Chapter 104 - Strangers on the Bench

Jiwon returned home only to see Mirae was typing away on her laptop. She was in a robotic daze, completing complicated maths puzzles for her latest project. Her food was half eaten and she was concentrating so much in her work that she did not even hear him entering.

Jiwon crossed his arms and frowned. He knew her well; she acted like this only when she was upset. 

"Mirae," he called, tapping her shoulder. Jumping in fright, Mirae looked up in shock. 

"Jiwon!" she exclaimed. "Don't scare me like that!"

She was annoyed at the intrusion. Taking a deep breath, she got back to work.

"You did not finish your food," he pointed out. Mirae absentmindedly took bites out of her cold food. Some of it fell on her lap, but she did not notice.

Jiwon took a heavy breath. Her pregnancy hormones were probably acting up again. He bent down and scooped up in his arms, bridal style.

"Hey!" Mirae protested. "Jiwon, let me go!"

But Jiwon did not listen and carried her to the couch. He set her down on it. Mirae fired up in anger.

"Jiwon, you know I hate being interrupted during work!" she snapped.

Jiwon gave her a hard look. "Did you eat lunch?"

"I wasn't hungry," she fumed, standing up to get back to her work but Jiwon pulled her back.

"Mirae, stop being stubborn," he said , trying to keep his cool. She was endangering her health by not eating properly. It irritated him when she neglected her health.

"I'm fine!" she argued. "I need to finish my work!"

"Finish it whenever you want!" he said hotly. "But you need to eat properly in this condition-"

"Jiwon you don't have to worry about me," she scoffed. "I can take care of myself."

"Mirae, you are pregnant," he explained slowly. "If you don't eat properly, it will harm our child-"

"So your concern is only for the sake of the child?" she questioned him. 

"What are you talking about?"

"Tell me Jiwon," she said. "In these past two years, how come you're showing so much concern towards me now? Is it because of the pregnancy? You care for our child but not actually for me!"

Jiwon was taken aback. She had never voiced her insecurities out loud. Her words was slicing his heart into a thousand pieces. It angered him that she thought like that. It saddened him that she doubted his feelings towards her.

"Think whatever you want," he finally said, masking the pain he felt. He walked away, leaving her standing there. Slamming the door behind him, he angrily stormed out of the house.

Mirae was standing in the living room, unmoving like a statue. A single drop of tear was followed by many. Her mind was a mess. She wanted to scream at him, hurl many words at him for hiding the truth. But the words would not come out. It was impossible to bring herself to face reality. 

All this time, she had let him hide many secrets from her, never questioning him. But now she needed answers. She wanted to know everything but was afraid of the truth. She no longer knew what to believe. Everyone lied to her. Even the person she loved with her heart had lied.

She broke down completely. Falling backwards, she cried the whole night. 

….

Jiwon was wandering aimlessly. He did not know where he was going as his heart felt heavy. Sitting on a bench, he felt helpless and lost. Burying his head in his hands, he felt helpless. He was so deep in his own thoughts, that he did not realize when someone came and took a seat beside him.

"You look lost," a voice broke through his reverie.

Startled, Jiwon looked around to see a woman in her late twenties sitting next to him. She was very pale but had a radiant glow on her face. Her brown eyes were mysterious and she was wearing a dark blue dress which reached up to her knee. Her long black hair was complemented with a blue hat and she was wearing expensive jewelry. No doubt her clothes were designer wear. She had a walking cane in her hand.

"You look lost," she commented. 

Jiwon ignored her. He was in no mood to entertain nosy strangers.

"Nosy as I may be," she said, reading his mind. "Venting out your frustrations will help you realize your path."

Jiwon froze. How did she read his mind?

"Oh your expression is just readable," she answered. "You're not as impassive as you think you are."

"Is it a hobby of yours?" he asked sarcastically. "To annoy strangers?"

"No," she said simply. "I can read people well. I bet I can figure out your problems just by looking at your face."

"So what is bothering me?" he rolled his eyes. The girl studied him for a few seconds.

"You had an argument with your wife," she stated. "She is pregnant and she went berserk on you today. Am I correct?"

Jiwon was startled. "Who are you?" he asked suspiciously. How did she know so much?

"I don't know a lot," she said. There it was again. Was she reading his mind?

"I simply read people," she answered, checking out her nails. "You wanted to say something to her today but her anger made you lose your cool." 

Jiwon bit back his snappy words. 

"Tell me, stranger," she went on. "What do you really feel?"

"I-I-" he stammered.

"You-you, what?" she demanded softly. "What are you hiding behind that facade of yours? Pain? Abuse? Guilt? Or all three?"

Jiwon was astonished. Who was this woman?

"The bigger question is, who are you?" she asked him. "What do you really want?"

"I want...I want to know…" he said. "I want to know if I can ever love my wife the way she wants me to…"

"Why should you love anyone the way they want you to?" she raised her eyebrows. "You should love a person the way you should. Unconditionally. When did love become about fulfilling standards? Did your wife ever ask you to love her the way she loves you?"

"No," Jiwon admitted. "She simply believed my words. She accepted the fact that I will probably never fall in love with her."

"Yet you did," the girl pointed out. Jiwon frowned.

"Don't be so naive," she laughed a mysterious laugh. "You know it too. Tell me something stranger. What's her favorite color?"

"Purple," he said immediately. "She has all sorts of clothes in purple color. Even in her software designs, she uses her signature purple color."

"What is her favorite fruit?"

"Strawberries," he rolled his eyes. "She'll always run off to pick up strawberries from the convenience store. Even her cosmetics are strawberry flavor."

"And her favorite movie?"

"Strangely, she loves horror movies," Jiwon frowned. "The Exorcist. But how does all these questions prove anything?"

"Did she ever mention any of these answers to you herself?" the girl countered. She leaned against the bench, looking at him.

Her words made Jiwon rack his brains. In the past two years, he did not ask even once what his wife's favorite things were. He subconsciously picked up her favorites. Even Mirae knew all about his habits even though she never asked either. 

"We...we just observed each other," he admitted.

"Couples live with each other for decades and even they don't pick up these small details of their spouses through mere observation," the girl said. "Whereas you know every little detail about your wife without even asking. Tell me something. How did you feel when you were arguing with her? Were you hurt by her words or by the fact that she might be hurting herself?"

Jiwon stiffened. The girl was pointing out his deepest feelings which even he was not aware of. Truthfully, when he was arguing with Mirae, he was more concerned about the fact that she was harming her health rather than her words. He only felt hurt when she accused that he did not…

"Love her?" the girl finished the sentence for him. "She believes you don't love her because she is unsure of your feelings towards her. Obviously."

Jiwon looked down, his heart beating rapidly. 

"If a day comes when you will find your wife is no longer standing beside you," the girl went on. "What will you feel?"

"It will feel as if I have died," he answered, surprised by his own words. It was as if his mouth said those words on its own.

"There you go," the girl smiled. "You have your answer. Now you know what to do with it."

She stood up and started to walk away. Jiwon gaped at her.

"Hey!" he called. The girl stopped in her tracks and turned around. 

"What's your name?" he asked curiously. 

"It usually changes on a daily basis," the girl joked. "Today, I feel like calling myself Wang Shina."

She gave him a small wave before turning away once again, disappearing into the dark. Jiwon was left with very confused feelings.