Home World Command

Sitting at his desk, enjoying his third cup of coffee for the morning, General Jack O'Neill signed the two reassignment orders that lay before him. One of the individuals being reassigned had made a career of being exiled to other postings because of problematic interpersonal conduct and project failures. The second individual being reassigned was about to find himself on the receiving end of payback from an unlikely source.

"Walter, get Kavanaugh in here" said Jack into the intercom.

Moments later Dr. Kavanaugh entered the office, and planted himself in one of the chairs in front of the Generals desk. With a look of disdain on his face Kavanaugh locked eyes with O'Neill, before quickly looking away.

"Thanks for coming in Pete. Can I call you Pete" asked Jack.

"It's Peter actually, and you can call me Dr. Kavanaugh if you don't mind" replied Kavanaugh.

"Ok, Pete it is then. The reason you're here is to discuss the latest incident, and by incident I mean the little episode on Arkos station" began Jack.

"If you're referring to the modifications I was working on for the Jumpers sensors I fail to see why you called me all the way here. Please address me as Dr. Kavanaugh" Kavanaugh replied in a condescending tone.

"Not what I'm referring to Pete. Over the years I've had my run-ins with technology, and most of the time don't trust it and don't understand it. For the life of me though this is the first time I've ever had a piece of technology call me at home to complain about someone. Now are you seeing why I called you all the way here Pete" asked Jack.

"Called you? That doesn't even make sense. Perhaps it's someone with a sense of humor trying to cast me in a bad light" replied Kavanaugh in a defensive tone.

"Not exactly Pete. I've been on Arkos a time or two, and had the opportunity to speak with the AI. He always reminds me of the imaginary friend in that movie A Beautiful Mind, but that's a side point. So Arkos somehow called me at home to tell me just how impossible you are to work with. Do you see how that might be a problem" asked Jack.

"That AI needs to learn to carry out the instructions it's given" replied Kavanaugh.

"That AI as you put it is millions of years old and smarter than you and I put together. If Arkos tells you that you're making a mistake chances are you're actually making a mistake. In this instance Arkos has cordially disinvited you from ever returning to the station. Who knew bouncers were an ancient concept" quipped Jack.

"No computer is going to tell me where I can and cannot go" argued Kavanaugh.

"You have a point there Pete. For the record though I'm the one telling you where you cannot go. From this point forward you will never step foot on Arkos station" replied Jack lightly.

"You can't send me back to Atlantis, and I refuse to work under McKay on Borealis. So let me guess, back to the SGC doing nothing work once again? It's not Pete, its Peter, and please address me as Doctor Kavanaugh" said Kavanaugh.

"I've got much grander plans for you young man. Petey my boy, you are getting an all expense paid trip to the Midway Station, and you're going to stay there for a very long time" said Jack with a smile.

"I wish to file a formal protest to what is clearly a smear campaign against me" rebutted Kavanaugh.

"Go ahead and file away, but keep in mind that that protest is just going to end up on my desk. If it matters you won't be there alone" said Jack with a smirk.

"Not Doctor Lee, he and I hate each other" begged Kavanaugh.

"It's better than that I assure you. Now go sit on the couch and try not to faint. Remember, slow and even breathes save the day" replied Jack dismissively.

Taking a sip from his coffee mug Jack tried in vain to suppress a grin. Flipping to the next folder on his desk he called Walter and requested Colonel Telford be sent to his office. Several minutes later the Colonel entered and took a seat.

"Good morning Sir" began Telford.

"You say that now" answered Jack.

"Has the General had a chance to review my request for reassignment to Destiny" asked Telford.

"This meeting is about reassignment, but we'll get to that in a moment. When I was a much younger man I served with a lot of other officers with very beautiful wives. In my mind they always stayed just that; other officer's wives and therefore off limits" intoned Jack.

"I beg your pardon Sir? I'm afraid I don't understand where you're going with this" replied Telford.

"So the other night I'm out to dinner with the National Security Advisor. We're sitting there discussing a few matters and I'm enjoying my steak when what do I see? I see a certain Colonel under my command walk in. Accompanying this Colonel is a woman I've met a time or two, Emily Young" said Jack.

"I don't deny that fact Sir. Emily and I were having dinner together" replied Telford.

"And you didn't think it was in bad taste to be having dinner with this specific young lady" asked Jack.

"Why would it Sir? She and Colonel Young are divorced after all" answered Telford.

"While that may be the case now it is still in bad taste, don't you think? Let me ask you this; was she divorced the first few times you went over to the Young house" asked Jack pointedly.

"No Sir, she was not. With her husband stranded half a universe away I thought it important to be there for moral support" replied Telford awkwardly.

"Moral support? That's what the kids are calling it now? Where I'm from we call it something different. The Air Force has another name for it also and that is a.d.u.l.tery with a fellow officer's spouse. I'm sure you're aware Colonel that a.d.u.l.tery is in clear violation of the Uniform Code of Military Justice" said Jack.

"So Young convinced you to grind his axe for him did he Sir" asked Telford acidly.

"As your superior officer I'm going to warn you one time and one time only to be very careful how you speak to me Colonel. You're digging a hole for yourself" replied Jack.

"Since accusations are being laid down I'll throw my hand in as well. It is my duty to report to you that I was physically assaulted by Colonel Young during his use of the communications stones. The usage log in the communications room should confirm when he was on world. I wish to press charges" confidently stated Telford.

"Do you really think the fact that he punched you in the mouth is going to get you any sympathy? Were I him I would have tossed you out of an airlock or made you share a room with Rush. Young didn't bring this to me so spare me the attitude. I've been looking for a reason to reassign you elsewhere and you finally handed to me on a silver platter when you walked in that restaurant" said Jack in a gracious tone.

"I know what you'll do and I don't care. You're going to stick me on an SG team and that will be it" argued Telford.

"Oh no, you aren't getting off that easy. Let me ask you something. What do you think of Kavanaugh over there" asked Jack lightly.

"Captain faint heart? He's an anecdote, a punch line" replied Telford with attitude.

"Then you two should get along great. As of now you are both assigned to Midway station as permanent staff. You have petitioned and petitioned for a command and here it is. May the force be with you my son" smiled Jack.

Jack sat back contentedly in his comfortable office chair looking at the two men in his office. First they looked at each other dumbstruck, then at the General. Ah memories Jack thought.