Chapter 279 - I also want to live in denial

Given that Xiao Lei was now under the protection of some of the most powerful people in the country, even if he wanted to keep the men of the Shenlong Family away from Murong Yu, he would not be able to do.

After some thought, Han Ye called Xiao Lei's driver over, and once the man arrived a few minutes later, he said with an authoritative tone, "Please drive Mrs. Xiao and Master Zhihao back. I'll drive your car. Just park my car outside the apartment and make sure to send them back to their apartment unit. I'll exchange cars with you later." 

The driver nodded. "Yes, Mr. Han." 

Han Ye then looked at Xiao Lei and said, "There's a bottle of water next to my seat, and one under the passenger's seat. Drink some water. Don't get yourself too dehydrated, or it would be bad for the babies." 

She nodded. 

When Han Ye turned to leave, Xiao Lei hesitated for a moment before calling his name, "Han Ye."

"Yeah?" He turned around to look at her with a curious expression. "Anything else?"

She looked down at her fingers for a few seconds before looking up at him. After she took a deep breath, she said, "No matter what happens, you do know that this is not your fault right? Even if I move away, it's because of Zhihao. It's not because I'm avoiding you or disliking you."

He smiled and walked over before raising his hand. He wanted to pat her on the head, but seeing how Xiao Zhihao was at the moment, he lowered his hand slightly before patting her at the side of her shoulder. "Of course I know." 

He then bade her farewell before walking away. 

The driver waited for a moment before asking Xiao Lei, "Should we, Mrs. Xiao?" 

Xiao Lei stared at Han Ye's receding back before nodding. "Let's go back."

....

Once they were back in their own unit, Xiao Zhihao went straight to his room while Xiao Lei went to sit down on the couch. Other than the sniffling sound that came from the backseat, the entire car journey was filled with silence, and not a word was spoken between these two. 

It was as if there were a cold war between these mother and son duo. 

As she sat on the couch, Xiao Lei looked at her hands as she thought to herself, "Yunjie, what should I do? Zhihao thought that I wanted you to be dead..."

She leaned down and placed her face into her palms, and her body trembled slightly. "How could he think that..." she thought sadly as silent tears slowly flowed down her cheeks into her palms. "More than anything else... I want you back by my side," she thought as she wiped her tears off with the bottom of her palms. Images of her husband kept flashing by in her mind, of him pouting, of him smiling at her, of him playing with their son. Everything... and each and every image only made her heart ache more. "But how can I be like him and pretend that you're still alive when you're not? How can I just live in denial?"

She changed her position and brought her knees up to her chest. She then wrapped her arms around her knees as she cried into her knees. "I also want to live in denial... I really do..." she thought as she cried while slowly punching her calves from frustration. Of course she wanted to live in denial, but she had a son to take care of. She could not just let herself get depressed. She was an a.d.u.l.t... although, at this moment, she wished she was a child again. 

Just like this, the two people in the apartment slowly cried themselves to sleep; one on the bed, and one on the couch. 

A couple of hours later, Xiao Lei woke up with swollen eyes. She wanted nothing more than to keep sleeping, but for the little ones in her stomach as well as the one currently sulking in his room, she had to get up and move. 

She steamed half a chicken and made some pork rib soup. While she was waiting for the rice to cook, she also made some stir fry broccoli. Her son loved broccoli, so she made more for him. 

Once everything was cooked, she placed everything on the dining table before going to her son's room. 

Knock! Knock!

She knocked on the door before saying softly, "Zhihao, dinner's ready."

There was no response from the room, and when she tried to turn the door knob, she found out that it was locked. After a moment of hesitation, she went back to the dining table and took a bowl of soup that had more meat than soup, a huge drumstick, and a huge plate of broccoli before putting them all onto a tray with a bowl of steaming hot rice. 

She then carried the tray back to Xiao Zhihao's door. 

Knock! Knock!

"Zhihao, I know you're still angry at me. But please take care of your own health. I'll leave the food outside your door. I'll be in my room if you want to talk."

Once she was done speaking, she then placed the tray of food on the floor. Before she left, she said, "No matter what, you're my son. I don't want to hurt you, but if I've hurt you in any way, please let me know. And... I love you."

With that said, she went back to the kitchen. As she looked at the food, she did not feel hungry at all. However, she still forced herself to eat a few bites. After that, she went back to her own room, leaving the door ajar so that her son could come in whenever he wanted. 

Meanwhile, in Zhihao's currently pitch-black room, he was still lying on his bed. His tears had dried up some time ago, and he was just lying there while holding the framed photo of himself and his parents. His heart ached, and so were his eyes. Even his entire body hurt from crying too much. 

As he gently touched the image of his father, he whispered, "Dad, please come back... You're alive, right? Please... Please come back... I miss you... I didn't mean to hurt Mum's feelings, but I'm just upset... You won't be mad at me, right?"

He continued to stay in his room until he could not bear the hunger anymore. He then got up and went to pick up the tray of food before closing his room door again. He then sat down on the floor next to the door as he slowly ate. 

Even though these were some of his favorites, for some reason, they all tasted bland. Even so, and even though they were cold, he still ate everything slowly. Once he was done, he carried the tray out into the kitchen, passing the cold dishes that were left out on the countertop. 

"Mum didn't eat?" he thought with a frown. He then glanced toward his mother's room, and from the door that was left ajar, he could see the light peeking out from the room. 

After thinking about it for a moment, he scooped a bowl of rice and placed some of the dishes onto a plate. Once he heated everything up, he placed them on the same tray that his mother used before bringing them to her room. 

He hesitated for a moment before peeking in.  

"She's asleep?" he thought as he looked at her body that was on the bed and facing away from the door. She was still wearing the same clothes that she wore to his school earlier, only more disheveled and less tucked in. He slowly walked in and placed the tray on the small coffee table that was at the end of her bed before walking over to look at her. 

She had indeed fallen asleep, and next to her was the same framed photo that Xiao Zhihao was looking at earlier. Her hand was on the image of her husband, as if she had been talking to him right before falling asleep.

Xiao Zhihao felt guilty upon seeing this, and the memory of his outburst earlier made his face turn red, both from guilt and embarrassment. He sighed inwardly before covering her body up with her comforter. 

"Zhihao?"