Chapter 235 - Not Giving A F.u.c.k Does Not Mean Being Indifferent; It Means Bring Comfortable with Being Different[2]

When most people envision giving no f.u.c.ks whatsoever, they envision a kind of perfect and serene indifference to everything, a calm that weathers all storms.

This is misguided. There's absolutely nothing admirable or confident about indifference. People who are indifferent are lame and scared. They're couch potatoes and internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people often attempt to be indifferent because in reality they actually give too many f.u.c.ks. They are afraid of the world and the repercussions of their own choices. Therefore, they make none. They hide in a grey emotionless pit of their own making, self-absorbed and self-pitied, perpetually distracting themselves from this unfortunate thing demanding their time and energy called life.

My mother was recently screwed out of a large chunk of money by a close friend of hers. Had I been indifferent, I would have shrugged my shoulders, sipped some mocha and downloaded another season of The Wire. Sorry mom.

But instead, I was indignant. I was pissed off. I said, "No, screw that, mom. We're going to lawyer the f.u.c.k up and go after this asshole. Why? Because I don't give a f.u.c.k. I will ruin this guy's life if I have to."

This ill.u.s.trates the first subtlety about not giving a f.u.c.k. When we say, "Damn, watch out, Mark Manson just don't give a f.u.c.k," we don't mean that Mark Manson doesn't care about anything; on the contrary, what we mean is that Mark Manson doesn't care about adversity in the face of his goals, he doesn't care about pissing some people off to do what he feels is right or important or noble. What we mean is that Mark Manson is the type of guy who would write about himself in third person and use the word 'f.u.c.k' in an article 127 different times just because he thought it was the right thing to do. He just doesn't give a f.u.c.k.

This is what is so admirable — no, not me, dumbass — the overcoming adversity stuff. The staring failure in the face and shoving your middle finger back at it. The people who don't give a f.u.c.k about adversity or failure or embarrassing themselves or shitting the bed a few times. The people who just laugh and then do it anyway. Because they know it's right. They know it's more important than them and their own feelings and their own pride and their own needs. They say "F.u.c.k it," not to everything in life, but rather they say "F.u.c.k it" to everything unimportant in life. They reserve their f.u.c.ks for what truly f.u.c.k.i.n.g matters. Friends. Family. Purpose. Burritos. And an occasional lawsuit or two. And because of that, because they reserve their f.u.c.ks for only the big things, the important things, people give a f.u.c.k about them in return.