Chapter 1 - BEG

Life's best three teachers–heartbreak, empty pockets, and failure.

...

Thunders roared as the rain poured from the sky, washing up all the heat that has been plaguing the summer. The earthy scent of petrichor wafted in the air. People scuttled away like mice to take shelter from the rain. But a weak woman braved the rain and knocked at houses to beg for help.

Qin Jingyi pounded at the door like a madman. A moment later, a burly man opened it and asked angrily, "What do you need?"

The woman who was drenched with rain stuttered as she spoke, "Please help—my moth—mother—She—!"

"Leave!" the man bellowed and pushed her out of the door before she could finish her sentence. She fell on her bottom and felt the moist ground when her hands tried to cushion her fall. With the impact of the fall, there was excruciating pain radiating from her bottom up to her spine. Her wounds from the beatings she received from the guards haven't healed yet and added to her dilemma. Tears suddenly sprung out her eyes as the feeling of being aggrieved swamped in her.

Qin Jingyi clenched her fist. Wincing in pain, she stood up, wiped the tears that were falling from her face and walked to the next door.

"Please help my mother! Please" she begged but nobody opened the door even if she could see people's silhouette from the window.

"Help!" she yowled with her voice mingling with the sound of rain and thunder. While she thumped on the door, tears were rolling down on her face.

Her hopes rose when a door opened but instantly shrank when the woman chided angrily, "Why should I help you?"

"Please—just help my mom!" She kowtowed profusely which resulted in the botch of red appearing on her forehead.

"What benefits would I get for this?" The woman scoffed. The woman was aware of her identity. When she saw Madam Qin days ago, she immediately recognized her and sent a letter to the capital. Any minute, the Imperial guards will arrive. The palace will give a hefty reward if Prime Minister Qin's wife and daughter would be captured. Just thinking about the reward made her happy. So, she didn't want to be punished for helping this despicable family.

"Go away!" The woman banged the door on her face.

Feeling defeated she turned away. Qin Jingyi looked up at the sky and let the raindrops fall onto her face, washing all the stains that marred her once beautiful face. Now, it's just full of scars. The elegance she used to carry around was no longer evident. She looked gaunt and her hair lacked all the luster.

Nobody could have ever thought that the once unreachable Lady Qin had been reduced to a beggar. The almighty Qin Family has fallen to the brink. The newly crowned emperor issued a decree. The Qin Family has to be executed. Their crime, abetting rebellion and colluding with the enemy to murder the previous emperor. The 2nd Prince who became the Emperor had forgotten that it was his wife's family, the Qin's that helped him achieve his goal. He even divorced his wife and married his favorite concubine on his coronation day.

That same evening, Prime Minister Qin, the previous Emperor's right-hand man was executed in front of everyone. Her siblings and relatives were beaten, tortured and dismembered.

Jingyi and her mother were spared because one of her brother's men were able to sneak in prison and let them flee. However, he sacrificed himself so they can escape unscathed.

At this moment, she felt nothing but that gnawing numbness. Watching her family member executed one by one was like a poison slowly sipping into her veins, tormenting and giving her nothing but paralyzing pain.

"At least for poison, there's an antidote. This one? None."

Because everything will be forever etched in her mind. Her father's mournful begging to spare the younger children, her sister's frightened screams and her brother's torn expression as he watched his wife and children killed in front of him. Jingyi felt nothing but regret.

And as if the gods weren't contented playing with her. They were able to escape and took shelter somewhere away from the capital but Madam Qin suddenly became gravely ill. She collapsed earlier. She suspected her mother was poisoned. But with no silver at all, how could she ask the doctor to cure her.

Jingyi felt tightness in her heart, remembering her ill mother. Unsure of what to do next, she stood from the ground and puttered on the dirt road. With her shoulders hunched down, she looked like a tiny lost kitten.

"Where are you going in this rain?" An elderly shouted.

Jingyi hurried to her door and told her the problem. After listening to her, the old woman limped as she entered her house in haste and returned with a tael of silver. She placed them on her hands.

"Here, bring this to the village doctor and call him."

Jingyi looked at it feeling embarrassed but thinking of her mother, she accepted and grasped it like it was gold. She used to spend money like it was nothing. Realizing it now, having no money to buy what you need is really horrible.

"Thank you, grandma." politely, Jingyi thanked the old woman.

"Don't be so polite. Now, hurry and go." she smiled, showing her toothless mouth. At the same time, her mottled skin touched her shoulders as if she was telling, it's going to be fine.

The gesture made her tear up and sniffed in between sobs. What she's doing now is a favor she will never ever forget in this life.

"Go" the woman prodded. Hence, Jingyi scampered off the house.

At this moment the rain stopped, but it left the road muddy and the scent of dewy night hung in the air. A weird thought passed her head when she noticed two pairs of prints leading to the tiny shack where she and her mom were living now. Her heartbeat raced as she entered the wooden house, making the floors creak. At the door, the hairs on her arms and nape stood for unknown reasons. The feeling of goosebumps intensified with the smell of something in the air. The sheer curtain that is being swayed by the half-open window added to the eerie feeling.

Jingyi stood rooted to the floor when her eyes landed on her mother's sorry state. She was suspended on air, the chair which she used to hang herself was flipped down onto the floor.

"Mother—mother—mother!" Her clammy hands reached for her feet and they were so cold.

"Did you hear that?" A man's question made her jump in fear.

She hid behind piles of wood and hugged herself tightly so as not to be seen. As their footsteps closed in, beads of sweat appeared on her forehead. Jingyi saw two silhouettes but can't see their faces. There was a loud thud followed by a weird sound. Unable to sustain her curiosity, she peeked. Color was instantly drained from her face and she stifled the scream that escaped her mouth. They were stabbing her mother like they were butchering animals. Their laughter reverberated in the house. It was so unbearable that she turned back, crouched in a fetal position and covered her ears.

I'm sorry mom. She repeatedly chanted.

What seemed an eternity, the movements stopped.

"Go find the woman. The emperor said we need to bring her head." His cold-blooded words sent chills down her spine.

For the second time, she felt the knife plunged in her heart, breaking it into pieces. The new Emperor was her husband who divorced her on his coronation day. Jingyi's muscles quivered and she gritted her teeth in anger. He was the man who promised the moon and the stars to her. Like an idiot, she believed him. Her happy ever fantasy was shattered right on their wedding night. But she refused to believe so she spent her glorious years making him fall to her. She went as far as poisoning his concubines.

Is this my retribution? She asked herself many times.

When Jingyi heard no movements, she took the opportunity to jump out of the window. However, she was seen.

"There she is!"

Instantly, adrenaline rushed in and she scurried away entering the forest. All she wanted was to flee. So even if her legs were hurting from running and her arms were gashed by thorns from the shrubs, she ran for her life.

When she was distant away, she stopped to catch her breath. She reached the cliff without realizing it. Down below was the wide expanse of sea.

Suddenly, waves of nausea assaulted her. After a few seconds, she was on the ground writhing in pain. It was hot. It felt like there were thousands of insects hissing and biting inside her body, tormenting her. The pain was too unbearable. Moments later, blood filled her eyes and her mouth.

Poison.

But how was I poisoned?

The purplish discoloration on her hand answered her question.

It was the silver. The realization was like a bomb that landed her heart one after another, blowing her heart into a thousand holes. She thought the woman was an ally. It turned out, she was wrong.

"She wouldn't have gone far. The poison would have reacted by now." she heard a voice said somewhere.

Feeling unresolved of her end, she used whatever ounce of energy left in her and threw herself into the sea.

Her body rolled, then touched the water. The coldness of the ocean sipped into her clothes and she trembled. At the same time, sharp pain pervaded inside her body, grinding every inch of her flesh and bone. Slowly, blood flowed out everywhere. Her eyes, mouth, nose, and ears. The poison was slowly taking over her senses. Her eyes filled with despair and unwillingness, were watching as the flurry of rain come streaming from the sky.

She cursed him. She cursed the heavens. But it was only the waves and heavy rain that stood as witness to her stutterings.

Why? She questioned her fate.

Why have they fallen to this degree?

Was her family's death the price she has to pay for loving him?

After sometime, her vision slowly turned blurry. Her consciousness was being pulled out of her brain bit by bit. Her eyelids were getting heavier each seconds passed. Not long after, she was no longer breathing.