Volume 1 - CH 1

Yunnan, Lijiang Ancient City, Jusan Suiyi Bar1, back doors.

The sound of music around him was quiet, and Yi Wansan2 nervously watched to see if anyone was coming, while urging the two people in front of him: “Hurry up, hurry up!”

These two people are ordinary thieving rat brains. One opened a box on the ground, and has a ring the size of a bracelet hanging from his ear. The other has a pinch of white hair on his head. He crouches and fiddles with the box. Then he stands up with a bottle of foreign wine in one hand. The foreign language on the bottle is not rare in English. At first glance, he loudly reads: “Two bottles of one hundred and two!”

“Fuck!3” Yi Wansan swore, “Why did the price increase? Didn’t it used to be one hundred?”

White Hair looked at him contemptuously: “What’s wrong with one hundred and two? Once you enter the bar, the price is thousands. Can those fuckers who come to pick up girls drink it all? These bottles look so high-grade, so they’re all expensive, okay? And what you want is LTL, not wholesale!”

The bottle of wine does look good, and the packaging has been upgraded. Yi Wansan asked him to verify: “The raw materials have not changed right, don’t use the killing kind of industrial alcohol.”

White Hair felt very humiliated: “Can we do that kind of unethical thing? Our fakes are also conscientious!”

It’s nine o’clock in the evening, and it’s when the bar started to be lively. Yi Wansan coaxed Uncle Zhang to help him temporarily in the bar. He couldn’t delay any longer. After paying the money, two bottles of wine were stuffed in his jacket, and a bottle was clamped under one armpit, and then he hurried them: “Go, go, go.”

The big earring bitterly picked up the box and walked out: “Crossing the river then burning the bridge.”

White Hair also took the opportunity: “Exactly, doesn’t recognize people after changing clothes.”4

Usually, Yi Wansan would be kicked in the ass by someone, but it’s too late now. He trotted through the dark aisle behind him, and his voice must have been heard by Uncle Zhang: “I’m coming. I’m coming.”

After taking two more steps, his eyes suddenly lit up, the light swayed unsteadily and on top of the bar goblets of all sizes were being served. As soon as the top light was refracted, it became vibrant and colorful.

Jusan Suiyi. It’s a bar before eleven o’clock in the evening, and it’s a clear bar after eleven o’clock. It’s not a big deal, but here, isn’t it just a mood to sell?

Uncle Zhang Mu5 was standing in the bar, like an old Beijing opera student who had entered the ballet little swan, but he was out of place. When he saw Yi Wansan, he scolded: “Son of a bitch, did you go to Yulong Snow Mountain to piss?”

Yi Wansan laughed with him: “My stomach hurts, uncle, you have to understand… Besides, didn’t I come back?”

He lowered his body and got behind the bar. Uncle Zhang cursed him angrily again, and then left.

Yi Wansan sighed, turned around and pretended to be tidying up the wine table, and secretly replaced the genuine product above with two bottles of Li Ge under his armpit.

Everything went well. When it was past ten o’clock, Yi Wansan hooked up with a student that was studying abroad. He was cheeky, and the amused girl giggled with a smile like a hen about to cuddle6, and then he made a big move. He took off the bottle of foreign wine with a unit price of 60 from the wine rack, and tyrannically poured half a glass for the girl.

The simple girl was very surprised: “This is so expensive!”

Yi Wansan curled his lips and smiled. You know, it works best to look at a beauty under the light. He was originally not bad-looking, coupled with the lighting effects, is it that good?

What’s more, there was a glass of expensive wine held in his hand.

Yi Wansan handed the wine glass to the girl: “Wine is for beauties.”

After eleven o’clock, there were fewer guests, and the bar became quieter. The affectionate girl was slightly drunk by the fake wine, and half pushed and half followed Yi Wansan to the back stairs. She was taken into his arms in a daze, and then stunned, he had already kissed her, and one unruly hand reached under her clothes.

There was a soft sound of footsteps under the stairs. It wasn’t known which guest came to the back to use the bathroom. The girl was a little shy at first. After thinking about it, in modern society, kissing is the most normal thing. Passers-by should have some common sense to avoid them.

There is no such person.

“Husband!”

The voice was not loud, and Yi Wansan shuddered first. The girl reacted later. She looked at Yi Wansan in disbelief, and then at the person coming down the stairs.

She is a twenty-three or twenty-four-year-old woman with a slim figure, quite beautiful, long hair, a loose silver-gray half-length shirt with a white sling, the lower half of the sling is exposed at the waist line, and the chest is hung with a pendant of feathers mixed with leather and silver rings. The lower half is tight-fitting black denim, brown cowhide half-boots. The whole person leans on the bottom armrest, unsmiling.

The girl stared at Yi Wansan, her voice shaking: “Husband?”

The woman smiled and said: “What’s the matter, didn’t you kneel on the washboard enough last time? But there has been progress. Last time I spent money on a prostitute, this time… at least it was free.”

The girl’s face turned red and white for a while. Speaking of it, she is really not a veteran of romance. At most, she has a simple mind. She longs for an affair to be equal to true love. She didn’t expect to fall into the dung pit at the beginning. That’s called an invincible self-contentment. She slapped Yi Wansan on his mouth, and when she ran downstairs, she could be heard crying.

The woman didn’t care about her either. She walked up the stairs step by step. Yi Wansan’s nervous face turned pale. He subconsciously retreated to the steps and smiled at her: “Little boss, I have something to say… well if you call it that, I don’t dare… Don’t dare.”

The owner of the bar is a woman in her forties, named Huo Zihong7. She adopted a girl, who is the Mu Dai8 in front of him, but the age difference between the two is not too big, and it is not good for the mother and daughter to be so close, so Mu Dai has always called Huo Zihong, Aunt Hong.

Both Yi Wansan and Uncle Zhang are helpers in the bar. The difference lies in the length of time. On weekdays, they call Huo Zihong the boss. As for Mu Dai, sometimes they call her by name, sometimes they call her the little boss.

Yi Wansan is really scared of Mu Dai.

The first time he saw her was on the third day of working in the bar. Mu Dai came back from a trip outside. When Huo Zihong introduced her, Yi Wansan’s heart was full of joy, and he immediately had the dream of conquering the beautiful woman and taking over the bar’s wealth and people.

So he quickly took practical action, and leaned in front of Mu Dai when he was sure, asking questions and sweet words. Mu Dai was also polite, and smiled at him from time to time. Yi Wansan felt that he had a trick, and on an afternoon when the warm wind made the tourists drunk, further actions were launched.

He has some painting skills, a few brushes, and he looked the type. Considering that most girls like literary and artistic guys who can draw and sing, Yi Wansan decided to use his own expertise as a breakthrough.

When Mu Dai saw it, she was really interested, and Yi Wansan sat down next to her, telling her about the near and far distance in perspective when painting. As he talked, he sat closer and closer, seeing that Mu Dai was not disgusted, so he went one step further and stretched out his hand to cover her hand.

This trick comes from the experience of his predecessors and has been tried and tested repeatedly. If she resents it, he will hold still. If she accepts it, he will take advantage of the situation to hold hands.……

How do you know that things in the world are often unexpected, and the next moment, he wailed like a pig.

Mu Dai grasped his middle finger and bent it in the opposite direction. Creatures like humans are sometimes indeed fragile. A 140-to-50-pound body is actually controlled by a knuckle. It hurts. It was only at this time that he realized that this little boss is not easy. Mu Dai didn’t let go. Instead, her strength became stronger and stronger. Her face was the kind of smile that made Yi Wansan’s scalp numb when he saw it from then on.

At that time, Yi Wansan didn’t think much about it, he just told her to let go. The pain came and went in a hurry. The little lady scolded him as stinky and everything, and he stretched out his other hand to hit her, but she grabbed his wrist and twisted it. Tears came out in pain, and he raised his legs to kick her again. She kicked his left and right knees neatly, and fell down with a thump.9

Later, when Huo Zihong heard the movement, Mu Dai let go. Poor Yi Wansan trembled when he walked the next day, and his hands shook and he couldn’t hold a bowl.

Not only did Uncle Zhang not sympathize with him, he also gloated: “You deserve it! Our little boss is not an ordinary person.”

Why is she unusual? Yi Wansan secretly rubbed his heart starting with the first name, her surname is Mu, could it be related to the Mu Family in the history of Lijiang? You know, of all the ancient cities in China, only the ancient city of Lijiang has no city walls. That’s because the wooden characters have walls as “trap”10, so you have to avoid the Mu house.

He told Uncle Zhang about this idea, and Uncle Zhang spit on his face: “Drop it, you, the little boss didn’t have this name at first. When she was four or five years old, she hugged a gentleman who looked at feng shui to tell fortunes. The gentleman said that the little boss lacked wood in the five elements, and the boss didn’t bother to think of a name, so she simply gave her the surname Mu.”

Then how can she do martial arts?

Uncle Zhang didn’t answer. He stretched out one hand, bent three fingers, left his thumb and index finger alone, and made an “eight” gesture.11

Yi Wansan racked their brains to think about any martial arts masters related to the Eight in history: “Is she the descendant of the eight Great Arhats?”

“Bullshit! Our little boss has been practicing martial arts for eight years.”

In modern society, it’s not that you want to win the Olympic martial arts championship. A woman who can eat with her face doesn’t learn piano, oil painting, cooking, and flower arrangement. She has studied martial arts silently for eight years. Why? Is it to deal with shameless people like him?

Yi Wansan shakily argued with her12: “Little boss, don’t get me wrong, we are really in love with each other. When we meet in the vast sea of people, it’s hard to be in love with each other, so I indulged for a while. Young men and women, opposites attract each other, and I didn’t do anything bad…”

Mu Dai smiled, her eyes followed his chest down, stopped three inches under his navel, and went down a little bit, then his face sank and his hands flew towards his crotch.

This poisonous woman! Actually wanting to kick such an important part of him! Yi Wansan groaned, he covered his crotch with both hands, and when he was retreating he tripped over the high steps, and fell on the stairs with his legs crossed.

Mu Dai didn’t kick, she just raised her leg like that, as if doing stretches, and pretended to be surprised and asked him, “What are you panicking about, why did you fall?”

Footsteps came from the top of the stairs, and there was a soft cough, and Yi Wansan’s eyes filled with tears: The savior has arrived.

1 “聚散随意酒吧” (Jù sàn suí yì jiǔ bā ) – Either a bar name, or just some random bar.

2 “一万三” (Yī Wàn Sān) – I’m mostly sure this is probably a name? I’m not completely sure though. Might also be Yiwan San…?

3 “我擦!” (Wǒ cā !) – Literally “I wipe” or similar, it is apparently slang for fuck. The more you know!

4 Original phrase was: “可不，穿上了裤子就不认人.” (Kěbù, chuān shàngle kùzi jiù bù rèn rén.) Apparently Kebu was part of “kebushi” which can mean exactly / just the way it is? The rest… I’m not sure.

5 张叔木 (Zhāng Shū Mù)

6 Original is “逗引的妹子笑地咯咯咯跟母鸡要抱窝似的” – It seems to be a pun or slang…? Best as I can tell, it’s basically calling her clueless, I think.

7 霍子红 (Huò zi hóng)

8 木代 (Mù dài)

9 Original is: “那时候’一万三’也没多想，只是叫她放手，一来二去就痛急了，小娘皮臭三八什么的都骂出来了，另一只手伸出去想抽她，被她抓住手腕拧了个弯，痛地眼泪都出来，又抬腿去踹她，被她干脆利落地两脚分别踢中左右膝盖下头，扑通就跪下了。” I think I got it right, but I’m really, really unsure.

10 木 (mù) is the character in Mu Dai’s name, with 困 (kùn) having mu surrounded by ‘walls’ in the character.

11 八 (Bā) is the character for eight, so his thumb and index would be pointing down.

12 We’re back in the present, if that wasn’t clear!