Chapter 428

Chapter 428

The heady rush of battle drains away, leaving concern and self-condemnation in its wake.Follow current novels on novelb((in).(com)

As much as I often dread it, Ive never felt more alive than in the midst of battle with my heart pounding and mind racing, a primal thrill I cant get anywhere else. Physiologically, the why is easy enough to explain. In response to stress or excitement, the body produces adrenaline, natures little pick-me-up which gives you the extra edge you need in a fight-or-flight situation. It kicks your body into overdrive and unlocks your full potential, allowing you to carry out incredible feats of strength and stamina. For a while, it lets you become more than what you were, hitting harder and reacting faster while your razor-sharp focus renders fear, pain, and fatigue to mere suggestions rather than driving motivations. Its one hell of a drug, but the after-effects are a real bitch to deal with.

While burning off the last of the adrenaline, you sweat like a snowman in summer, yet somehow feel cold all over, but this is only the beginning. Your lungs burn as you pant for breath and the sudden drop in blood pressure and sugar leaves you light-headed and shaky. Colours dim and senses dull, but your mind and heart continue to race, and without a thousand different details to keep track of, you cant help poring over the last few minutes, hours, or days, and fixating on all your failures as you wait for the butchers bill. Should you have insisted on heavier armour for Phoenix squad? Mobility is nice, but protection is better, because even if steel plate is next to useless against Spiritual Weapons or superhuman strength, it still works against the majority of the Defiled. Was it really the best option to have everyone stand here to absorb the charge? If you led your quin riders out to harass the approaching Defiled and baited them into an early rush, then you couldve led them on a merry chase around the plains of Sinuji and left them tired, strung out, and vulnerable to your cavalry and chariots. Or maybe if you figured out how to wield your reservoir of Heavenly Energy, you could give up this farce and have the power to protect your family, your retinue, hell, maybe even the Empire itself.

I dunno how everyone else deals with the post-battle plunge, but redirecting aggression to anxiety is how I manage. There was a time when Baledagh would chime in to console me. What of our glorious victory, Brother? he would ask, before clamouring on about how he gutted one Champion or bested another with child-like glee. At first glance, it comes off as dark and edgy, but after going through the wringer my first time around Sinuji, I sort of understand why. With all the death and bloodshed going on, its almost necessary to focus on the positives lest you become overwhelmed by the negatives. Without Blobbys miraculous intervention, theres no doubt I wouldve gone full Defiled, but Baledagh was how I applied the lessons Id learned but couldnt put into practice. Glorifying combat is one way to deal with all the horrible things we soldiers must face, though I will admit Baledagh was probably a bit overboard. To this day, Im still not sure if I was pretending to enjoy the fighting or actually enjoyed it, but there are lessons I can take from the whole experience. Theres nothing wrong with enjoying battle and bloodshed, I just need to tone down the zeal and be as murderous as Fung, BoShui, or Zian.

Well... Maybe not BoShui and Zian because Im pretty sure theyre both fixing to slaughter their respective Patriarchs. Then again, those Society assholes kinda have it coming.

...Hey, would you look at that. Im already adapting!

My two Healers and their assistants are all hard at work fixing up various wounds and lacerations, and although I could pitch in and help, my presence tends to do more harm than good. Not because Im a terrible medic, but for some strange reason, when Im in earshot, the wounded have a tendency to lie about the severity of their injuries and try to get away with as little treatment as possible. I dont know if its their overblown pride or pure stupidity, but either way, Abjiya has forbidden me from helping out. Whatever respect she has for Teacher, it clearly hasnt improved her opinion of me as the irritable, bob-haired Healer has no qualms against giving me a public tongue lashing should I intrude upon her domain or even glance in her general direction.

I wouldnt exactly call her a bitch, but if Abjiya were from the modern world, shed be a total Karen.

To this end, instead of lending a hand with the injured soldiers, I run over to check on Moomie and friends. Although the actual fighting went off without a hitch, like me, cattle dont seem to be the best at dealing with post-battle trauma. Unhitched from his chariot, Moomie huffs and puffs while glaring at the dead Defiled, scraping his hoof as if the corpses arent trampled enough for his tastes. Standing at his side, Ulfsaar looks tiny in comparison as he strokes the bloody bulls neck, but Moomie could hardly care less. Eyes wide and tail lashing, the massive bovine swings his head to and fro and utters low pitched moans of obvious pain, a scene which breaks my soft, fragile heart.

Am I a horrible person for making Moomie fight? My overabundance of empathy has always been a real problem, but since I can no longer hide away from the world, Ive been working on it the best I can. I still cant slaughter docile animals for food and I have to avoid looking at beggars or slaves else I feel compelled to help, but I no longer memorize the faces of everyone I kill or feel crippled by intense guilt when one of my soldiers die. That said, there are certain aspects of myself I expect will never change, because even if I became the most tyrannical and merciless commander in existence, I doubt Ill ever be able to remain indifferent to an animal in distress.

Two hours later, once the clean up is finished and weve resumed our patrol, I do something Ive avoided for months now. Calling Daxian over, I share my thoughts on integrating hit-and-run quin tactics and ask for his advice. I hate doing it, mostly because of his stupid, smug face and holier-than-thou attitude, but Jochi and Argat know next to nothing regarding tactical warfare and XinYue thinks I can do no wrong and agrees with every suggestion I make. Even if Daxian pisses me off, hes the best candidate to bounce ideas off of, mostly because he delights in pointing out all my mistakes. Keeping with tradition, the pinched-face rat bastard scowls from atop his warhorse as if I suggested he eat shit and says, Hard to say if the benefits outweigh the costs.

As far as his responses go, this one is fairly positive. No name calling, no eye rolling, no muttering beneath his breath, and best of all, no instant rejection. Explain.

Taking a deep breath in preparation, Daxian launches into a lengthy lecture. In pitched battle, your stratagem would undoubtedly be effective assuming the Enemy lacks light cavalry of their own and doesnt have hidden soldiers lying in ambush. While your use of ranged weapons lacks honour and shames me to the core, your suggestion is not a terrible one. It touches upon one of The Three Hunting Strategies of Huang Shaotian, Deception and Control. More specifically, this pertains to Feint East, Strike West, in that you draw the Enemys attention with one force and strike with a second where they least expect it. A fairly basic concept but one deserving of praise when coming from your lips, especially considering how youve probably never touched a tactical manual, much less read one.

This is why no one likes him. Daxian the Virtuous, more like Daxian the Smug, Arrogant, Haughty Bastard, though that probably wouldnt fit on his breastplate.

Enjoying this far too much, Daxian continues, While your suggestion is reasonable, you must understand by now that we are not fighting a simple pitched battle. Though I admit the Bekhai scouts excel at their job, you would be remiss to underestimate the Defiled. They are a canny, cagey bunch, and it wouldnt surprise me if they sprung out around us after weeks of hiding beneath the earth. Here on the front lines, the Enemy can attack at any time and from any direction, which means your suggestion exposes your light cavalry to unnecessary risk. Not only this, it is not a single unified force we must concern ourselves with, but a multitude of uncoordinated tribes and war-bands. What would happen if you exhaust your mounts in one battle only to stumble across a second a few hours later? Disaster, that is what. Grimacing as if it hurts to say, Daxian adds, Youve done well enough thus far against the rabble. No need to overthink things until we face more organized foes, but if youd like to educate yourself, I can lend you my copy of The Three Hunting Strategies. Penned by Li QiYi himself, it includes the great generals personal notes to clarify and expand upon the original work.

Thank you, I say, and somehow, I even sound like I mean it. But perhaps when we go on break. Huang Shaotian mightve understood warfare, but he certainly didnt understand brevity considering he wrote like he was being paid by the word. Ive tried reading his book a dozen different times, but Ive never made it past the first chapter of flowery language and rambling tangents, which is before he even starts in on the idioms and anecdotes.

Then heed my words and I shall endeavour to explain the intricacies of Three Hunting Strategies. Before we speak of warfare, one must first understand...

A man deeply in love with the sound of his voice, Daxian expounds on the art of war while I try not to cut myself. Id tell him to stop, but some of what he says actually makes sense, so I suffer in silence for the better part of an hour until a Sending from Orgaal arrives and I have a reason to interrupt. Well have to resume the lesson another time. Like when hell freezes over. It seems we have allies to the north in need of assistance. And thank the Mother for that. Another hour of Daxians lecturing and I mightve shit out a Spectre or five. I cant cleanse people of snobbery, but Im more than willing to hold him underwater and try until he stops kicking.

God I hate Daxian so much if only I didnt respect him too.

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