Chapter 289

Chapter 289

Mmm... Is that it?

My little wifeys disappointed tone sends a lance of pain through my heart, illogical though my reaction might be. Well... yea. Were you expecting something different?

Lin tilts her head to the left, then the right, as if trying to get a better look. I dunno, she says after considering my question. I thought itd be bigger, ya? Can I take a closer look?

Oof. No man wants to hear those words, no matter the context. No, youre fine right where you are. Besides, how big does it need to be? Shes oh so sweet and lovable but her unrealistic expectations are downright silly. I mean... its the biggest one Ive ever seen. Truth be told, Id hoped itd be bigger too, but such is life.

Still unconvinced, Lin shakes her head and answers, Me too, but still... Its not just the size. Its not pretty. I dont like the colour, or how lumpy it is, and why isnt its head round and smooth? Its pointy and scary looking, I dont like it. Her cheeks puff up in an adorable mini-tantrum, disillusioned by the truth and unwilling to accept it.

Well... youre not wrong. The long delay really built up expectations, but the reality of our situation is rather disappointing. At least Tali and Tate are enjoying it. Perched atop their parents shoulders, the adorable twins shout and holler in a fruitless attempt to attract the distant, giant turtles attention. Its hard not to smile seeing them so hard at work, shouting promises of sweet treats and warm hugs for the giant luggage lizard. Thankfully, Ping Yaos Guardian Turtle cares nothing for the promises of children, or more likely it can't hear them from over a kilometere away. Basking in the mid-morning sun, the turtle is so motionless it almost blends into its riverside surroundings. If not for Guard Leader's sharp eye, we might've walked right over it and never noticed.

Until it moves and eats us, but whatever. We're safe here... probably.

Far from the gargantuan behemoth I was expecting, Ping Yaos Guardian Turtle measures two elephants wide, two elephants long, and about one and a half elephants tall. While certainly large, its a far cry from the city destroying monstrosity Lin and I had envisioned. Instead of a smooth, round shell, its dark, greenish-brown exterior is jagged and pointy, forming an oddly satisfying pattern of orderly spikes running along its back and sides. As Lin already mentioned, its leathery head ends in an intimidating hooked beak, sitting half-opened as if showing off the pointed, flesh-rending mandibles. While turtles are notorious for their lack of speed, its meaty, muscled limbs make me leery of putting that theory to the test, on land or in water.

Thats no turtle. What we have here is clearly an armoured dinosaur on steroids.

Honestly... This world is freaking terrifying.

Sadly, Blobby has no reaction to his alleged monster-child. No reaction to anything for that matter, merely floating about the void like an inanimate object and ruining my dreams of riding to war atop the coolest mount ever. It was a long shot anyways, even if the turtle owes its longevity and size to Blobby, whos to say it remembers him? Whats more interesting than the turtle itself is the turtles territory, a beautiful, untouched bamboo grove supposedly spanning over eighty square kilometres. Although the turtle rarely leaves the riverside, land predators are so frightened by its presence they refuse to come anywhere near its stomping grounds. Even Mafu and the other roosequins were reluctant to follow us deep into the grove to say nothing of sweet, cowardly Aurie and his siblings.

This strange development has led to a dearth of land-based creatures in the area and a thriving tree-top ecology comprising some of the most adorable tree-dwelling creatures Ive ever seen. Mischievous monkeys and clumsy pandas are a common sight, as are squirrels, chipmunks, martens, and minks, but its the oh so lovable and curious red pandas whove captured my heart. Peering down from their treetop perches, their red-and-white furred faces are a delight to behold while their bumbling antics endear them to all. Only Alsantsets strict guidelines keep me from taking to the treetops and capturing an entire fluffy pack of the adorable bear-cats to bring home, with no amount of pleading glances able to change her mind.

Apparently, I have too many pets (an opinion I wholeheartedly disagree with), so unless its 100% certain the creature will die without my intervention, Im not allowed to adopt them. Like every other creature in existence, these red pandas are a fiercer variant compared to what I'd expect, able to fight off predators with their greater numbers. This combined with their pack mentality means there are no fluffy little orphans for me to adopt, a most disheartening outcome. Its almost enough to make a grown man cry.

Well... This animal-loving grown man, at least. Theyre so fluffy, I wanna pet and cuddle and love them. Is that too much to ask for?

So far, I'm pleased to say our little outing has gone off with no major incidents or disturbances. After leaving Baatar and the Northern army to eat our dust, we encountered no hardships or catastrophes while making our way to the outskirts of Ping Yao. After a night of camping at the roadside, I left most of my retinue and pets behind and proceeded with my family on our trip to see this most underwhelming Guardian Turtle of Ping Yao. Im not gonna lie, I was a little nervous with only Wang Baos hoodlums and Guard Leaders less than reassuring presence to keep us safe, but things are going smoothly aside from one tiny hiccup. Having long since woken from her food-induced coma, Mama Bun happily made the trip nestled in Lins arms, but about an hour ago, the stupid buck-toothed rodent struggled out of my wifeys embrace and bolted off to follow her nose, heedless to any danger as always. Less worried about her safety and more concerned for the well-being of nearby Spiritual Plants, Taduk followed Mama Bun off into the wilderness, but not before telling us to continue on without him.

Worried for my air-headed dreamer of a teacher, I tried to follow along but they were both too fast for me to keep up. Say what you will about his goofy nature, but Taduk is speedy, disappearing into the underbrush in the blink of an eye. In retrospect, I shouldnt be so surprised by his Martial prowess. I mean, traditional Healing is widely accepted as the most complicated application of Chi usable without an Awakening and my Teacher is the best of the best. You dont become a Medical Saint through popular vote, though Im still not clear on what the actual vetting process involves. Either way, Taduks no slouch in the Chi control department which means hes probably okay running around on his own. I hope he stays safe and comes back soon, preferable with Mama Bun intact. Problem is, I wouldnt put it past him to roast a haunch or two and blame her injuries on the local wildlife. As hes said many times before, the only thing he likes about rabbits is the taste.

Considering its inactive state, even Tali and Tate soon grow bored of the turtles non-antics and we begin our four-hour hike back to the campsite, with Wang Baos hoodlums scattered around us in a protective ring. With her chin on my shoulder and cheek pressed against mine, Lin and the twins sing a song I taught them, something about walking five hundred miles and da-dat-daahs, whatever those are.

I swear, I remember the most useless things.

After almost half an hour of da-dat-daahs I grin wryly and say, Glad to see youre no longer upset over the tiny turtle.

Lin giggles and hugs me tighter, leaving Tali and Tate to their endless song. Well, even if it didnt swim or move, at least we can say we saw it. Wish we couldve gone closer though, it wouldve been fun to stand on its head, ya?

Not a spectre in sight.

Baledaghs answer isnt surprising, but I have to be sure. And youre certain they were only Tainted and not Defiled?

Couldnt have done anything about it if they werent. Offering me a mental shrug, Baledagh asks, Why does it matter?

Because even though they were never wholly Defiled, being Tainted might have... I dunno, improved their talents or something. An increase in... Chi sensitivity or an endowment of aptitude.

So? We knew this already, sort of. All Defiled know how to fight, its part of the whole murderous cannibal package.

Baledaghs starting to sound like me, which I'm not thrilled with, but Ive other things on my mind to deal with at the moment. Except that these guys are an argument against that. You dont have to be Defiled to learn how to fight like a Defiled. If we can figure out how and duplicate it, then we could raise massive armies of Martial Warriors in record time.

Okay, Baledagh says with yet another mental shrug. So where do we start?

...No clue. Whatever, its food for thought. When Baledagh devours the Spectres, maybe a part gets left behind in the Tainted, and that helps them train. Hard to say considering Lang Yi and his cohorts are the only highly Tainted people Ive come across who were also civilians. Everyone else was a military or martial figure of skill.

With all these wild thoughts and half-baked theories running through my head, I spend the rest of the day and most of the night tossing and turning in bed, so much so that Aurie and Mafu each voice their protests. Giving up on sleep, I set up a bowl of water for my daily Elemental practice. While Ive yet to succeed in controlling water, I refuse to give up. Im so close to being an awesome mage, even if its merely a water mage.

I can do cool stuff with water... right?

...

Whatever, its better than nothing.

Immersing my hands in the water, I circulate my Chi throughout my body, guiding without directing, controlling without holding, moving without thinking. This power is mine to use so long as I hold it, and the water is but an extension of my body. There is no beginning or end, only a -

Boss. Boss! Shaking me out of my meditative trance, Ravils eyes hold an emotion Ive never seen from him: fear. You need to come see this.

Leaving Aurie and Mafu curled up together on the bed, I step out of my yurt and close the door. Okay, so whats the big never mind. Got it.

Barely an arms length away stands the Guardian Turtle of Ping Yao, peering down its nose at me with its dark, beady eyes. Its hooked beak opens wide as it unhinges its jaw, stretching taller than I stand from foot to head. The fetid stench of rotten fish and spoiled meat fills my nostrils as it lets loose with an earth-shattering scr-

No, scratch that.

Its more of a high-pitched moan, like a happy sigh or air leaking from a balloon. It's cute and totally doesn't fit its image.

Having said its piece, the turtle closes its mouth and settles down beside my yurt. Only now do I notice my lovely wifey laying atop of the giant turtles head, as if it were a quin or wildcat. Hi hubby, she says while clinging to its head in a full-bodied hug. Which do you think's a better name, Ping-Ping or Yao-Yao?

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