Chapter 33: Live and Let Die

Name:New Vegas: Sheason's Story Author:
Chapter 33: Live and Let Die

Good morning Mojave, and it's looking to be a lovely day out there in the wasteland today. You're listening to Radio New Vegas, and this is Mr. New Vegas, bringing you the melodious sounds of the world before. Got some Dean Domino coming up later on in the program, but right now it's "Let The Bright Tomorrow In" by that starlet of sweet, sweet music, Vera Keys.

"You sure you guys aren't gonna get too bored while I'm gone? I mean, I'm just going down to Novac, so I shouldn't be too long, but if you guys want to tag along..." I asked Veronica , but she just smiled and shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. We all have plenty to keep us busy up here for a few hours while you're off finding a brain." The way she seemed so accepting of the idea that I needed to find a dog so I could give it's brain over to Doc Henry... All I could do was shake my head.

"I still can't believe I have to find a dog's brain. When the fuck did my life get so weird?" Veronica just shrugged.

"I dunno, but I'll be honest - finding a replacement brain for a cyberdog? Not the weirdest thing you could be doing. Hell, there's some weird shit I've had to do for the Brotherhood in the past... not that they'd ever find anything odd with it." Veronica shrugged, and just smiled wider. "But what can you do? Just take it in stride, and keep smiling. That's what I do!"

"I envy you for that." I turned to ED-E floating next to me. "So, what do you say buddy? You following me?" ED-E bobbed in the air and chirped happily. "Alright, cool. Let's get the fuck out of here." I started walking toward where I'd parked my car, but before I got too far...

"Hey Sheason? Head's up!" I turned just in time to see a large burlap sack hurtling through the air straight at my face. I felt myself grimace, and I leaned back quick as I could; the sack seemed to follow my face before I reached up and snatched it.

"What the hell, V! What's this?" I asked. She just looked surprised - and pleased - at me.

"That was a nice catch. And that is a sack full of microfusion cells. Should keep the car running for a good long while." I looked in the back, and it was indeed full of MF cells - and a few small energy cells, and I think one electron charge pack.

"Thanks. I didn't think you'd actually be able to find anything, to be honest."New novel chapters are published on

"Hey, it's me!" She pounded her chest and gave me a thumbs up. "Give me enough time, I can find anything. You can owe me later."

"I'll keep that in mind. C'mon ED-E, let's get out of here." With a mechanical chirp, ED-E followed me as I made my way to where I'd parked my car. Before I got a chance to leave however, I heard a voice try and get my attention.

"Hey, Courier! Hold on a minute!" The voice I heard was gravelly, but not like a super mutant. It was the kind of destroyed-vocal-cords you got from ghouls. I turned around just in time to see a female ghoul with thin wisps of red hair, grey pants, and a brown leather jacket walking towards me.

"Yes? Can I help you?" I asked. And then it hit me - it took me a minute to recognize her without the labcoat. "Hang on, you're Henry's assistant, aren't you?" She nodded.

"Yeah. I was wondering - can I hitch a lift? The doc asked me to pick up a few materials for Rex's operation - and the Stealth Boy Mark II test - and I gotta go down into the valley to pick them up. Nevermind that it'd take me the better part of two days to get down there and back on foot, he only just told me this morning."

"Sure," I said with a shrug, checking the map on my Pip Boy. "Westside's on the way, so it won't be any trouble. I'll drop you off wherever you want, pick you up after I find a, er... brain. Sound good?" She nodded and I got in the Corvega. "Alright then, get in."

ED-E sped off ahead of me before I'd ever got the car started. When we got underway, clear of the Jacobstown gates and onto Kyle Caynon road, I decided to try and make conversation with my ghoul passenger.

"So, I never did catch your name back in Doc Henry's lab," I said. "I'm Sheason. You know, so you don't have to keep calling me Courier, right?"

"Well, it's nice to meet you Sheason," the ghoul rasped. "I'm Calamity."

"Calamity?" I asked. She nodded. "That's an..." I paused, searching for the right word. "... interesting name."

"Why thank you," Calamity smiled, what little there was left of her lips cracking and pulling taught. "I picked it myself."

"What? Wait, what?"

"Yeah. I change names and jobs every decade or so. Keeps things from getting too boring. I picked Calamity this time because I thought it sounded nice. And as for being Henry's assistant... I've never really done much science stuff until now, but apparently I'm pretty good at it. Or so the good doctor tells me."

"That... makes sense. I guess. For a minute I thought your parents had named you Calamity." She shook her head.

"Nah, they weren't big enough hippies to do that. Probably. I'll be honest, I don't really remember what my original name was."

"What, really?" I asked. "You don't know your real name?" She just shrugged.

"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. And a ghoul by any other name would look just as hideous." She brought a leathery hand up to her mouth, and made a noise; I wasn't sure if it was a laugh or a cough. Now, I had to admit... she had a point. Not that I'd ever say something like that out loud or to anybody's face. Still, I hate it when someone starts slinging insults their own way, and... well...

You know when you have one of those awful moments where it feels like there's a loose connection between your brain and mouth? And by the time you realize what you're saying, it's already come out, and you've already said it? And then you just take a step back and think to yourself: "That just happened. That was me saying that. That seriously just came out of my mouth."

This was one of those moments.

"Hey now, don't put yourself down, saying things like that. Good lookin' gal like yourself? You look great, c'mon!"

I can't really blame her, but Calamity just sort of looked at me like I'd completely lost my nut... and then she started laughing. There was no mistaking that for a cough or a growl, this was straight up belly laughter.

"That's sweet of you. I appreciate the effort, but I know what I look like. I mean, hell, there are some days it feels like my jaw's going to come loose. If you'd said that, I dunno, couple hundred years ago maybe, I'd be more inclined to believe you. But now..."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I was a helluva looker before the bombs dropped." She paused. "I think. I don't quite remember everything from before the War. Sometimes I get bits and pieces, but it's... not all there. Not all the time, you know?"

I pulled back the charging handle on the old M4 with my left hand as hard as I could, and started to run - but before I got far, I was face to face with the fourth Legionnaire. He was wearing armor that looked like it had been cobbled together from fallen enemies - including what looked like a looted helmet from a set of powered armor. He was holding a large metal rod in both hands; at first I thought it was a spear, but it wasn't sharp. There were a number of small hoses and pipes running along the rod, and there was a small flame on the end.

It felt like I couldn't even use VATS. I brought the rifle up and pulled the trigger without even bothering to aim. The rifle barked and flashed, and there were sparks everywhere, but I couldn't tell if I'd even hit him. The Legion soldier just kept charging, bringing the metal rod up like he meant to skewer me. That's when I realized what he was holding: a modified thermal lance - an oxyacetylene torch designed to burn through iron, steel, and concrete.

I dodged out of the way just in time - there was a long surge of flame, a burst of acrid smoke, and a shower of sparks from the end of the lance next to me as the Legion soldier tried to drive it into me. He was so close I could practically smell him... if the smell of the thermal lance wasn't overpowering everything. It felt like time slowed down, so I did the only thing I could think of: I grabbed the middle of the lance, and tried to wrench it out of his hands. He held a firm grip on it, but I was able to force the lance further away from me... and watched as the thermal lance burned into the concrete in a shower of sparks and foul smelling smoke, burying itself at least a foot into the ground.

I didn't have time to celebrate; the Legion soldier swung a massive fist towards my face. I bent backwards, dodging the swing by inches, if that. I held onto the lance with my free hand, and with my right still holding onto the pistol grip of the carbine, I shoved the barrel right at the helmet's visor and pulled the trigger. There was a bright flash from the muzzle, and the bark of the rifle discharge, but the bullets didn't exit out the back of the helmet... it sounded more like they entered in one side, and rattled around a bit. The Legion soldier lost his grip on the spear, and fell backwards.

A bullet impacted with the roof of my car, reminding me that I'd stayed still for too long. I didn't have time to think, I just had time to move. Off to the side, I could hear ED-E still buzzing around, firing laser blasts as quick as he could. I ran for the nearest piece of cover that wasn't my car, firing off in the general direction of the Legion soldiers. I'd just about made it, when ED-E flew right next to my head beeping frantically - there was a bang, and ED-E was knocked out of the sky, landing behind one of the Jersey barriers.

"ED-E!" I yelled. The eyebot flew up again, his movements through the air more erratic than normal. I heard a few bullets hit the concrete barrier, and a fragment of one of the ricochets clipped me in the right shoulder, above my bicep. I cried out in pain and dropped to the ground, hiding behind the concrete block. I gripped the carbine tight, unsure of how many rounds I still had left.

"Quickly! Surround him!" I heard one of the Legion soldiers yell. ED-E was circling above me, still trying to draw their fire. I grabbed one of the grenades, and pulled the pin.

"Surround this, you son of a bitch..." I growled through clenched teeth, tossing the grenade over the concrete barrier. I shut my eyes and braced myself. The ground shook, and I felt a wave of heat wash over me.

It was now or never. I emerged from the barrier before the green flame of the MF cell grenade had finished dying down, and slipped into VATS as fast as I could. There were still three targets up. A Legion soldier with a rifle, one with a submachine gun, and one in the back with a large sniper rifle. None of them were wearing helmets. I took aim and fired. The one with the submachine gun was hit in the side of the head, and fell, his gun firing wildly in the air.

I leapt over the barrier and advanced, firing at the Legionnaire with the sniper rifle. His attention was focused on ED-E, giving me a clean shot. Another burst from my M4, and his neck exploded in a shower of blood. The sniper rifle clattered to the ground, and his head smashed into a nearby rock when he fell.

That left one Legionnaire to deal with. I swung the carbine around to aim at him, and realized with a mounting sense of dread that he had done the same to me. I squeezed the trigger, and hoped against hope that I faster on the draw. It felt like both rifles fired simultaneously. My upper left thigh screamed in pain, and I'm sure I'd been shot... but I saw the Legion soldier fall as well, blood erupting out of multiple gunshot wounds on his chest.

The highway fell silent... until ED-E came to a stop near me, letting out a burst of victorious marching music. I let the carbine rifle fall to my side, and I finally gave myself the relief of breathing again. It was ragged and heavy, and I felt myself go lightheaded. I checked the radar on my Pip Boy. It didn't show any more hostile contacts... but I looked at the Legion soldier with the rifle that I'd just shot, and I could see he was still moving slightly, not quite dead.

I looked around, and walked over to the dead Legionnaire who'd shot at me with the sniper rifle - and saw that it wasn't really a sniper rifle. It was like one of those four-foot long rifles I'd seen at the gun runners: a .50 caliber anti-materiel rifle, designed and built before the war to disable tanks. No wonder they'd been able to shoot through my car so easily. I shouldered the M4, and I picked up the massive rifle, checking the magazine. Four of the massive .50 cal rounds had been fired, leaving four left.

I walked over the Legion soldier lying on the ground - he was still moving, desperately trying to reach for the rifle that had fallen nearby. I finally got a look at the rifle - like the carbine slung across my back, it was some kind of marksman carbine, but the foregrip was lined with air vents and four Picatinny tactical rails. A scope was mounted on the top rail. I kicked it away from his hands and planted my boot on his chest. He winced, and a trail of blood started to leak out of his mouth.

"You know, for a group that claims to hate technology, this is some pretty impressive kit you got here. A thermal lance used for industrial welding, marksman carbines with tactical rails, rifles designed to punch through tanks... If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were all massive hypocrites." I leveled the massive rifle directly at his face. And when I say it was massive, I mean it: I was standing up on top of him, and it felt like I had the stock practically welded into my shoulder, but the muzzle brake on the end of the barrel was still only about an inch from his nose.

"Alright, the way I see it, I got two options here," I said, trying to sound as dangerous as I could. "I could let you live, so you can head back to the Fort and tell Caesar and Vulpes and whoever else wants me dead that I'm not going to be so easy to kill. Or..." I pulled the bolt back, and then shoved it forward again, just so the Legionnaire under my boot knew that a .50 cal round was now chambered. "Or, I could just kill you right now - and when none of the assassins return, that should get the message across just as well. Don't you agree?" The Legionnaire just looked at me with utter contempt.

"Kill me or release me, Courier." He coughed, and blood splattered out of his mouth. "It will make no difference. Csar has marked you for death, and he will never call off The Fox or his men from the hunt. Every member of the Legion will be after your head."

I made it look like I was considering that for a minute. In the end, I just shrugged.

"Damn."

I braced myself for the kickback, and squeezed the trigger.

I considered myself extremely lucky. For as many new bullet holes there were in my car - including the massive one in both the driver and the passenger door, and the chunk taken out of the upper right corner of the glass in the windshield - none of them had managed to hit anything too vital. All the tires were still inflated, and none of the bullets had even gotten close to damaging the engine. Not only that, but I'd grabbed all the discarded weapons, as much ammo as I could carry, and anything else I thought could be valuable - which isn't stealing, because they attacked me, which makes it mine by international law of Go Fuck Yourselves.

As for the looted weapons, there was the anti-materiel rifle with 19 .50 cal rounds left, the marksman carbine and about 52 rounds of 5.56mm caliber ammunition, and the extremely box-like submachine gun - which turned out to be chambered for 12.7mm bullets - along with close to 70 of the 12.7mm rounds. For those of you who don't know, 12.7mm is the civilian version of the .50 caliber round, designed for use with pistols and submachine guns rather than rifles. The rounds are positively massive. I ended up leaving the thermal lance buried in the ground.

When I finished taking stock of the weapons and ammo, I realized that I was actually in quite a bit of pain. And not the normal kind of exhausted pain you get from an adrenaline crash. Then I remembered - I'd been shot a couple of times. I took a look at my right arm and left leg, and thankfully none of the bullets had actually gotten themselves lodged in my skin. So, I pulled out one of the medkits in my trunk, and used one of the stimpacks. As the skin knitted itself back together, I took a look at ED-E, remembering that he'd been shot as well. The outside of his chassis was dented where he'd been hit, and one of the stabilizing jets on his underside was slightly cracked, but it wasn't anything too serious.

In the end, I replaced the microfusion cells in the engine's cylinders, I handed Gibson the cash, and she let me take the dog. When I finally got back to Westside, Rey was sprawled out across the backseat. I half expected him to stick his head out the back window like Rex had, but apparently he just wanted to sleep. Calamity was waiting for me where I'd dropped her off, and slung across her back was a large sack, full of... stuff. Honestly, I couldn't quite see what all she had.

"And what sort of time do you call this?" She rasped, looking at the watch on her wrist. "What, did you stop for drive-through on the way back or something?"

"No, I just got ambushed by Legion assassins and nearly died." I said as nonchalantly as I could. She scoffed, obviously not believing me. I pointed at the back seat. "I got the dog, though."

Calamity opened the backseat, and put her backpack in the footwell. Rather than getting in the passenger seat though, the ghoul bent down over the dog, and placed a hand on the dog's chest with a concerned look on her face. Then she turned to me.

"You do realize this dog is dead, right?"

"What?!" I turned around in my seat to look at Rey sprawled out on my backseat. "He wasn't dead when I got him. Are you sure?" She nodded.

"It's not breathing, and that usually indicates that something is dead," she said, apparently unconcerned. She just shut the back door and got in the passenger seat.

"Well, fuck. Is this going to be a problem?" I asked, trying to see if I could salvage this situation. Calamity shrugged.

"If I'm honest, it smells like the dog died recently - probably within the last half hour or so. The brain will decay the quickest, but if we get the corpse to the doctor before rigor sets in, Henry should be able to preserve it long enough to complete the operation."

"So, you're saying the quicker we get the dog to Henry, the better off the operation will be?" I asked. Calamity nodded. "Then put your seat belt on, and hold onto something."

"What are you-" The ghoul was interrupted by a squeal of spinning tires, and the speed of the car peeling away as fast as possible shoving her back into the seat.

Time to see how fast my car can go up a mountain road on a full charge.