CH 42.3

Lu Li’s mouth remained slightly agape for a while, but then, he suddenly knelt on one knee, looked up at Xie Jianwei who was sitting, and said seriously, “The truth is, I have always liked you.”

Xie Jianwei was obviously startled.

Lu Li held his hand again, his voice was low and hoarse: “All these time, I’ve been with you because I love you.”

Xie Jianwei closed his eyes for some time. When he opened them again, he said slowly: “Ah-Li, I know that you’re a kind person, but I don’t need your sympathy.”  He’s in such a situation,  so  Lu Li’s words were undoubtedly comforting him.

The relationship between the two was originally that of a Gold Master and a kept man, but it would seem a little more beautiful if love was really mixed.

But Xie Jianwei wasn’t stupid; he only thought it was out of Lu Li’s good will.

“I wasn’t able to confess my feelings to you until now because I know that you don’t love me. I’m afraid that you’d leave me if I told you what I truly felt. But in fact, I love you. I love you so much. From the first time we met, I jhave always wanted to keep you by my side.” Lu Li explained.

“You shouldn’t know who I am, at least, not until now.” Xie Jianwei said. They only saw each other a few times during their younger years, and it’s currently more than a decade later.  The youthful teenager already grew up,  so his features wasn’t as it used to be.

Lu Li shook his head and said, “Not thirteen years ago, but three years ago.”

He paused before continuing, “If I don’t love you, I won’t acquiesce to this kind of relationship. I know you are just…using me, but I am willing.”

Xie Jianwei looked down and saw the unconcealed overflowing love in Lu Li’s eyes.

“These three years wasn’t as bad as you think. It is just my greed, but I tried and still trying, my best to keep you.” Lu Li added.

After a long time, Xie Jianwei also held Lu Li’s hand in return and said in a somewhat weary manner, “Thank you, Ah-Li …… thank you.”

Lu Li didn’t dare confess his love in the past because he was afraid that Xie Jianwei would find his feelings troublesome and would leave him.  But now, he managed to gather his courage to tell him what he truly felt because his confession would make Xie Jianwei’s broken dignity piece itself.

Maybe Xie Jianwei didn’t love him from beginning to end but at this moment, Lu Li saw hope, a bright light that pierced through the clouds now shining upon himself.

There’s real possibility that the current Xie Jianwei would accept him.

After all, their meeting was so beautiful. Although these three years were somewhat messy, their relationship, in general, was full of joy and harmony.

Lu Li felt that the previous Xie Jianwei had no heart and didn’t know how to love.

But now that Xie Jianwei remembered everything and was able to  finally become complete.

So perhaps, from this moment onwards, Xie Jianwei would be able to accept his feelings.

It might take a long time, but Lu Li would willingly wait. Even if he had to spend his whole life in exchange for a second chance of love, he’s willing.

Because it’s for Xie Jianwei, his only love, the most beautiful aurora in his world.

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After chatting for a while, Xie Jianwei went back to the bed to sleep.

He’s still weak and had to undergo a lot of treatment every day, so he needed a lot of rest.

Lu Li shoved off all the work again to accompany Xie Jianwei, day and night.

Xie Jianwei only wakes up for a few hours a day and Lu Li wanted to be there for him during these few hours.

The two would talk about trivial matters and say some irrelevant things.

Lu Li no longer had to conceal his feelings therefore, his eyes were always filled with affection every time he looked at Xie Jianwei, and he consistently displayed the most considerate behavior to express his love for Xie Jianwei.

Military Advisor Xie, who was very committed in acting, tried to throw his family’s Da-Li away several times. He wanted to tell him that he loved him too, wanted to make love with him and do other intimate things….

However, it wasn’t the right time yet, hence, he had to continue acting. Success was already in sight so he couldn’t afford to make any mistakes.

Even though Lu Li was a “god”, his body still couldn’t keep up on guarding Xie Jianwei all day long.

Xie Jianwei would occasionally wake up in the middle of the night, and he felt distressed upon seeing Lu Li lying by his beside.

He shifted a little but  Lu Li immediately opened his eyes. Those pair of clear dark orbs implied that Lu Li only slept lightly, that’s why he woke up just after some slight movements.

Lu Li asked him: “Why did you wake up? Do you feel uncomfortable?”

“I’m alright.”

Lu Li asked again: “Would you like to drink water?”

Xie Jianwei nodded and said, “Okay.”

Lu Li got up and went to pour some water for him.

When he came over with the glass of water, Xie Jianwei just sat up and the faint yellow light emitted by the night lamp on the bedside table hitting his neck added some warmth to his pale complexion.

Lu Li’s throat bobbed. He then leaned over to place a pillow behind Xie Jianwei’s waist.

When Xie Jianwei lowered his head to take a sip of water, Lu Li said, “Slow down.”

Xie Jianwei replied, “It’s okay, I’m not that weak anymore.”

Lu Li smiled.

Xie Jianwei handed him the glass after drinking. He quickly put it back on the table,  then turned around to cover Xie Jianwei  with a quilt.

Xie Jianwei’s eyes blinked, and he said, “The bed is quite spacious.”

Lu Li: “…”

“You haven’t had any proper rest for days now. Come up and sleep beside me for a while.”

Lu Li pause, but in the end, he said: “No.”

Xie Jianwei knew what he was worried about. Based on the relationship between the two of them, they spent more time doing other things in bed than sleeping.

It’s not that Lu Li didn’t want to sleep with him, but that he didn’t dare. He was afraid that his body might react a bit which would end up scaring Xie Jianwei.

Xie Jianwei smiled indifferently: “Don’t think too much. I haven’t forgotten it, you know.”

Lu Li’s throat was a bit dry: “I…”

Xie Jianwei didn’t give Lu Li any chance to utter some excuses. He just directly moved to one side of the bed in order to give room for another person.

Lu Li stared blankly for a while.

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Finally, he took off his shoes and lay down beside him.

Xie Jianwei who was also lying down, smiled. His body was still quite tired, so when he felt Lu Li’s presence beside him, he quickly fell asleep.

They hadn’t slept for long when Xie Jianwei inadvertently kicked the quilt. Lu Li picked it up and covered Xie Jianwei with the quilt again, but the latter suddenly moved towards him, hugged one of his arms and nestled on his chest.

Lu Li’s other arm stretched out, but it neither hugged Xie Jianwei back nor did he put it down to his side.

He foolishly remained frozen in that posture for a while but in the end, he finally encircled his arms around the young man and put him in his embrace.

Xie Jianwei rubbed his face against Lu Li’s chest and automatically found a more comfortable posture. This action was probably a habit of his body. Needless to say, the two have been together for more than three years. They spent countless days and nights, together, and it was a given that countless habits have also been formed.

Lu Li held the sleeping man in his arms, feeling warm and at the same time, nervous.

He thought he would be able to sleep right away, but the sensation in hands and the light scent lingering on the tip of his nose evoked a lot of memories. And so, ‘Big’ Li who hadn’t tasted meat for some time, gradually stood up.

Lu Li dare not move anymore, and just smiled bitterly.

Xie Jianwei, on the other hand, was snow sleeping soundly.

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Early the next morning, Xie Jianwei’s leg bumped into a familiar hard object.

Lu Li: “…”

Xie Jianwei: “Need help?”

Lu Li quickly said, “No, it’s just a little morning reac…”

Xie Jianwei groped it at once.

Lu Li took a deep breath and said softly, “You don’t have to do this.”

“Why?” Xie Jianwei asked him back.

The entirety of Lu Li’s blood concentrated in one place, and his voice trembled slightly: “We are now…”

Xie Jianwei smiled: “People in love do these things.”

Lu Li abruptly turned his head to look at Xie Jianwei.

Xie Jianwei avoided his sight, but the tips of his ears were a little red: “I…I like you too… otherwise, I, I wouldn’t…”

He said it such an indirect manner, but Lu Li felt like fireworks suddenly bloomed in the dark night sky, and it gave him a very dazzling experience.

Lu Li couldn’t help but kiss Xie Jianwei.

It was a kiss brimming with love

At the last time, Lu Li couldn’t help but kiss him.

It was a kiss brimming with love, mixed with sorrow and excitement.

Although Xie Jianwei was only pretending that he “just started  liking Lu Li “, but in reality, they’ve been in love with each other for years and years now, so of course, his body also started to have some reactions.

Lu Li looked at him, “Don’t move.”

After giving that instruction, he got up slightly, helped Xie Jianwei with his mouth.

Xie Jianwei trembled. The two of them had done everything before, and were already familiar with each other, but at the moment it’s like  it was their first time. Every touch was full of cautiousness and intimacy, melting both of their hearts.

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Lu Li was in a particularly good mood because Xie Jianwei’s health was becoming more and more stable, and along with it was their budding feelings, slowly growing amidst the rain and wind.

Xie Jianwei was adjusting his mood. He was a powerful man, and his youthful excellence wasn’t a mere exaggeration.

Lu Li asked him, “Do you still want to act after your recovery?”

Xie Jianwei shook his head and said, “I’ll do research. I used to want to further my studies in medicine.”

Lu Li felt that it would be fine no matter what Xie Jianwei do. He couldn’t help glancing at the young man as the corners of the mouth rose slightly.

Xie Jianwei: “Will our relationship affect your career?”

At the end of the day, Lu Li was still a well-known public figure. A male partner would definitely cause some sensation, and their relatively peaceful lives might be at risk.

Lu Li’s heart became full when he heard the words ‘our relationship’: Yes. I and Xie Jianwei are now in our road to a loving relationship.

Although Xie Jianwei was accepting him in a still gradual manner, as long as there was a start, the road ahead would only be filled with light.

“I will retreat behind the scenes in the future.” Lu Li said.

Xie Jianwei replied: “Alright.”

The two never talked about anything related to Xie family ever since Xie Jianwei woke up. But now, it seemed like Xie Jianwei was finally able to calm his chaotic heart and took the initiative to mention it. “Was the one who helped me with my bone marrow transplant Xie Zhiwei?”

Lu Li: “Yes.”

Xie Zhiwei was the only one left in the entire Xie family. Except for him, no suitable person could be found within such a short time.

Xie Jianwei frowned, and it took a long time before he spoke again, “I can’t forgive him.”

It ‘s time to clean up Xie Zhiwei . Xie Jianwei, who “remembered everything”, could add more drama to tear down Xie Zhiwei.

Lu Li said, “Of course, I too, won’t forgive him.” After knowing what truly happened, it made him want to destroy the whole Xie family.

Xie Jianwei: “My mother was killed by Xie Zhiwei.”

Lu Li’s ‘intruder personalities’ would disappear once they die in the dreamscape.

Then based on this logic, perhaps, “it” will also disappear once “it” gets killed off here, won’t it?

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Translator’s Notes:

A note/review of events from past chapters: If another of Lu Li’s personality intruded a dream (meaning this particular personality is not the dream master), and he gets killed in the dreamscape, then this alter would also disappear in real life.

These personalities are all Lu Li, so imagine if one of them disappears. That’s why Xie Jianwei wanted to avoid that from happening and was always careful when dealing with these “intruders”. He’d rather choose for Lu Li’s personalities to multiply further than one of them disappearing.

So the whole plot of this novel revolves around solving the issues in their seemingly “perfect relationship”, and DISCOVERING WHY IN THE WORLD DID LU LI’S PERSONALITY SPLIT. EVEN XJW AND YK, a doctor, DIDN’T KNOW. BECAUSE THAT’S PART OF THE PLOT. (That was pretty obvious since the start, but I felt the need to say this because I once read a review that said “why it wasn’t explained/Lu li’s illness came out of nowhere”.)

XJW initially thought that  Lu Li was suffering mentally because of all the burden he’s carrying (refer to Back to Reality chapters) . That was, until this dreamscape. He felt that there’s another reason for Lu Li’s condition. XJW called it “That thing/ It”, and he assumed that “it” was attached to Lu Li’s consciousness/spirit, that’s why it could manipulate Lu Li’s dreamscape to certain extent .

And btw, I just realized this: Since XJW and XJW aren’t full-blooded siblings (because drama), then they weren’t supposed to match that high during the bone marrow typing. But then again, I remembered that it really doesn’t matter, cause there’s two “Wills” in this dreamscape, and both of them wants the transplant to be successful.  Something like this could easily become a plothole in other novels, but here, it could be easily explained with “because this is a dream.” I just can’t lololol