CH 56

“Good morning, Sensei”

”O-ou. Are you feeling better, Kitami?”

Receiving several glances, I arrived at school for the first time in weeks and entered the classroom, greeting the teacher. The teacher walked toward the staff room without pursuing anything further in particular.

I had no intention of coming to school until the end of the summer vacation. But today, I went to school as if nothing had happened. I guess I was a person who was easily influenced by something after all.

I took my seat. The uncomfortable atmosphere in the classroom, combined with the ineffective air conditioning, was still there even after a short interval. It was probably because Shinohara had politely spread my bad reputation loud and clear.

Looking back, I made the mistake of not making excuses for my bad reputation, thinking that it would fade away anyway.

In fact, I’m good. I still think the same way… I’m sure Sakakibara would be angry if I told her this too.

Anyway, it was not good for anyone but me.

In any case, it was because there was someone else who thought so.

”Hey, who the hell do you think you are, coming to school?”

It was Shinohara and Shirakawa who stood in front of my desk, spouting such a line that I thought was a bit prehistoric.

They politely greeted me in the morning.

I looked at Shirakawa’s face and saw that he was looking at me with a somewhat embarrassed expression on his face.

“Oi, you, what are you ignoring me for?”

My classmates were also looking at me as if something was wrong. I don’t like to stand out. Somehow, I am undeniably somewhat nervous. Surely I’m not the only one.

”Are you listening to me!!”

Dang! The sound of banging on desks echoes through the classroom. I respond to this barrage without being upset.

“… What?”

”You little… lickspittle.”

Very Showa-like. What kind of upbringing did this guy have, even though it is 2021 beyond the Heisei era.

[TL: The Shōwa era refers to the period of Japanese history corresponding to the reign of Emperor Shōwa from December 25, 1926 until his death on January 7, 1989…

The Heisei era is the period of Japanese history corresponding to the reign of Emperor Akihito from 8 January 1989 until his abdication on 30 April 2019. ]

Shirakawa was standing behind Shinohara, looking absentminded without saying anything in particular, when he suddenly spoke to me. I guessed that he had no choice but to follow Shinohara today. There was no turning back now.

“If you do anything to me again, I won’t be silent either,”

It was a genuine threat. Shinohara probably did not understand, but Shirakawa, who knew the truth, must have understood it correctly.

”T-That’s…”

Shirakawa was clearly shaken. Judging by his reaction, Shirakawa must have wanted to back out. But Shinohara did not stop. I don’t know what the circumstances were, but Shinohara couldn’t stop.

”Oi… Don’t ignore me…!”

”Shinohara! You should stop for now!”

”Aaah! What the hell are you talking about!!”

”That’s enough!! I’ll explain it properly to you!”

From the side, Shirakawa had a sudden change of heart, and Shinohara could not hide his agitation. Shirakawa, with a sword face that said nothing of presence or absence, told Shinohara to hold his anger in check.

”It’s not too late! Listen to me for once!”

”You… What are you talking about all of a sudden… —Chi, you’ll have to explain properly later!”

Perhaps pushed by this momentum, Shinohara left the classroom with an expression of having no choice, although he was not convinced.

As he left, he glared at me. Shirakawa did not look back, but I can imagine what kind of expression he had on his face.

(….How should I put it?)

It was easier than I thought it would be. I don’t feel like my treatment in the class has changed much, but I wonder what kind of action he —- Shirakawa —- will take.

As long as things are going to stop, I can’t just say, “That’s fine.” If I don’t settle up properly, I’m sure the books will come tumbling down somewhere. I need to clean up my act now.

I can’t put the blame on Sakakibara.

There is no doubt that I was influenced. Still, I must not run away from what I want to do.

”—Kitami?

”….Good morning, Fukumura. “

I had told Fukumura that I was coming to school last night. So I had expected Fukumura to ask about me.

She entered the classroom and asked me when she came to my seat.

“….Do you have any time after school?”

”Yes, I do. Wait for me in front of the main gate.”

I agreed to the proposal as I had expected. I have something I want to tell her.

”I’ll see you later.”

With that, Fukumura left the classroom. I guess she is planning to talk about what she wants to say and what she wants to ask later.

(See you later, huh?)

I liked that phrase. It was proof that the relationship had not been severed. It guarantees the next time.

Words have a will. That’s why I liked the sound of those words.

[Maika PoV]

Time flies. It’s after school in the blink of an eye.

”Thanks for coming on such short notice.”

“Well, I didn’t want to come to school either, but I showed up on such short notice.”

After school, we came to a family restaurant in front of the station.

We ordered a drink bar for each other and talked lightly about what we had been up to. We don’t get down to business yet. I needed to prepare myself, and I am sure so did he.

It was I who broke the ice.

“Hey, Kitami, what are you going to do about Shinohara and the others?”

”That’s—“

The fact that he came to the school meant that he had changed his mind about something. He was going to give it some time to fade away. He must have come to school for something more than that.

(I–I don’t know anything.)

I guess he wasn’t hiding anything from me. In fact, he did not refuse my invitation, and I am sure he will answer that question.

However, I will probably never know the reason why he answered that question.

I didn’t realize how frustrating it would be not to know.

”To a certain extent, I’ve decided not to keep my mouth shut.”

To some extent, he said. That alone, I thought, was quite a change. Because he had taken a method that was close to crying himself to sleep. It was too big a transformation to be treated as a minor change.

“What do you mean?”

I asked him as if it was nothing, so as not to let him know the complexity of my feelings.

They’ll at least make up for what they did to me. I’m not going to do anything back, and I’ve got a lot of thought around that.”

“I see… You’ve already made up your mind, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m not going to pull it anymore. I’ve decided I’m not going to pretend anymore that I’ve reached a point of no return.”

Looking into his determined eyes, I realized that he had really changed.

I am sure he will not give up anything about this. Whatever the outcome, I am sure he will be satisfied.

So I don’t have to say anything. I just need to give that boost.

And yet… And yet.—-

“—Kitami, you’ve changed”

That was the next thing I said.

—No. That’s not what I wanted to say.

I wanted to say that Kitami is amazing. I couldn’t stand it at all. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.

I’ll do my best.

I should have said that, and I intended to say so.

”… Fukumura?

Words do not only convey meaning. They can also read emotions from the way people say things.

Therefore, I am sure that the negative feelings in my words have been conveyed.

“…Ah, no. It’s nothing?”

”…Then it’s fine”

It’s not nothing. I have to correct it. I have to tell him I didn’t mean it. I’m sure he knows. He must know I’m caught up in something.

But the words wouldn’t come out. I’m taking advantage of his kindness by letting it slide.

（I don’t care if he changed.)

The reason why I said this was clear.

It was just because it wasn’t me.

I was frustrated by the fact that it wasn’t me who changed Kitami.

That was just a feeling of defeat.

I am sure it was her who changed Kitami. For Kitami, she is a dependable and kind-hearted junior.

I don’t dislike her. In fact, I have a good feeling about her and can even respect her as a human being.

She probably likes Kitami. I am sure that even Kitami himself is aware of that.

I wondered if their relationship had progressed. I suddenly thought of that.

She must have pushed him.

I was disgusted with myself for feeling itchy about that fact.

Even for me, I thought.

I think so, even though I stuck my neck out on my own.

Why is she doing this?

I don’t know much about their relationship, but I can’t help but think that.

Why, why, why—-

“… Fukumura? What’s wrong? Are you perhaps not feeling well…?”

”—Ah…”

I looked in front of me, and my eyes met with Kitami’s, who looked at me with concern.

Looking into his eyes, I realized what was going on. I understood. I couldn’t help but be convinced.

(I… I’m just thinking about myself)

“No, it’s okay. I’m really fine. I’m just a little tired.”

I lied. I wasn’t tired.

He was kind. I knew what was coming next.

”Is that so? Then don’t push yourself too hard. Let’s call it a day.”

Kitami says that and starts getting ready to leave. Kitami always does that, always acting first before taking care of himself.

But that doesn’t mean I’m special.

Because he’s like that, I—-

(I don’t know what’s going on anymore.)

All I know is that she was facing Kitami with a straight mind. I couldn’t do that. I just couldn’t act for him.

I was trying to help him for me.

That is why I could not change him.

Because this is how I made my position special. Because I thought I was standing on the center stage when I was just one of the many.

(… I lost completely.)

I knew this was going to happen when I was aware of winning and losing. So I was convinced.

The person who deserves someone like him is Sakakibara-san.