Chapter 351 Sleep Queen

Chapter 351 Sleep Queen　　If you like music while you read, try "Carry You" by Ruelle + Fluerie. It's what I was listening to while I wrote this!

*****

~ ZEV ~

"Yhet, she hasn't eaten. I don't suppose—"

"I brought stew," Yhet mumbled and turned to a small stool on the side of the room where a cast iron pot had been placed with a thick fur over it. 

Sasha thanked him as he dished her out a bowl—this one still warm—and she sat on the edge of the bed peppering Yhet with questions about what had happened since she'd been gone. 

But her eyes were dropping and her chin kept dropping as she chewed. Until even Yhet's brows went up and Zev turned to see that Sasha sat, her spoon in one hand, the bowl in the other, just beginning to tip because she'd dozed off.

"I'll take care of it, Yhet," he said gently, barely able to restrain himself from taking her in his arms. "You go get some rest. And thank you."

"I'm so glad she's back safely, Zev," the male rumbled. "Take good care of her."

"I will." He patted Yhet's back as the male ducked to stoop out of the door, then closed it behind him. 

Hurrying over to the bed, he swept the bowl out of her hands and put them aside as he gathered her up, lifting her to his chest.

She woke when he did. "Zev, you don't have to—"

He shushed her and nuzzled her temple as he walked her around the massive bed and laid her down. "Let me take care of you now."

She sighed and was obviously about to protest. But when he laid her down, her head immediately tipped to the side and her body went slack.

So Zev undressed his mate as gently and quickly as he could, then pulled the furs over her. When she was curled up like a child in the bed, the furs snugged up over her shoulder, he stood there for a moment, just watching her and listening to her slow breaths, combing her hair back from her face. 

"I love you, Sash," he whispered, too quietly for her to hear. "I love you so much it hurts."

She murmured something, turning her face into his hand and he stopped, swallowing hard, until she stopped moving and her breath was even again.

He didn't take his eyes off her as he undressed, letting his clothing drop where he stood. He couldn't bear to put any more space between them. So he didn't bother to try and clean anything up, only crawled across the end of the bed where her drawn-up legs left a massive space, then peeled back the furs to crawl in behind her.

She'd fallen asleep right on the edge, so he snaked a hand around her waist and pulled her back from it, into his chest.

She came awake again, gasping, eyes wide. "Zev?!" 

"Shhhh, shhh, it's okay. I'm here," he murmured, nuzzling her neck. "Go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you. I just didn't want you to fall out during the night," he whispered.

Sasha snorted and turned her head to find his lips, softly, lingering. "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered. 

"Me too," he breathed back, pushing up slightly on his elbow to lean over her, hold her chin, and kiss her. Then, reluctantly, he released her and urged her to stay facing away from him and to sleep.

She muttered something about controlling males, but was asleep again in the next breath, so Zev was left leaning over her, smiling, his chest aching just because she was so beautiful.

Once he was certain she wouldn't wake again, he nestled down under the furs behind her, curling himself around her, his lips on her hair, and tried to sleep himself. He was exhausted too, and quickly sank into sleep… only to gasp awake again before an hour had passed.

Gulping down air, then snorting it out of his nose, he sat up abruptly, his body trembling with the urge to fight, to defend.

But there was nothing there.

Sasha hadn't woken from his startle, and he was glad, staring down at her for another long minute, forcing himself not to stroke her hair. 

Then he took a deep breath through his nose and it hit him all over again.

Nick.

The compound.

The breeding arena.

His past. 

Every way he'd failed.

Every way he'd been deceived.

Every way he'd been harmed.

Every way he'd walked into his own destruction.

His heart raced, his pulse sky-high, and he forced himself to lay back down, to breathe through his mouth, to try to slow it. 

But every time he closed his eyes his body was convinced a predator stood over him, and every time he opened his eyes he came more awake.

After twenty minutes, he gave up. 

He would not leave Sasha, but he would watch over her. If he wasn't going to sleep, she was going to get the rest they both needed. So, crawling out of the furs, he shifted quickly and turned to face the door. 

Resting his chin on his paws, he sighed heavily, praying that he wouldn't wake her. That somehow they'd get some time the next day.

He needed her. But he needed to not need her so much. Their people needed both of them more. Their people needed their attention and their decisions, and their very, very best efforts.

He couldn't resent that she had given the last of her energy to the females. He would have done the same. 

He just wished that his heart would slow and he would stop feeling afraid every moment he didn't have his eyes on her. 

And he wished that the forces in their lives that were so insistent on tearing them apart, destroying them, would just fuck right off.

And he wished the Creator who cared about people like Sasha would protect her better. Because he was doing everything in his power, and he was afraid it still wasn't enough.

He didn't sleep again that night. But he did rest.

And he didn't leave her side.