Chapter 592 Talking To God

RETH

They'd been looking for hours when Reth's heart stopped in his chest for a moment. He stumbled on a rock, almost turning his ankle, before his heart galloped ahead as if trying to catch up with itself. Elia gasped, clutching at his neck.Â

"Stop, Reth! You have to rest and... shit, we aren't going to find it, are we?"

"Of course, we will," he growled, plowing forward, though she was trying to slide from his back.Â

"Reth, please!" Her voice was high and desperate. "Let me down! I can walk from here."

She thumped his shoulder and he grunted. But he grinned as well. His mate was finding her spirit again, thank the Creator.Â

He knelt again to let her down to the ground and found it took him a moment to straighten his legs. He arched, stretching his back. Suddenly Elia was there, her knuckles kneading, pressing into his back. He groaned and sighed and she leaned into him.

"I am so sorry… so sorry," she said, her voice tight with frustration and fear. "I never thought it would be like this."

"Love, just breathe," he said, grunting when she hit a knotted muscle.Â

"Breathe, Reth? Really?" she stopped massaging his back and pulled him around by his elbow to face her. "This is it, Reth. Is that not computing for you? This is it!"

Reth frowned. "What's computing?"

Elia dropped her head into her hands and took a deep breath. "I mean, you're not realizing what's really happening. "This is the end of the world—at least, this world—if I don't do this, and I'm going to be thwarted for lack of a map?"

Reth stopped trying to lighten the mood and looked up the trail that kept climbing. Overhead the sky was still dark, but the edges of the mountain had begun to glow.Â

They had an hour if they were being generous.Â

"Reth, I…" Elia trailed off, swallowing, pressing herself into his side. He put an arm around her, his confidence crumbling. An entire mountainside, and no flying scouts, no Protectors…Â

Creator's light, how were they supposed to do this?Â

"I don't know whether to be devastated or overjoyed—isn't that horrible?" Elia whispered. "I was so angry that the Creator asked this of me… now I'm angry that He didn't make it easier—and terrified that I'll fail. I just…" She shivered.

Stomach-churning with fear, and fighting the call to be swallowed by resentment, Reth wrapped her in his arms, dropped his chin so his lips were next to her ear, and began to pray.Â

"We need your help," he breathed. Elia's hands tightened on his sides. "That is… if this is your plan. It seems to be. Yet we don't know where we're going—we can't see what you can see. If Elia is supposed to… supposed to face this, show us the way. Light the path. Please. And give me—both of us the strength. Because…" he hesitated, swallowing. "Because it feels like too much to ask me to plead with you to take her."

He shuddered and her fingers dug into his sides. He heard a tiny whimper, but when she began to speak, her voice was shaky, but determined.Â

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ELIA

Buried in Reth's chest, her body trembling with fear, her heart thudding with anger and terror and self-pity, Elia clung. Everything in her resisted this moment. Everything in her resisted letting go of him—leaving him. Everything.

She gritted her teeth as her mate prayed, fought tears for his selflessness and wisdom—and willingness to continue despite his own desires.Â

​ He didn't want this either, she knew. But he kept walking towards it with a single-minded determination that she both admired, and wanted to slap out of him.

She wouldn't be here without him, both literally, and figuratively, she realized. If Reth hadn't accepted this, if he'd fought it, if he hadn't promised to stay at her side… she wouldn't have been strong enough.

Shame twined with her resentment until her very soul was torn in two.

Then her mate's deep voice, rumbling against her ear, cut through.Â

"…If Elia is supposed to… supposed to face this, show us the way. Light the path. Please. And give me—both of us the strength. Because…" he hesitated, swallowing. "Because it feels like too much to ask me to plead with you to take her."

It was a knife in her heart. Elia had to swallow a cry—and she only did it to save Reth from further pain. His arms tightened on her until she could barely breathe, but she wanted more. She wanted to pull him into herself until they were no longer two people. She wanted to give the Creator the finger, grasp Reth's hand, and run.

And she knew she wouldn't.Â

Couldn't.

But damned if she was going to do this without letting him know exactly what she thought.Â

So as Reth's prayer trembled off into a silent plea, Elia opened her mouth and prayed the bald truth.

"Last time I almost lost my life y-you sh-showed up," she said through her teeth. Reth's hands fisted her in her jacket. "L-last time… you told me th-that you'd never g-give me a purpose I couldn't f-fulfill. And y-you'd never ask me to face it alone."

A whisper in her head reminded her of the strong arms around her, the warm rumble under her ear.

Elia swallowed.

"Y-you gave me th-this. You made this my j-job." She was beginning to growl. "Well… if you want m-me to do it, you'll have to show up. You'll have to show me how! Because I can't know what I don't know and you haven't told us this part!" she was almost screaming into Reth's chest by the end, her voice muffled by the thick furs. But Reth groaned and one of his hands came up to cup the back of her head.Â

"Show us! Dammit! Why would you leave us sitting here, so close, but without the things we need?!"Â

Reth shushed her and held her, his head tipped down to hers until he had her completely surrounded. They were both trembling.

White-hot rage curled in Elia's chest.

This isn't fair! She threw silently at the Creator. You ask us to do this horrible thing, then don't give us what we need to do it?

And suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped in her mind, Elia saw the conversation she'd had with the Creator twenty years earlier, on the day of her daughter's birth…