CH 9

“I’m sure you didn’t write that lowly erotic… no, sensual novel.”

“Your son is a naval commander. A proper commander shouldn’t even have time to write love letters.”

Ian added, suddenly remembering the apricot-coloured letter envelope.

“As if Ernest wasn’t bad enough, now you guys are doing this…. Ian, I’m exhausted.”

Violet whispered, as if she were going to disappear.

“I may be holding onto it too tightly due to my own greed, but it seems like Edward is going to give up the right to succession like this. Of course, I will try to persuade him somehow….”

When his mother summoned him to Windsorbell, Ian expected the subject of the succession to come up.

“Ian, do your duty.”

Despite his anticipation, he felt his breath catch in his throat. She was telling him to prepare to take Edward’s place on the throne.

“You know what I always tell you. You were born to live a life of value, a life that would be the envy of anyone.”

Value. It was something Violet would say to her children.

“To have my values destroyed by my own hand. I am very disappointed in Edward.”

“…….”

“Please don’t disappoint me too.”

Even the mention of ‘disappointment’ was perfect.

“So let’s get this rumour out of the way, shall we? I don’t want my children to be gossiped about for something so indecent.”

Violet said, gesturing to the copy of Noble Cut on the table. Her blue eyes were cold.

“I trust you’ll tidy up.”

With that look on her face, Ian couldn’t blame her.

***

Misery loves company.

“Natalie!”

“Ugh….”

It seems like I made some groaning noises unconsciously again today, possibly due to a hangover.

It’s Natalie, by the way. Who’s calling my name so loudly.

“Wake up, wake up now.”

“Oh…. Mary, just a little more….”

I crawled under the covers as usual, but they were suddenly pulled back.

“Get up now!”

Before I could react, I was grabbed by the collar and jerked upright. I blinked frantically.

“What, what…Bianca?”

In front of her was her sister, Bianca, who was somehow neatly dressed for the early morning.

Not the Countess of Rutherford, who was always elegant and polite, but a short-tempered woman who looked like ‘Bianca Dowse’. The moment I woke up from sleep, I felt as if I had returned to my fifteenth year.

“Why are you here so early in the morning and unannounced…. Just put this down and say it!”

“What the hell have you done?”

“What?”

Bianca glanced back to see if the door had opened, just in case, and then harshly released Natalie’s grip.

“You really know how to suppress your temper! Does the Count know about this?”

“Lower your voice. You damned woman.”

Bianca gritted her teeth, pulled a wad of paper from her chest, and threw it in Natalie’s face.

“Hey!”

“Read it.”

Bianca said, her face rigid.

Why is she like this, really. That expression only comes out when Bianca is really angry, so Natalie began to feel uneasy. She picked up one of the scattered papers on the bed and started reading quietly.

The further down Natalie’s gaze travelled, the whiter her face grew.

The feeling of shame from having her secret diary exposed was overwhelming, but Natalie couldn’t even feel it anymore. When she looked up again, her hands were trembling. It was fear.

“You, did you do this.”

The sheaf of papers Bianca had brought with her was a compilation of evidence that David’s identity was Natalie Dowse. There were letters to publishers, handwriting analysis, bank accounts.

“…You’re not saying no.”

Bianca made a face and turned her head away from Natalie, as if to look away from her. After shooting her a blank stare, she spoke calmly.

“My husband didn’t tell me right away, so I found out too late. The prosecutor has already decided to take David to court, so the police may be here today.”

Natalie paled and stared at the scattered papers. Bianca busily gathered the papers together.

“Let’s see a lawyer first.”

“Wait, for a moment.”

I’d already called it quits, and I was going to start seriously looking for a groom and conforming to the life of a lady.

But why?

Bianca shouted as Natalie struggled to compose herself.

“We don’t have time for this, Natalie, wake up!”

“No…. Still, the prosecution….”

“The House of Nobility has charged David with ‘gross obscenity,’ and the prosecution has already decided to charge him. So you’d better–”

“Me…?”

Natalie muttered in disbelief.

At the same time, Bianca, who had been tugging on Natalie’s arm, stiffened. Her face contorted into a miserable grimace.

“…Yes, you.”

Bianca whispered helplessly.

“You’re going to prison, Natalie.”

Apparently, burying the hatchet wasn’t enough. I’m guilty of gross indecency? Natalie felt like she was dreaming.

“…Why did you do this?”

Bianca asked, looking like she was about to cry.

‘I was just writing down my delusions. If you ask me why I did it….’

Natalie pursed her lips as if she wanted to say something. But she couldn’t bring herself to speak, and Bianca finally spoke up.

“Oh, never mind! Don’t say anything. It must be that crap about living an ‘extraordinary life’ again!”

Then she turned away with a shrug.

“I’m sick and tired of your half-heartedness. I don’t know what the hell you want to do.”

The assessment was moderate.

Natalie wasn’t exactly trying to be a writer. She’d been writing dirty stories in secret as a way to get out of a bad mood.

She started writing for fun and sending it to publishers when she made her social debut and met Christina, who reintroduced her to sensual fiction.

As such, Natalie didn’t realise she was David until her stories were published in a series of magazines and finally in a book.

‘What if the unmarried lady is David?’

It was because of the unconscious distinction between herself and ‘David.’

In the publishing industry, writing was still considered a man’s job, and female writers often hid their identities under male pseudonyms to avoid prejudice and criticism.

It was still that kind of world.

But a woman, even a woman writing erotic fiction, knew she would be judged by the world if her identity was revealed.

“It was just frustrating, I just wanted to do something other than be someone’s bride, someone’s wife, someone’s mother….”

Horrified, Natalie stuttered and mumbled before shutting her mouth.

What are you talking about, Natalie Dowse? Look at the look on Bianca’s face. Look at that look of disgust.

Yes, I was afraid of those stares, but I couldn’t stop writing because it gave me breathing room. Somehow, it was all my fault.

“You wrote a nasty piece of writing for that reason? If you wanted to write so much, you should have written a critique or something. You shouldn’t write a story that you can’t even say you wrote!”

What’s wrong with following pleasure and stimulation? Is it such a bad thing? When everyone was excitedly reading it, as soon as they found out that a young woman was the author, it was suddenly treated as a grave obscenity.

However, she couldn’t bring herself to speak.

“What the hell are you thinking, writing that shit? What do you think people are going to think? What do you think they’re going to say about Dowse now?”

Natalie’s eyes began to flutter even more anxiously than before.

“What about our sister? What about Dorothy’s life? I bet you did this secretly because you didn’t care at all, but Dorothy dreams of getting married. The least you could do was not ruin her own life.”

It is as Biance said. This won’t end with Natalie Dowse being kicked out of social circles. At this rate, the Dowse family will never set foot in Duan.

‘Dorothy, she hasn’t even made her social debut yet. What can I do?’

Tears quickly filled Natalie’s black eyes, and soon began to drip onto the white blanket. Bianca saw it and dried her face.

“Natalie, you just think everyone else is stupid.”

Her voice was pitiful.

No, I don’t, but Natalie was choking up and tears were streaming down her face.

Would she have been okay if I had stopped writing sooner? I had no idea how to fix the disaster my complacency had caused.

“But sister, I am not foolish enough to conform to the fate of a lady. There are things I’ve enjoyed so far, so I’ve done my duty, and I’ve seen reality. How long are you going to live in a dream?”

“Bianca, I….”

“I thought you were just complaining, but you were actually doing something. No, it’s even worse. It would have been better if you didn’t do anything at all.”

As Natalie’s breath caught in her throat, the doorway opened and an eerie shadow stretched out, reaching the end of the bed.

Natalie and Bianca reflexively turned their heads toward the open doorway.

In the doorway stood Mrs Heaton. Her back to the light made it impossible to see her expression.

“Get out of my ‘Heaton Park’ at once.”

Mrs Heaton’s voice was the coldest I had ever heard.

The newspaper crumpled in her grasp came into view. Bianca squeezed her eyes shut.

⌈The shocking identity of David. The disgrace of a lady, Miss Natalie Dowse.⌋

It took Natalie a moment to recognise the headline on the front page of the newspaper she held. Her world was rapidly falling apart.

***

Marcus Peebles, Prince Ian’s aide, straightened up and began to make excuses.

“David is classified as a sensual novelist, and the critics were sure he was a man…”

Marcus had been with the Prince for ten years now, but since his military service had drastically reduced his face-to-face time with him, he hadn’t gotten used to the cold stare.

Nevertheless, Marcus cleared his throat a little, fearing that he would be cut off.

“So, of course, everyone said it would be the old masterpiece of the famous critic Old Earl Humperwood….”

“That’s not true.”

“I apologise, Your Majesty.”

A furrow formed on the prince’s brow.

Marcus bowed his head deeply, as if very apologetic. At times like this, he had to flatten himself on his back.

The man he served had an angelic face and a perpetual smile of ecstasy, but he was no angel at heart.

⌈The disgrace of a lady, Miss Natalie Dowse.⌋

Ian looked at the headline on the front page of the newspaper as if he were looking at a troublemaker out of control.