Chapter 409: Respite

Chapter 409: Respite

Its only the morning of the fifth day during our first foray on the front lines, and already Im dealing with a crisis of epic proportions.

Not a great start, but if you look at it another way, I went a whole four days without disaster, so overall, not too shabby.

Despite going to great lengths to be ready for any and all possibilities, evidently my efforts were not enough. Then again, what could I have done differently? Its not like I didnt foresee the possibility of this happening, but all the planning and preparation in the world cant insulate me from simple human error. Short of keeping a cloud-stepping Expert solely dedicated to this one task, I see no other way I couldve avoided this particular pitfall, but unless I reveal more than Im comfortable with, theres no way to secure the services of said Expert. My hands are tied on this, so its not my fault things went south so quickly. Sadly, those responsible are not here to suffer the dire consequences of their actions, leaving me and my retinue holding the ball.

Were all out of shrimp, which means King Pong will not be happy.

Hoping to soften the blow, Ive laid out a veritable feast of seaweed, fish, and dried fruit for him to feast upon, but the adorable turtle tyrant is not so easily won over. While Mama Bun and Blackjack noisily snack away at the offerings, Pong Pongs tiny turtle head swivels back and forth in search of his daily dose of shrimp, but alas, the familiar wooden box is nowhere to be found. Eyes narrowed and lips pursed, Pong Pong turns his attention towards me and my heart skips a beat. Mouth dry and smile strained, I launch into my prepared explanation. I know, youre asking wheres the shrimp?, and let me tell you, Im wondering the same thing. Im fairly certain he doesnt understand human language, but Pong Pong is smart enough to learn a few key phrases. Shrimp sits firmly at the top of the list, his eyes widening and mouth opening upon hearing his favourite word. So adorable, but it looks like I must disappoint. Look little buddy, were a long ways from the Azure Sea and its hard to keep food fresh. We shouldve had enough to last us the full ten days, but they were starting to spoil so I fed it all to Ping Ping last night. Judging by his huff of anger as he glares at his titanic wifey, her name is another word Pong Pong understands. Wholly unintimidated, Ping Ping continues feasting on smoked fish and cabbage beside us, which only serves to infuriate little Pong Pong even more.

Scooping the angry turtle into my hands, I stroke his head to soothe his anger. The tension gushes from his body beneath my gentle ministrations and my butt-cheeks similarly unclench. With the crisis averted, I let out a small sigh of relief and chuckle at the sheer absurdity of my situation, held hostage by a gluttonous Divine Turtle who could turn me into meat paste without lifting a finger. Granted I dont think he would, but knowing he could is enough to make me think twice about disappointing the little lord turtle.

Hes lucky hes so damn adorable...

I shouldnt have mentioned Ping Ping, not while talking about a subject as sensitive as shrimp. As much as Id like otherwise, their relationship has yet to blossom into the fairy tale romance Id once envisioned. Divinity or not, its hard to say how smart Pong Pong really is, but his mentality can best be described as that of a selfish seven-year-old child. Maybe its because shes strong enough to threaten him or maybe hes insecure about his size, but Pong Pong treats Ping Ping as more of a rival than friend, always glaring at her during mealtime if shes around. Its a good thing Ping Ping is a sweet and gentle soul, paying the small-but-fearsome turtle no mind, else I might have a battle of the turtles on my hands.

Or maybe shes too scared to glare back. So sad. I was so excited for mixed-baby quasi-divinity turtles and Id also like to know how strong Ping Ping is compared to Pong Pong. Everyone thinks shes close to Divinity, but if that were the case, then why does she need the Protectorate to look after her?

Thanks to my maxed-out head-scritching skills, Pong Pongs anger soon abates and he acquiesces to dining on something besides shrimp. Hopping out of my hands, he promptly begins devouring all the smoked fish and shredded cabbage in sight, leaving the dried fruits, seaweed, and other miscellaneous foodstuffs untouched. I cant tell if its a coincidence hes eating Ping Pings favourite foods or if hes targeting them on purpose for revenge, but either way this outcome is preferable to sitting ringside seats at a turtle tussle. Magnanimous as always, Ping Ping doesnt bat an eye, probably because shes used to sharing food with Mama Bun, Blackjack, the quins, and the laughing birds, so one more Pong Pong isnt much.

It also helps that for every one of her bites, Pong Pong needs like a hundred to match it. It might be my imagination but the big girl almost seems amused by his attempts to steal her food, sitting there with a smug glint in her eye as she savours every mouthful while Pong Pong chomps away at maximum speed. Along with the rhythmic crunching emitting from Mama Buns cheeks and Blackjacks squeals of delight as he goes to town on a chicken leg, this symphony of gluttony sets my mind at ease and lets me forget all my worries, if only for a moment.

Pets are so much work, but I cant imagine going a day without them. I dont know what I was thinking trying to quit floofs cold turkey, but Im glad Pong Pong, Mama Bun and Blackjack tagged along on this pointless and stressful excursion. The quins and laughing birds arent affectionate enough to satisfy my cuddle quota, but Blackjack sitting on his bum while hugging a drumstick twice his size is all it takes to recharge my floof batteries to full.

He eats like people. Its the cutest thing ever!

Unfortunately, all good things must end. Their bellies full and bladders empty, Mama Bun collects Pong Pong and hops into my embrace while Blackjack climbs atop my head, all three of them ready to go back to sleep. Spoiled pet jokes aside, I cant blame them considering the sun has yet to rise, not to mention we have four days of hard travel behind us and six more ahead. This will be the last day we spend marching west and tomorrow well turn around and head back for a week of rest, relaxation, and defending Sinuji from errant Defiled before repeating this entire futile and meaningless exercise once again.

What fun.

Thus far, its been all skirmishes and night raids, which means weve mostly kept to ourselves. Aside from the daily check in, weve seen neither hide nor hair of the advanced scouting parties moving parallel to our position. Why the Defiled dont group up and target one of the smaller scouting parties I couldnt say, but the Enemy doesnt seem too concerned about minor issues like winning or losing. From what I can tell, they care more about fighting for the sake of fighting rather than winning the war.

Then again, I doubt itll matter. The Western Province is filled to the brim with new recruits just waiting to go full murder-hobo...

Thus far, theres been no sign of the recently turned, as the Defiled have all been of the sand-dwelling variety, a human-leather turban-sporting bunch who like to go shirtless and show off their warped, discoloured torsos. It makes their women look particularly revolting, but luckily, both genders care enough to cover their shame and spare everyone the sight of their withered nether regions. Apparently, this is thanks to some unholy concoction they slather themselves in to protect from exposure out in the barren deserts of the West. Aside from giving their skin the colour and texture of porous, desiccated stone, the concoction also makes it tougher than rhino hide, but their partial-nudist tendencies means they also shy away from body armour, making them that much easier to kill. Tough skin is easier to deal with than the iron breastplates, like the ones Yo Ling armed his Butchers with, so Ill take it.

Sounds good, Team Leader Song. May I still call you Martial Aunt in private?

Her ears aflutter, Li Song solemnly grants me permission with a stately nod. If that is all Commander, then this Team Leader shall depart.

Ah fuck it. Just say it. Ah, one more thing. Though her back is already ramrod straight, she somehow straightens up even more, her eyes widening ever so slightly in alarm. Too late to abort now. Ive noticed Dragon Squad has never taken the second night shift. Why is that?

Ah. Obviously nervous, Li Song shifts and places Mama Bun directly between us before answering, This Team Leader took it upon herself to arrange things so. As the commanding officer, I thought it would be best if you remained as well-rested as possible.

The sentiment is appreciated, but unnecessary. Stopping myself before I pat her arm, I awkwardly lower my hand and continue, I wouldnt ask my soldiers to do anything Im not willing to do.

Blinking in surprise, Li Song slowly nods and says, Yes... You wouldnt.

After a few seconds of agonizing silence, I cough and scratch my neck while carefully choosing my words. If only I could destroy the chain and Li Songs Oath along with it, but that would only tie us together permanently. Er, thats all I have to say. I should get to supervising. Perfect. No commands or demands at all, leaving her free to do whatever she wants.

Yes Commander. As she marches off, I realize Im staring at her butt and avert my gaze, but the sight has already been engraved in memory. Less peach and more pear, her curvy posterior sits nicely atop two shapely thighs, an enchanting sight if I ever saw one. With her striking green eyes, long, braided ponytail, flawless, olive skin, and ample bosom, Li Song is a stunning beauty and exactly the type of woman I used to dream about. While Lin, Mila, Yan, and Luo-Luo are all beautiful in their own way, and I love the first three with all my heart, if were talking physical appearance and nothing else, Li Song is the only person I know who checks all my boxes.

Tall, leggy, toned, and busty. Perfection...

...

Well... Akanai and Yuzhen also fit the bill, but thats it.

...

Dammit, Alsantset is also exactly my type, as well as Tanaraq and Tursinai, but I could never see any of them like that. Especially Tursinai, shes too cheery and sociable for us to ever have a relationship. Plus, shes married. And more than a little crazy.

...

Now that I think about it, Zians mom is also my type. For a human woman, shes really kept things together. Shes older than Zians uncle, but when they stand next to each other, they look more like father and daughter than brother and sister. It would never happen, but wouldnt it be funny if we got hitched? Id be Zians step-father and Jia Yangs brother-in-law. God, it might be worth it just to see the looks on their faces when I tell them the good news...

A piercing whistle puts an end to my indecent daydreaming as I track the source, a modified, blunted arrow used by the scouts to provide advanced warning to the camp. A clever piece of work if I say so myself, though it was harder to craft a working prototype than I thought. I should send word to Charok when we get back to SuiHua, Im sure hell have plenty of advice to offer -

Focus, idiot. Were under attack. A big one too, or else Jorani no, Erkin wouldnt bother waking the entire camp. Finally, a real challenge. Maybe this time, therell even be a decent Champion to test my skills against. Oh, and I should also practice my Beyblade Aura, and maybe even shoot someone with Unity. So many things to practice and so few targets, trials and tribulations abound.

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