CH 35

Pandora’s Box

I choked so hard that my nose and throat burned. I almost coughed to death.

It took me a while to recover and I said angrily, “Ke Luo, you fucker, you want to kill me!”

Ke Luo said seriously, “I’m serious. I’m not joking.”

I was shocked.

Staring at each other in silence, I suppressed my urge to veto it. I calmed down and tried to chew on his hypothesis.

I never thought about not saying anything. However, as soon as I was reminded and thought about this carefully, I realized that there were many similarities between Ke Luo and Lu Feng.

It was simply that no one would think about it and head towards this direction. Because of the huge difference in their auras, this inclination was covered in a layer of mist. Now that the clouds and mists were artificially blown away, the similar features they shared gradually became clearer.

Their eyes, noses, chins, and even the way they raised their eyebrows were exactly the same. Ke Luo was like a younger, brighter, and more normal version of Lu Feng after removing blackening traces and applying a thick layer of youthful, sunlight filter. This was before Lu Feng who had yet began to undergo dark metamorphosis.

This wasn’t me cursing him = =

“Don’t you think?” he said, “I’ve thought about it for a long time. How can someone treat me so well, take care of me so carefully, and keep me by their side for no reason? It doesn’t make sense. There is no sense of showing affection without a reason. I asked him and he said it was because he knew my dad, my dad was his former…”

We looked at each other and said in unison, “Friend.”

The essence of human beings was to make friends from out of nothing and this was the truth.

I thought about it again. “But if you put it that way, Cheng Yichen has been nice to me for no reason too.”

He also considered it as well. “Then maybe Cheng Yichen is also your father?”

“…..= =” What the hell was this = =

I picked up the laptop and tried to wack him, but Ke Luo immediately raised his hands and surrendered, “I’m kidding!”

Even if he was kidding, I was going to explode. If Zhuo Wenyang was my younger brother, it would be a mess.

“But seriously, don’t you hate him? In any case, he’s been extremely reckless as a father. He at least owes your mother and you an apology, right?”

Ke Luo lowered his lashes, “How could I not hate?”

“From the time I learned how to think and felt hatred, I hated him. Others didn’t dare mention my dad and didn’t dare to answer my questions about him. I could only piece together his appearance in my head. I imagined the future, standing in front of him. I’d imagine how I would declare war on him and how I’d retaliate against him.”

He continued, “But when I actually met him, it felt completely different.”

He stopped talking and there were incomprehensible emotions presented on his young face that I couldn’t decipher.

After a long silence, he asked, “Do you understand? Sometimes, the feeling of hating someone isn’t as easy as just hating.”

I didn’t quite get it, at least not yet.

He sighed and said, “I sometimes think I’m worthless. Sometimes, I call him Dad in my dreams.”

I immediately felt sorry for him. I never thought that such a simple and cheerful person would hide such complicated, forbearing emotions.

“Why don’t you talk to him about it?”

Ke Luo sighed again, “If he wants to recognize me, then I don’t need to go to him at all. If he doesn’t want to recognize me, then if I confront him, it wouldn’t make any sense. I’ll just end up embarrassing myself.”

“…..”

That was true. If you took the initiative to show your cards and recognize your relatives, but the other party denied the relationship, what would you do? No one could bear that.

He was not a tadpole looking for its mother.

Ke Luo leaned onto the back of the sofa, staring at the high ceiling, “He probably thinks I’m not worthy. I’m so far from him, maybe I’ll never be able to be a man like him.”

“…? Where are you unworthy?” Why did you have to look up to Lu Feng? What was there to yearn to be like Lu Feng? Wasn’t it good to be your individual self?

“I don’t deserve it,” Ke Luo lightly said, “If a person like him has a son who isn’t qualified, maybe it’s better not to have one at all.”

“Don’t think about it. You are good enough and I think he cares about you obviously, doesn’t he?” I said, “Maybe he just feels ashamed and doesn’t dare to confess to you?”

Ke Luo showed a somewhat confused expression and after a while, he asked, “Do you think words like ‘ashamed’ and ‘doesn’t dare’ apply to him?”

I was also immediately perplexed.

Us two were relatively silent for a moment. After a while, Ke Luo smiled and said, “Don’t worry about me, it doesn’t matter. Regardless, I have always failed.”

“Huh? You still call this a failure?”

It was true that his childhood was miserable, but with such a face and figure, no matter where he went, passerby’s would stare at him with an envious expression. He played basketball well, gamed well, and was also a talented student at T University. He also attended UCLA and held enough shares that allowed him to eat and drink without worry. If this was a failure, then I wanted to have this failure too.

I angrily countered, “What failures have you experienced? Tell me about it. It doesn’t count when we didn’t win stuff when we played the claw machine.”

Ke Luo smiled and said, “To tell you the truth, I haven’t had a good, serious relationship so far now.”

“That’s fine, all of us are single. You’re only a single person because you look down on others, not because others look down on you.”

Ke Luo shook his head, “No, it’s really because others look down on me.”

“They dare?”

“My first love was due to this. The person I liked rejected me mercilessly.”

I was shocked, “How bad is her vision?”

“It’s not about her eyesight. It’s because she already has someone else in her heart,” Ke Luo raised his eyebrows, “but the person she likes wholeheartedly is just average.”

“Then, how beautiful is she?”

Ke Luo smiled and said, “She is very, very gentle and kind.”

I could roughly understand this. Children who grew up in such an environment like us had no resistance to gentle and kind characteristics.

After a while, Ke Luo said again, “Actually, until now, I’m still emotionally troubled. It might be a bit dull to talk it out, but would you like to listen?”

“Yeah, yeah!”

I was in good spirits. I liked listening to other people’s love stories the most.

“When I was in LA, I met a person who looked very similar to her.”

“Oh?”

“We met in a bar, that type of bar, so…”

“Did you get into contact?”

“Mm.”

I gave a meaningful, “Yo.” I couldn’t tell that this guy had good game.

“I noticed this person because she looks similar to her, but in fact, she has no similarities other than her face. She is very mature, experienced, very playful, and has a hot temper. But the other is very shy and introverted…”

“Wait, wait,” I was a little dazed, “This one is her, the one that came and went. I can hardly tell who is who. You can at least give me a nickname so I can distinguish.”

This guy’s storytelling ability was far worse than Zhuo Wenyang’s!

Ke Luo hesitated. I could see that this was his first time talking about his secret thoughts with someone. It was obviously embarrassing for him to use real names so he said, “Then, let’s use A and B as references.”

“That’s too terrible,” I commented, “White roses and red roses? Lilies and red roses?”

Ke Luo looked at me blankly, “…this metaphor is inappropriate.”

“Isn’t it appropriate? Isn’t one pure and the other seductive?” I already imagined the old love as the beautiful, reserved white moonlight and the new love as the beautiful, seductive red rose.

Ke Luo was dumbfounded for a while. He reluctantly said, “Then, one Little White and the other Little Red?”

I instinctively thought of elementary school students’ compositions again.

“All right, all right,” I gave up convincing him, “Don’t worry about the name and just keep talking.”

He really had more to learn from Zhuo Wenyang and study hard.

“At that time, I was still depressed from being heartbroken. No matter how I tried to resolve this myself, I was still depressed and had daily nightmares. Suddenly, when I met her, it was like discovering painkillers. Before that, I was very depressed and only then, could I feel happy again and the nightmares stopped. I couldn’t stop looking for her,” he said, “I was very happy during that time.”

“Are you just dating? Or are you planning to date her?” I asked, “The relationship that starts with dating is usually friends with benefits. You’re not serious, are you?”

He shook his head and said, “I don’t know. In fact, Little White had a serious talk with me and said she and I are impossible. She said that I’m not actually in love with her. She said I just can’t get what I want and won’t let go. She asked me to find the right person and have a serious relationship. When I really experience love, I will understand.”

He continued, “I always hated this statement. I couldn’t help myself and kept wanting to find Little Red, but also felt very contradictory.”

“It’s okay,” I said, as someone who experienced this, “It’s okay to just have sex; there’s nothing wrong with this. Isn’t separating sex and love what a man is good at? Of course, if it’s a long-term relationship, it’ll be more complicated and needs more discussion. But is she showing signs of being attracted to you?”

He thought for a while, “Doesn’t seem so.”

“Did she confess to you?”

“No.”

“And does she enjoy your, uh, adventures?”

Ke Luo seemed a little embarrassed and replied, “Seems so.”

“Then, there’s no problem. If you get along, get along well first. Adulting, having mutual benefits, and having tacit understanding. Wait until the relationship develops first and then let nature take its course.”

“However, one day, Little White came to LA on a business trip and visited me on the way. Although I knew she was only bringing me some domestic souvenirs, I was still very happy. Yet, I didn’t expect her to bring her boyfriend too,” he sighed, “I can rationalize everything but some things are visually hard to take, and certain words act like sticks and guns and are harsh to listen to. Before my wound could even heal, I was struck again and it was very painful.”

“So you went to Little Red to relieve your pain?”

“Mm.”

I used to sound like that, but now I seemed to be the master of feelings and could see things more transparently. So, I said, “Actually, it’s pretty good. If you can have her as painkillers, it’s also a type of fate. Aren’t you just waiting for the right dose of medicine to cure you for life? Look at Lu Feng. Isn’t Cheng Yichen his medicine? Once the medicine is stopped, he will go crazy, but once the medicine is available, he will be saved.”

Ke Luo said, “…you just rely on this big house so Uncle Lu can’t hear you.”

“Hey, hey, hey.”