Chapter 160

Chapter 160

It makes no sense. Exhaustion hangs from me like a cloak, but fueled by righteous indignation, I grind the herbs in my makeshift mortar and pestle while struggling to grasp Lei Gongs explanation. Because of one Demon and like, fifty Defiled, the Imperial Army is going to swoop in and kill everyone?

Wincing as he shrugs, Lei Gongs shoulders slump as he patiently waits for treatment, his chest oozing black sludge as the Demons corrosion eats away at his flesh. Not quite, but ye have the broad stokes. Many will die in the interrogation process, thats what happens when a Demon turns within the borders. To be Defiled is a sickness, one impossible to detect unless they lose control, or the person in question is suitably advanced in the usage of chi.

His horrendous stench aside, the old man is praiseworthy, yet to complain about the agonizing pain. Hell, I got a little on my skin from our little hostage hug and that stung like a bitch. I dont know why the Demon didnt use it on me, but Im thankful all the same. Okay, so you cant detect if someone is Defiled, but it doesnt mean they can justify indiscriminate murder.

Sighing mournfully as he sips from his wine skin, he shakes his head. I dont disagree, but what other choice is there? Ye tell me Laughing Dragon is Defiled and I believe ye, but its difficult to accept. Hes been operating around here for decades, the Firebrands infamous for almost five years now. Ive met the man more than once, laughed with him, shared his food and drink, and never in ten-thousand years would I have suspected him of being Defiled. He seemed like a good man, for a bandit. His eyes glass over as he scours his memories, suspicion and regret clear as day. He hid in plain sight for years, and where there is one, there are others. How many more might be afflicted? Hundreds? Thousands? If allowed to spread and grow in numbers, they could threaten the Empire from within, something we cannot afford in these trying times.

Pausing in my work, my accusatory glare goes unnoticed as he drinks. So what? Better to kill ten-thousand innocents than to let one Defiled escape? Its lunacy. If I keep everything secret, the Sentinels will back me and the former bandits are expendable, Id only have to take care of one, old man who might already be dying... Ah, tricky bastards. Shut up and leave me alone.

Fucking Spectres.

Ignorant of my homicidal thoughts, Lei Gong strokes his singed beard, his fingers rubbing the bare skin. Such is the way of the world. Even a single, undetected Defiled in the right place can cause irrevocable damage to the Empire, causing cities to fall and armies to perish. Its happened before and Mother help us, itll happen again.

The steady grinding of stone against stone fills the silence as I concentrate on finding an answer to our problems. From Baledaghs daily reports and the small glimpses I got when he was in trouble, I know he could sense the Defiled. Maybe thatll work. Wholesale slaughter is not an acceptable solution... What if there were a way to detect the Defiled? Would it change things? I just need to explain how I can sense the Defiled and why I cant teach anyone.

I should give up, its not worth all this trouble. Im nothing more than a worthle...

God-dammit. Now theyre moving on to self-pity? My greatest weakness...

Even if such a method existed, the army wouldnt care. Their way is tried and tested, yers not worth the risk, not with the Defiled already bashing at our doors. Yer young and idealistic, but thatll change. Yell get to see first hand how the army roots out the Defiled, happens a few times every year, always real quiet-like. Tilting his head back, he drains the rest of his wine skin, his throat bobbing as he gulps down the potent-smelling liquor. Almost a full minute passes before he empties the skin and closes his eyes with mournful sigh. Maybe yell understand when theyre done, but I wouldnt bet on it. Watching pleading grand-parents and crying children turn savage in the blink of an eye, transforming into Demons once all hope is lost, it changes ye... Takes a long time before ye can trust anyone afterwards. What's worse is those who don't turn, the look in their eyes...

His haunted voice speaks of personal experience in these matters, and I bite my lip to keep from asking, working in silence as he deals with his private anguish. We all have our inner demons, and a little quiet and self-introspection is good for the soul. As he reaches for another wine skin, I note that lots of alcohol also seems to help. Doesnt seem like the healthiest way to handle things, but if it aint broke...

Hell, I could use a drink or five myself.

I mean, fuck... Baledagh is Defiled and Im some Demonic Spectre or something... No one should face this shit sober.

It takes another hour before I finish treating Lei Gong, slow going since I keep almost falling asleep. The corrosive fluid is nasty stuff, left untreated, Lei Gongs flesh and organs would have dissolved into black sludge, killing him slowly over a period of days. The treatment isnt too effective to be honest, not much in the textbooks regarding Demonic Corrosion. I flushed the wound with water and packed it with an herbal paste I concocted through trial and error, which might slow down or even negate the corrosive effect. The rest is up to Lei Gong to fix, my treatment little more than buying time for him to heal with chi.

My job done, I gather the cubs and lead them away from the smelly old man, his body odour only a step away from being weaponized. Waiting nearby, Ravil hands me a massive bowl of stew and a stack of travel bread, patiently waiting as I dig in ravenously. Nodding in thanks, I speak with my mouth full while the cubs bounce around, begging for scraps. Report. Dammit they're cute. Please be small bears, my bed is cramped enough as it is.

The bald, dark-skinned bully sergeant salutes lazily, almost mockingly. I should teach him a fucking lesson, I deserve respect. Ugh, no. I told you guys to cut it out. Dont make me go in there and rattle your cage. All our scouts have returned safe and sound, no signs of the Defiled. The Demons trail leads north by north-east, but we only tracked it for an hour before turning around. Should I send scouts to alert the army of the Defiled outbreak?

No, not yet, I need time to think things through. If I send the report in, then Im consigning thousands to death. There has to be a better way. I bet I can handle this myself, get the Mothers Militia to help me gather up the villagers and inspect them one by one. Id have to convince Lei Gong to keep his mouth shut about this but it shouldnt be too hard, he seemed distraught when talking about the purge.

We've cremated all the civilians aside from the girl, Ai Qing. Unused to being sympathetic, Ravil stammers, I thought youd like to uh... say goodbye.

Putting my hand on his shoulder, I speak as gently as I can. Baledagh, that body out there isnt her, its what she left behind. Ai Qing is gone, she doesnt care what happens to her body. This funeral is so those who knew her can take the time to honour her memory and mourn her passing. I cant do that, Baledagh. I didnt know her. She has no one to speak for her except you.

His shoulders shake as he grips my hand tightly, burying his face in the pillows. After a short cry, he sits up and wipes his eyes, sliding off the bed slowly. Taking a few deep breaths, he nods once and steels himself, his jaw set and eyes wet. Okay. Im ready now.

Brave little warrior, always ready for a fight. All right, lets go say goodbye and wish her safe journey, wherever that may be. Cry, scream, do whatever you need to, Ill be right there with you, unless youd prefer to do this alone.

Shaking his head without looking at me, his voice is quiet and subdued. No, please, stay with me.

Of course.

With one more deep breath, he steps into our body and takes control while I follow along beside him, taking a backseat inside his emotions. His grief is palpable as he stares at Ai-Qings body, his arms tightening around the little cubs, seeking comfort in their soft fur. Warm tears fall from his eyes as his shoulders shake, a hollow emptiness emanating from his chest. Whimpering softly, the heart-wrenching sound which pierces through me. I keep forgetting how little life experience he has. I came in and took over when he was twelve, and he remembers nothing before that. With me around, hes floated through years of life, with only brief glimpses of my life in his waking moments. It took four years before he was strong enough to speak out, and even then, he was never in control. Out on his own for less than a month and he fell so deeply in love, I don't know if I'd call that lucky. It might be puppy love, it might not, but either way, the pain is all the same.

After a few minutes, his tears subside, though his body continues to shake. Unable to comfort him, I speak softly. Why dont you say a few words?

At my prompting, he stands and gingerly strokes her cheek. Im sorry Qing-Qing. I couldnt protect you. You were scared, so you left, and thats my fault. I didnt realize how difficult it must have been for you, a young woman out in the world with a stranger. When I told you about your village, I should have thought to bring you to see them, or reassure you and make you feel safe. A lump forms in his throat, choking me as the tears begin anew, but his voice remains steady, determined. I failed you, but I will find you in the next life, and I will do better. Then again in the next, and again, and again. I will spend ten-thousand lifetimes protecting you, loving you, cherishing you, and then ten-thousand more, even if you never return my affection. His arms tremble as he lifts the blanket to cover her face. Rest peacefully in the arms of the Mother, and move on to your next life when you are ready. There is no need to wait for me, we will be together. No matter the cost, I will gladly pay it. Stepping back, he crouches down and lights the torch in one strike of the flint, tossing it at the base of the pyre. Gathering the cubs in his arms, he sits down to watch as the flames grow slowly, consuming the wood and flesh before him.

Feeling awkward during what should be a private moment, I say something to make myself available. That was a beautiful eulogy. Im sorry for your loss. From what youve told me, she would have fit right in with Lin and Mila.

A sad, half-smile forms on his face. Liar. Mila would have beaten us bloody for coming home with another woman.

True, but she wouldnt have held it against Ai Qing. Rewarded with a small, sobbing chuckle, I continue. You dont have to stay for this, I can handle the rest. Burning corpses are not pretty to look at. Or smell.

Hiding behind his cubs, he shakes his head in denial. I need to see this through. She was all I had. I have nothing now that shes gone.

Ah dammit... Now I feel even guiltier for taking his place. Thats not true. Youll always have me.

...Thank you brother.

Anytime... Brother. Defiled or not, I mean it. Well figure this out together.

Subsiding into silence, we watch the flames together, Baledagh grieving as I remain available to him, wracking my brain for a solution. I cant keep usurping his place, there has to be a way we can both live full, happy lives. I mean, ignoring the ramifications of splitting up for now, if I can regenerate whole limbs, how much harder can it be to make a new, separate body?

...Probably really, really, really hard.

Nothing is ever easy.

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