CH 6.10

“Oh, I guess I was like this back then, too.”

“You were starving. Nonetheless, I noticed that you were trying to eat slowly.

“Really?”

I was trying not to get caught…

I put the spoon that paused mid-air back into my mouth as if nothing had happened.

To be honest, I’m used to seeing Lacius staring at me every time I eat, so it didn’t really bother me, but it was quite a burden at first.

This is why I tried to eat slower.

However, because I was often confined to bed now, I ended up getting used to it.

Lacius always stayed by my side.

“Oh, I feel alive now. I want to have another bowl though.”

“Alright, I’ll order it again. In addition, I’ll order healthy, easy-to-digest food for you tonight, but you should try other foods tomorrow.” 

“Fine, the food made by Maynard is delicious, but honestly, the food made by a professional chef is much better.”

Sorry, Maynard. Sometimes what you make is too salty or too sweet… 

I swallowed the words I couldn’t convey and put the last spoonful into my stomach. Now that I’m fed up, I feel really alive.

There is a moment of silence, and I look back at what I was trying to do before I fainted.

“Oh, right.”

“……?”

“I’ve been meaning to get you a present.”

“A present?”

“It’s an engagement gift. I got a lot from you, so I wanted to give you one as well.

I received a lot from him after all, so this should be fine.

“So I went to the magic workshop, but it was fruitless. I’ll just give you what you want. What do you want?”

“Shay, I…”

Lacius hesitated for a moment, as if speechless. A long time went by, and the clock’s minute hand had already moved four times. As if he had finally made up his mind, Lacius spoke very gently.

“To me, the very existence of you is a gift.”

“…….?”

“The reason I’m breathing, my salvation.” 

Lacius’ blue-gray eyes, as he whispered that, were filled with clear and soft sincerity.

It’s so sweet that I can’t bear to take my eyes off it.

I’m used to rudeness and unruliness, but I’m not immune to this kind of kindness.

“So you don’t have to give me gifts. Knowing that you are well is more than enough as a gift.”

The man I want to marry.

Why are these words coming to mind all of a sudden? What is this trembling that is spreading to my heart?

They said that loving someone is riddled with mystery, and they were right.

“But I wish to give you something, too. Are you sure you don’t want anything?”

When I insisted, to hide the mixed feelings of shame and excitement, Lacius put his hand on my head.

Your recovery is the one gift I need. Eat well, sleep well, and rest well. Simply do those three things.”

Thump. Thump.

It’s the first time someone’s said such touching words to me, so I’m at my wit’s end. I couldn’t look him in the eye, so my eyes turned to the floor. 

“You should sleep more.”

“Yes. What are you going to do now?”

“I have some documents for the trial. I was going to read it beside you, but if it’s uncomfortable, I’ll leave.

“Oh, no. But I want to take a bath, so can you come over after I wash?”

To my words, Lacius made a little ‘ah’ as if he’d realized it only then.

I’ve been asleep for three days, so I’m dying to take a dip in the bathtub.

Lacius smiled, nodded, and stood up.

“Alright, I will call the servants.”

“Yes, thank you!”

I should use cherry-scented bath bombs. Also, let’s put some petals to float.

It had been a long time since I felt so excited at the thought of becoming clean.

* * *

It occurred to me several times; Lacius was a truly devoted man.

Or should I say a nursing genius?

Like a kind of weak young woman, I was quietly confined to bed and served by Lacius himself. I’m fine now, but Lacius put on a very sad expression when I tried to get out of the door. It was such a sad look that I couldn’t even insist on leaving. I was left with no choice but to sketch.

He said I couldn’t do oil painting too, because it’s a heavy job, and there’s just no way for me to refute it. 

“Thinking you’ll be bored, I brought a book of poetry to read to you.”

“Uh… Poetry is…”

“You don’t like it?”

“Yeah.”

Of course, there was also an advantage to having this semi-forced confinement life.

I was starting to understand more and more about the kind of person Lacius was.

‘Sirani.’

What he liked was a love poem from Knight Tulle to his lover, Asiana.

Here, poetry is a song, and a poet is a singer. The melody of the poem becomes the lyrics of the song, and people here tend to memorize well-known songs and poems.

But I just couldn’t stand to hear anybody read it.

That’s right, it was a bit lyrical and kind of cheesy.

Oh my Asiana.

The first time I saw you, I couldn’t get my knees off the floor.

Captivated by your pale green eyes, as beautiful as the buds of a summer day, all I could do was worship you.

Oh, my Asiana.

In your arms, I can be reborn and run to the end of this vast field.

I’ll come back before dawn passes and fall asleep holding you again.

Even if I never return, my Asiana.

Please allow yourself to be happy with someone else besides me.

Instead of having Lacius read it to me, I picked up the book of poetry and skimmed through it myself. In the meantime, Lacius sat beside me holding a knitting cloth, and gently moved the needle.

“The title of the poem is The Last Run. Tulle left after dedicating his last poem to Lady Asiana and never returned.”

“Did he go missing?”

“Some say he ran to the end of the world. Others say he was killed and buried by his enemies, or that he was betrayed and killed by another knight who loved Asiana. The only certain thing was that he has never returned.”

“Then it was a sad story. He really couldn’t come back.”

“People say that Tulle would have been able to return if he hadn’t added that much.”

Yes, you should always watch your mouth. As the saying said; be careful what you wish for.

I closed the collection of poems with <The Love of Tulle> written on it and turned my gaze to Lacius who’s knitting.

“Can I ask what you are making?”

“Ah, I’m making a blanket.”

“I would have never guessed that you had this kind of talent.”