Chapter 36 - No Regrets

Ye Rim felt sad for not being able to share with her unnie Eun Ha her euphoria for having received a call from the radio, saying she should show up today for a job interview. Her unnie was sleeping heavily after arriving at daybreak two nights in a row.

Eun Ha had been mysterious lately, but she mentioned something about taking private lessons or whatever. Of course, Ye Rim had found it odd at first, this evening tutoring thing, and mostly because Eun Ha looked thoughtful and anxious in the last two days or so.

As she stared out the window at the bus, her mind wandered to small plans for the future, trying to avoid thinking too much about the past or making unrealistic projections.

Ye Rim wanted to lighten things up for Eun Ha. Their money had barely been enough for making ends meet lately. Eun Ha's online shop featuring her clothing collection wasn't going well. Her unnie was still working part-time as a dental assistant_ while Ye Rim had so far achieved nothing better than singing at the Pearl and her eventual wedding gigs as singer.

That was not why they left their hometown for.

A few days ago, in front of the two rich guys who went to charity events and squash or polo games whenever they wanted, she said everything was fine. But of course it wasn't.

Time had passed hopelessly and several opportunities had escaped through her fingers.

In other occasions, she barely escaped being in real trouble by pursuing her dreams. She was often surprised that she did not realize before it was too late: she was wasting her precious time on projects that wouldn't come true. What was she in reality: too naïve or too stupid?

She told Kim and Lee that she had been very unlucky, and that the three groups she was scheduled to debut didn't happen_ but that wasn't entirely true.

However, even if her dream had been stifled after so many failed attempts, she needed something more substantial than singing gigs if she was going to support herself with dignity. If she got the job, she could pay back all the money Eun Ha had already borrowed her_ and then her unnie could reinvest in her clothing collection and online store. Maybe it wasn't as Eun Ha had dreamed it either; but it was a feasible course of action.

Sometimes Ye Rim wondered when she had stopped dreaming big, as Eun Ha still did. But the reality was harsh, and she was a few weeks from 27 years old, by her true birth date. What was the real chance of debuting as a singer, solo or in a group, at this age in her country?

Endlessly minimal chances, that's it, and she should be realistic.

She had even stubbornly tried to keep her dreams alive for the past two years. But doing it only make things hurt more.

Still, Ye Rim didn't feel she had done anything wrong.

She got off at her bus stop for one more try. Comparatively modest than her girlish ambitions; but still quite large in light of her little achievements so far.

The TV network's beautiful building also housed one of the most listened radios in the capital. When she introduced herself to the front desk, she noticed that the receptionist looked at her twice. Ye Rim smiled back, acknowledging her veiled scrutiny, and didn't comment that she'd been there in the past _ another girl among the girls with a dream. It would make no difference at all.

The receptionist smiled again as she consulted her ID and entered information into the computer. This usually took less time, and Ye Rim worried. 'Do they still keep information from so long ago? OMG!'

Like a flash, her mind remembered the chaos, hair pulling, blood, and screams in that very lobby.

'Bombshell Girls Come to Blows in Public: Violence and Breakup Few Weeks After Their Debut?'

It would make a good tagline, but they weren't even this famous for a tagline at that time.

She looked back at the now suspicious receptionist. 'Is she recognizing me? How can it be?'

Ye Rim narrowed her eyes, watching the employee's attitude. The employee noticed it, and tried to disguise whatever she was doing with a weird cough, and resumed typing.

The singer, by her side, feigned to itch her nose, and lingered her hand next to face_ partially covering it from the receptionist view. 'From all this keyboard typing sound, she's not filling out forms, this bitch! She is gossiping about me. How can she recognize me? Can't she simply ask me? At that time I had white hair and blue eyes! Pretty much entirely someone else!'

The receptionist made a sudden move to return her ID card, and Ye Rim was quick to put her sunglasses back on, keeping a distracted gaze on the horizon_ even though it was a closed place.

Doing her best to change her appearance, she flexed her lips so she could make them look thinner, leaving her teeth protruding and her mouth wide and rigid. 'Come on baby, I'm a totally different girl who is into botox, not this one on your computer screen!'

"Thank you, Miss Nam. Could you please take your sunglasses off so I can register you with the webcam?"

'Damn it!'

"Oh, uh." Talking like that wasn't easy. Ye Rim took off her glasses and tried to make goggle eyes, as if she had too many surgical procedures in her eye area. "Does it take too long?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Register a person in the system."

"Oh well. Usually not. But ... I had to update your data, as your ID was already in the system. My supervisor needs to input his password for it; please forgive us for the delay."

'Seriously!'

"Oh, no problem!" But Ye Rim had an excellent memory, and watched as the security chief_ a little older than she remembered so far, of course, but still the same man_ came to the front desk to answer the receptionist's call. He tried to be discreet about dealing with the whatever lock, ban or warning they're seeing in the screen, but Ye Rim kept eagle eyes on both employees.

'Supervisor my foot! Aish, that's overreaction! So the Bombshells became personas non gratas on this network?! That's ridiculous!'

The man looked at her with an apologetic look: "Please, it should take just a moment, I'm sorry."

'What if they say_ after a minutes feigning they're trying to figure it out_ it's a system issue and they can't allow access ?! Am I going to miss my scheduled interview ?!' She kept watching them out of the corner of her eye until a small line of people formed behind her. They seemed to be part of one group. She guessed that the receptionist was starting to be alarmed on keep them waiting while the security chief decided what to do with Ye Rim, so she took action and demanded:

"Miss, keep my ID and I get it out later, okay? I'm late for my appointment." The front desk clerk exchanged a look with security chief, who nodded in approval, and slightly unease held out the visitor ID to the wide-eyed-looking-crazy woman. Ye Rim almost yanked it from her hand eagerly, turning immediately and heading for the gates.

'That's all I need now, that tiny little past incident keeping me from getting my job interview… OMG! What if that rumormonger person has already spread to the radio staff that I was involved in a fight in this very building? What if it gets in the way of my hiring?!'

As she got on the elevator with other people, as much as she wanted to avoid, memories of that fateful day came to her mind; even with all the context that culminated in blood, tears and broken dreams.

The Bombshell Unit group underwent many overhauls until it was defined. Ye Rim has been in rehearsals since the early days, but very close to the debut day, they added a sixth girl with similar Ye Rim's looks. It was on the day of Min Young's arrival that Ye Rim realized that her colleagues hated her, and that there was possibly some kind of plot against her in action.

Of course, Ye Rim already knew that some of them acted fake and petulant toward her, even her hoobaes.

She knew there were hints that she got favors from one of the producers. Although Ye Rim thought PD Kang was hoping for their success and they really had no special relationship whatsoever, she knew people might think wrong of it. He had defended her stay at the agency even after repeated audition failures recently. He used to give advice and ask her to train hard to make her debut, so those vipers were jealous and made up rumors about them.

Including rumors that she would be replaced by Min Young before the group debut. But the group debuted as planned, with Ye Rim as lead singer.

She began to feel threatened when she was in the dorm. Three of them, excluding rookie Min Young and the indifferent In Ha, began to be cruel on her. And since Ye Rim was seemingly immune to bullying, they began to make more aggressive and dangerous pranks, as they called it. This had extended even after the group's debut, opening a show for a famous group.

Though, the mild reception and unfortunate timing of the group's MV_ which coincided with the release of the most successful single's MV that year _did not improve anyone's mood.

That day, early in the morning, they came to the TV station to make part of a shooting for a reality-variety program, as part of the group's promotional agenda. A lot of weird things happened to the group that day during the shootings, and everyone was dissatisfied and stressed in the end of it.

Already in the elevator in their way back to the dorms, the other girls started attacking her, saying that she wanted to steal the spotlight from them all and spoil things for the group. Ye Rim was already fed up with them and their complaints and didn't even bother to refute the accusations. Not even their manager was able to calm them down or control their aggressive attitude.

Ye Rim remembered how she felt, yes, pretty much cornered_ but mostly angry and fed up than afraid or anything.

She stopped paying attention to them, and was responding to Eun Ha's message_ that said she was in the lobby hoping on seeing Ye Rim after her first TV show shooting. When simultaneously the elevator doors opened, and a slap made her phone fly and glide across the lobby floor.

She remembered looking up from her now empty hand to the awful, petulant Ji Ah's face, and feeling her fists clench on their own volition.

The next thing to fall to the floor and slide was Ji Ah, and a very bloodthirsty Ye Rim jumped over her to finish things up. And honestly to this day, even in the memories, Ye Rim couldn't have any remorse.

She vaguely remembered the other girls meddling in, or Eun Ha joining her against the Bombshell group members. Just a daze of bites, scratches, hair pulling, punches and kicks; shouts, profanity, and threats_right there on that building's lobby, in good show for anyone to see. Ye Rim even got a dislocated thumb and some physiotherapy sessions as result of this catfight.

The consequence was the group's disband and the termination of contract with the agency for all of them.

"It really wouldn't make it. It wasn't even a good concept."

She spoke up, summarizing her thoughts about the past incident. Some people with her in the elevator looked weird at her. She smiled and apologized, and as soon as the door opened, she hurried out of the elevator. Luckily, it was the radio's floor.

Ye Rim smoothed her clothes and her anxious, hopeful feelings, and walked on to the reception desk.