Chapter 146

146 Chapter 146 Your Sins Are Mine Too

′′ Surprised? I’m not that attractive anymore right? I’m sorry to disappoint you, but this is not a rare scene in my life, I wonder what disturbs you the most, is it seeing me covered in blood or seeing that I actually enjoy taking the lives of others? ′′ Desmond’s voice snapped me out of my daze but listening to what he was saying I couldn’t help but feel a fit of inexplicable anger.

He spoke as if he didn’t feel anything when he killed others, but the guilt in his eyes was difficult to hide, his words seemed more aimed at making a mockery of himself than at actually asking my opinion, And the way he looked at me . . It is as if he had already decided how I was going to react to everything that happened.

′′ Unlike you, I assassinated these people being fully aware of my actions and enjoying every moment of it; Don’t you think I’m horrible? This is the kind of sinner that I am Sasha. ′′ Desmond did not stop his cruel speech one bit as he tried to wipe the blood from his face, but no matter how much he spoke, he did not stop shaking as he realized that he could not clean the blood when his hands were covered in it.

SLAP!

Being unable to hear him anymore I couldn’t help but slap him in great anger and reply:

′′ Shut up, you have no right to talk about yourself like that, not while you desperately try to cleanse the blood from your body while you tremble, not while the agony that consumes you is so clearly shown in your expressions; I can’t deny that I was disturbed by the smile on your face as you fight, but it didn′t make me feel as bad as I feel right seeing you in this state.

Are you a sinner? So what am I? Do you really think I don’t know you killed them for me? Why even if they had not intended to **** me you would still have killed them for the simple fact that they had discovered my identity, to keep me safe; In that case, what am I Desmond?

Doesn’t that mean this massacre. . . did this blood spill because of me? You know Desmond, I’m not good at anything other than alchemy, I don’t have good social skills, I’m not good at cooking or cleaning, I can’t fight without setting fire to everything around me and I can’t be like you who can easily create plans to achieve your goals. . . Besides being a great alchemist, I am practically useless. . . but at least I can share your burdens if you allow me, share your sins; you don’t have to carry it all alone. ′′

By the time I finished what I had to say, I was out of breath, tears were streaming down my cheeks and I couldn’t hold myself back for another second and just dive into Desmond’s arms, I didn’t care that he was covered in blood; I was an alchemist I had seen a lot of blood in my life even if it was not human blood, at this moment all I wanted was to give even a little comfort to the man in front of me.

.....

Desmond seemed stunned and somewhat lost in what to do for a moment, but after hesitating for a couple of seconds he put his arms around my waist, and as he leaned a little to hug me tighter he whispered a few words in my ear.

′′ You are truly the dumbest, most considerate, and kind girl I have ever met; if you don’t plan on leaving me even after that then someone will have to kill me to let you go. ′′ Desmond’s words were filled with kindness and tenderness that he had not shown me until now, as for me? I couldn’t express the happiness I felt hearing his conviction to keep me by his side.

But how could I know that the only woman Desmond had truly loved in his life had previously spoken words unbelievably similar to mine and had offered to share their sins and burdens the same way I did.

The other thing I wasn’t aware of at the time is that the bandit group that had just been killed by Desmond originally consisted of 6 men and that the sixth man who happened to be the team’s scout had witnessed it all until he saw their leader fell and decided to flee in the direction of the city; As for what consequences that would bring, only the future would tell.

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′′ Come on, let’s go home, I would love to clean up all the blood and have some tea; maybe even eat something. ′′ In the end, the good times have to end and it was Desmond’s voice that pulled me out of my moment of joy, but seeing around us covered in corpses there was no way I would ask him to hold each other just a little longer.

After Desmond retrieved his two daggers he ask me if we should dispose of the corpses to which I replied simply by unsheathing the wand that I hide in the sheath on my thigh and ignite the corpses on fire.

Desmond just smiled bitterly as he watched me set the corpses on fire, for a moment I thought he didn’t like what I did, but he later explained to me that actually he also had a pretty decent affinity for fire but was actually not very skilled at its use; Desmond said that in the first place he did not devote much training to controlling fire mana because from the beginning he did not feel inclined to depend on an element as destructive and unpredictable as fire.

At his explanation, it was my turn to smile bitterly in response, as I understood his concerns being myself a person with a tremendous affinity for fire and a magician who specialized in its use.

Not wanting to talk further about it, we simply made our way home, it didn’t take us too long before we reached the cabin safely and as soon as we stepped through the door we both let out a weary sigh of relief.

′′ Well I guess I should wash off all this blood, don’t you think? ′′ Desmond said as he pointed to himself.

Seeing his blue eyes still a little heartbroken and the forced smile on his lips I couldn’t resist the need to do something about it; so despite my better judgment I still went and jumped over a trap that I had already fallen into in the past.

′′ Do you want me to help you wash the blood? ′′