Chapter 149
Chang-Won was struggling along the borders of life and death for a few days.
A lot happened while he had been hospitalized and receiving treatment. There were times when he dozed off after he coughed so much that he wasn’t able to breathe, and moments when his vision went from pitch black to completely white, making him feel like he was traveling between heaven and hell.
Just when he thought he would die soon, Chang-Won's body started to recover. He consistently received treatment, and he focused on rehabilitation and recovery through exercise. Although the coughs didn't stop, he was able to recover enough to take a walk near the hospital on his own.
So, Chang-Won used the excuse of taking a walk to leave the hospital and secretly smoked, avoiding the watch of the nurses and doctors. He lit the cigarette, took a deep drag, and was overwhelmed by a dizzy sensation as the smoke roughly entered his throat. Although it was a mere drag, it felt like the pain caused by forced abstinence from smoking was completely washed away.
Before he could fully enjoy the lingering feeling of that first drag, an unwelcome visitor arrived.
"Mr. Chairman?"
At the person’s sudden appearance, Chang-Won quickly hid the cigarette. However, he immediately let out a relieved sigh and smiled as he identified the owner of the voice.
"Mr. Do-Jin. I thought you were a doctor and was terrified."
"...Do you have to smoke that much?"
"This is my last one, and I’m quitting after."
"I've heard that five times already."
"That's just how smokers are, you know," Chang-Won said with a smile, stubbornly smoking the cigarette.
Do-Jin approached Chang-Won, limping toward him with his crutches.
"Is your body fully healed?"
"I'll have to use crutches for a few more months. Other than that, I'm fully recovered."
"That's a relief. I was really worried about you because of your grave injuries. Would you like a smoke?"
Chang-Won offered a cigarette to Do-Jin. He shook his head.
"No, thank you." "
“Weren't you a smoker before, Do-Jin? You don't have to be cautious in front of me."
"I quit a while ago."
"You're quite the tenacious one, aren’t you," Chang-Won said.
He took out another cigarette and put it in his mouth.
Do-Jin frowned. "You should stop at one cigarette today. You’ll be harming your lungs if you continue."
“I can’t help it. I couldn't smoke for the past few months."
Do-Jin looked at Chang-Won in disbelief and sighed, "Ha..."
"Why don't you use this as an opportunity to quit?"
"I've tried a few times. I failed all my attempts. Quitting smoking is not as easy as it seems..." Updated from novelbIn.(c)om
"It’s still achievable if you have support from the people around you. I quit that way, too." Do-Jin looked into the distance as if reminiscing about the past.
Chang-Won lit his cigarette and raised his eyebrows in amusement.
"Really? Who did you get help from?"
Tak!
Ye-Jin suddenly appeared and snatched the cigarette from Chang-Won's mouth. Then she threw it on the ground. Chang-Won looked at the slivers of smoke rising from the extinguished cigarette with a desolate expression.
Ye-Jin smiled innocently and said, "Me. Should I help Mr. Chairman as well?"
"Your methods are very rough..."
“Most people don’t think about quitting unless I do this."
Chang-Won felt a strange sense of unease as he looked at Ye-Jin's smiling face. Do-Jin also smiled.
"This is the better version. Back when I smoked a lot, she used to bring a fire extinguisher.”
"Aren’t the wet chemicals from the fire extinguisher worse for your body than cigarettes?"
"Oh, she didn't spray the fire extinguisher on me. She hit me on the head with it."
"..."
Chang-Won glanced at Ye-Jin for a moment. Just as she had been doing earlier, she was still smiling innocently.
Do-Jin looked at Ye-Jin.
"But why are you here?"
"Why am I here? You don’t want me here?"
There was one week left before the exam.
I decided to put a hold on practicing spells and experimenting, which I usually did until the exams were over. I didn't have enough stamina or time to do both spell practice and exam preparation. I could practice spells anytime after the exam, so for the time being, I decided to concentrate on studying.
Over the past week, I studied really hard. I spent more than ten hours studying daily, and on days when studying felt like it was going well, I even pulled all-nighters. It was a triumphant achievement driven by the single-minded desire to defeat Ha-Yeon. More accurately, it wasn't that I wanted to win, but I had to win. There was a bet at stake.
Thus, I spent the day studying hard.
"...What?"
I dozed off at my desk while studying, and when I woke up, it was morning. I could hear the sound of birds, and my head felt unusually clear. The breeze coming in through the window was refreshing, and my body felt light. Suddenly, a foreboding feeling surged up. I looked at the clock. It was already eleven.
[Oh no... You’re in big trouble.]
"W-why didn't you wake me up?"
[It's not that I didn't wake you up, but you wouldn’t get up. That's why I told you not to stay up all night, you fool.]
Although Legba's words slightly hurt my feelings, now was not the time to argue with him. I quickly washed up, changed my clothes, and checked my phone. I had a scary amount of missed calls on my phone: eight from Ye-Jin, three from In-Ah, and one from an unknown number. In total, there were twelve missed calls.
Unfortunately, the broadcasting system in the dorms of Area C was broken, so there were no wake-up announcements, and I ended up getting to class very late. As soon as I arrived at school, I went to the teacher's office.
Ye-Jin greeted me with a stern face.
“At this point, you’re just doing whatever you want, right?”
I silently lowered my head.
Ye-Jin sighed. "Do you know how many demerits you have?"
"One point? Oh, now it's two points. Yes."
"You know this is not something to laugh off, right? According to the regulations, you’ll be expelled if you accumulate ten demerits."
"Don't they usually deduct demerits through volunteer activities or something before you get expelled?"
"...Anyway, don't be late next time. I’ll let your tardiness slide today without giving you any demerits."
"Really? You can do that?" I asked, puzzled and taken aback.
Ye-Jin nodded as if it wasn’t anything special.
"You were probably studying late and slept in, right?"
"That's true, but... Yes, you're right."
"Everyone these days studies and stays up very late and ends up coming late to class. And..."
Ye-Jin paused for a moment and let out a deep sigh. Then, with a smile pulling at the corners of her lips, she continued, "You must have been hurt a lot last time, so your stamina must have dropped a lot, right? Studying for exams is good, but think of your body and take it easy."
"Aha, I see... Alright."
"I'm letting it slide as a reminder not to be late in the future. Got it? If you're late again, I won't let it slide."
"Yes."
"Don't just answer well. Go up quickly and study."
I bowed my head to Ye-Jin before heading up to the classroom. That's when Ye-Jin called me over. Suddenly, she told me to sit down, so I obliged and sat down in front of her. She looked at me with a serious face.
"...You don’t feel too tired or want to die, right?"
“Why are you asking all of a sudden?"
"It’s not all of a sudden... Well, if that’s not the case, then forget it. But if you ever feel exhausted, let me know. I have ways to help you," Ye-Jin said, staring sharply into my eyes.
Her gaze seemed to search for insight into my mood and emotions. Perhaps she asked such a question because I had been close with Jun-Hyuk. He had gone missing, no, died from the previous incident. I hesitated for a moment before observing Ye-Jin's expression. Just as I had felt a few days ago, there was a sense of resignation in her gaze. I could also sense a strangely melancholic undertone in her expression.
"You seemed to be more tired than me, Teacher."
When I said that, Ye-Jin's eyes widened. I could see the look of surprise apparent behind her eyes. She was also the type whose emotions were easy to deduce from her expression.
Ye-Jin looked at me with a surprised face for a while. Then she smirked and said, "Tired? Me? Why would you say that? Go and study."
"I asked because your expression hasn't been too good lately."
"You should analyze the questions you’re getting wrong instead of analyzing other people's expressions. Stop doing weird things instead of studying."
"I do study too, you know?"
"See, you’re talking back at me again. If you keep doing this, I might have to give you a demerit," Ye-Jin said with a smile.
I laughed along, bowed slightly, and left the teacher's office. Judging from her tone and expression, Ye-Jin seemed to be considering leaving the school. She might transfer to another school or even give up on teaching altogether. Whether she retired or not was none of my business. There was no need for me to feel upset or sorry about it. To me, F.A. was a checkpoint to become a prelate, nothing more.
Just as Legba once said, no one here could truly be my friend.
I tried to think that way, but it seemed impossible to erase the feeling of disappointment. Whenever my mind was overwhelmed with various things, Ye-Jin constantly tried to talk to and help me. When my room burned down, she even introduced me to the welfare system on campus, such as the dormitory and scholarships.
Looking past her religion, she was clearly a good person. But I wasn't tolerant enough to separate religion from the person. Nor was I in the position to.
My mind was a tangled mess.