Chapter 84

The night was long. It was already midnight, but instead of resting for the long day ahead, Xenia was far too busy overseeing the burial rites of their fallen seer. Beirut didn’t deserve to be buried in a place far away from the castle, but the war had forced their hand, and they had to make do with what they had.

Silently, she stood at attention as the Head Wizard Lurio began the funeral rites. Beirut’s body was covered with the finest length of cloth they could spare, and they’ve done all that they can to properly care for the body. All that was left was for them to properly proceed with the rites, which they had to heavily modify due to being in the middle of a potential battlefield.

It was far from ideal, but instead of burying the body as was the standard for any high-ranking member of Ebodia, it was decided that Beirut’s body was to be burned and his ashes be brought back to the kingdom after the war. It was the practical decision, but it still left a bad taste in her mouth even as Lurio signed off on the plan himself.

“Is this really the right thing to do?” Xenia asked Jayra, her friend tightly clutching onto her side as they stared at the roaring fire in front of them.

“It’s unfortunate, but we don’t have a choice,” Jayra morosely replied. “Burying a body in a place like this could contribute to diseases that we can’t afford to spread throughout the encampment. It also reduces the risk of necromancers desecrating his body. In the end, at least his ashes will be brought back to the kingdom.”

Xenia could only nod at her friend’s words. Still, as she stared at the orange flames consuming their beloved seer to ash, her mind couldn’t help but wander at the storm of events that led her right to this moment.

Xenia couldn’t help but think if this could all be somehow caused by her selfishness and running away. It was a haunting feeling that would forever stain her soul if that was the case. While some might argue that it was simply destiny dealing her an unfortunate fate, she couldn’t help but think that if her disappearance led to a flurry of changes that ended up with Beirut being dead and her still being betrothed anyway, then this all could’ve been avoided.

It could be a cruel twist of fate to mock her, and that wasn’t to mention her own traitorous body betraying her in exchange for cheap thrills and sating its lust while others were already wounded and losing their lives from this war.

As bad as it was to think about during the funeral of someone that was practically her grandfather, her previous deed with Darius only made the shame and regret in her heart multiply tenfold. As much as she wanted to blame her body for her actions, a part of her still knew that she consciously allowed the king to have her way with her.

It was an act so reckless and demeaning for her that she was sure that her parents would never let her live it down. She was raised better than to go to bed with someone she barely even knew, and even willingly at that.

Truly, had she no shame as a Princess? Hell, did she even value her worth as a woman?

“This could all be my fault…”

Tears fell from her eyes as the orange glow of the fires seemed to blur into her surroundings. The grief, the shame, and the utter feeling of being a failure that pooled within her chest all coalesced as the first sobs escaped her lips.

Jayra’s comforting presence did little to ease the pain of her emotions, a deep pit forming within her stomach as the consequences of her actions all came crashing down on her. The anger, the confusion, and the growing feelings she thought she had for Darius, all somehow paled in comparison to the gnawing despair that threatened to swallow her whole.

“Xenia?”

“All… All my fault…”

Three words kept repeating inside her head, her heart seizing up in pain as she curled into herself. The same three words assaulted her senses, her sanity slowly being battered away as it all seemed ready to burst into an explosion of pain and suffering.

None of this would’ve happened if she simply did what she was told. Beirut didn’t have to die… Mineah didn’t have to be married off… Kingdom would’ve been fine, and all would’ve gone on as usual if she had simply done her duty.

But she didn’t.

“Xenia?!”

She didn’t even realize that the arms trying to pull her into an embrace were her friend’s as she screamed. It was too much. By her own hand, she had made her own bed. Her actions had consequences, and only now did it finally sink in.

*****

“Well, we’re here, and it seems that nobody’s home to greet us.”

Riding on her horse, Princess Ezme of the Kingdom of Valcrez arrived at a camp in a mysterious state of disarray. The amount of soldiers roaming the camp seemed less than what she expected, and the Prince of Ebodia didn’t even come to greet her, much less King Darius.

“Apologies for their absence, but the King and the Prince had launched a counter ambush on our enemies,” Lucio profusely apologized, his actions making it clear that he was trying his best to be a cordial host. “They’ll be returning in a few hours, I’m sure.”

“Very well,” Princess Ezme nodded. “Then I suppose I’ll just wait for them to return.”

Leading the rest of Valcrez’s army with her, Ezme followed the wizard’s lead as she let her men settle in within the camp, her eyes carefully looking around to see if something was truly amiss. And that was when she remembered… King Darius’s so-called mate…

“Where’s the Princess of Ebodia? Xenia, was it?” she curiously asked Lucio.

To her surprise, the wizard seemed hesitant to answer her. She was about to press him when he replied, “Princess Xenia is… unwell at the moment. On her behalf, I apologize for her absence.”

“What?”