Chapter 6: Little Talks

Chapter 6: Little Talks

Some days you wake up feeling better; others you just feel less bad.

Today, I woke to Rels fingers combing through my hair. it didnt solve the lingering headache, but it helped. Made me feel more human through the persistent throbbing deep within my thigh.

Whether I slept on it wrong, or if running back and forth across Ladys Port had pushed me past the limits of my endurance, I couldnt say. Clearly though, the pain had evolved past what I could ignore. My penance for seizing the power I needed to strike down Hawkwright.

How are you feeling, Mistress?

I let out a humorless chuckle. Better than yesterday, worse than last week.

She frowned. Via.

I waved a hand. My leg is getting worse and the entire town is a mess. Thats secondary though.

Her frown deepened. That should not be secondary, your health

First, I said. I regret to inform you that I am irked with my lovely, I squeezed her hand, and wonderful girlfriend.

That earned me a surprised blink. Youremad at me?

A droll smile slipped across my lips. I thought you said my leg was more important. I held up my hands. No, no, Im sorry. That was mean. Here, help me sit up.

After Rel pulled me upright, I managed to settle back against the headboard and look her in the eye. Not that Relia wasnt taller than me even when we were both sitting down, but it was the principle of the thing. I dared anyone to have a serious conversation while lying beneath their lover. It was plain distracting.

Imnot good at this. I gestured between the two of us. This people thing. So Im just going to say what I think I need to say, and then well go from there, kay?

I immediately cringed at how wishy washy that sounded, but Rel just nodded, taking my hands. Im here for you.

Youre making it really hard to stay mad.

That would be my goal, yes?

I laughed at her sly smirk, before taking a deep breath. You undercut me yesterday, I said. I had a whole speech planned, and a clear setup for my first bit of capital punishment, and then you took my legs out from under me with a sledgehammer.

It didnt help that we ended up standing on that stage for hours yesterday, which is part of why my legs still fucked. I patted my aching thigh. But the leg isnt why Im upset. Youve developed quite the habit of doing things without asking. If you wanted to challenge me, Id ask that you do it directly.

Rel ducked her head. Imnot trying to challenge you for anything.

Thats not what it feels like from where Im standing. I tilted my head back to look at the thatched roof. Ill admit, I was a grumpy little bitch after you crashed my party in Silverwall, but even if I think that choice was wrong, it worked out well enough in the end. This? I was right there, and you undercut my decision. Im not sure what Ill do if theres a third time.

She still couldnt meet my eyes, but she still managed, I learned my decisiveness from you, Mistress.

That startled a laugh out of me. Do you think Id date myself?

Her cheeks colored. Who wouldnt want to date you?

I sighed, running a hand down my face. Its really hard to stay mad if youre just gonna flatter me like that.

You couldnot be mad, Rel suggested.

I chewed on that for a second, turning over a few different responses in my head. Deciding I didnt want to yell and scream.

Id never gotten to this part.

Fine. I folded my arms across my stomach. I said my bit, tell me why I shouldnt be mad.

Rel nodded several times. Youretoo good to be true.

I raised an eyebrow. I just mentioned

You were always more.

Rel shook her head against mine. Only as much as you made me.

I let out a sigh, bringing up my arms to hug her. How could I reply to that. II was an engineer, what words could I put to the swelling in my chest? How could I make that into being in a way she could understand?

Rel hugged me closer. She said nothing, demanded nothing. I think I might have fallen in love with her for that alone.

Eventually, I found my ability to breathe again, and if my eyes were wet, Relia was kind enough not to mention it.

I dont know if Ill be able to walk today, I said at length. When I flexed my leg, the pain started up again. I did not want to test it with my weight. Ive been pushing myself too hard. Havent had a chance to work on my armor, even.

Why havent you? She asked.

There are too many irons in the fire, I replied. Just getting our farmland producing, building enough housingthose two alone have taken up nearly all of my time. I shrugged. I set up a council to help me offload some of my own work, and they have, but damn if they havent made more for me with petty snipping and power plays.

She frowned. I didnt know they were

Disruptive? I sighed. Annoying? Petty?

A burden on you.

Hah. I shrugged again. At least Im not spending all day drafting work schedules anymore. This housing block, though; no one likes my plan, and everyone wants me to help them more instead. I know a good compromise is supposed to leave everyone pissed, but I didnt think it would be this annoying just getting to the compromise bit!

Youre under so much pressure. She hugged me again. Im sorry I didnt notice.

I slumped against Rels shoulder. ItsI never made it to this part before. The ruling.

Youve done so well.

Have I? I shook my head. You just finished telling me what a mess Id made.

Not a mess, Rel replied. You wouldve fixed it.

Press X to doubt.

She ignored my muttered non-sequitur with the ease of long practice. I wish I could do more to support you, so you didnt feel like you had to do everything alone. You deserve all the help I can offer. That we can offer, even.

Deserve? I laughed. Need, though, definitely.

Rel combed her fingers through my hair again. This time, it did actually make me feel better.

What would you have of me, Mistress?

I dont know, I said. I just dont know.

She nodded against me.

Let me stay like this, for a bit. I hated how weak my voice sounded. I hated how complex it all was. I wished I could reduce all of the complexity down to simple numbers and equations I could solve, instead of people.

Youll think of something, Via, Rel said. I know you will.

A choked laugh escaped my throat. Yeah. Sure.

Stay for a while. She stroked up and down my back. Nothing is beyond you, My Lady.

I clutched her tighter, half giggling, half crying.

But in the face of her faith, I also believed.