Chapter 102:

To say that this stomach problem is really not caused by Mu Nan not cherishing himself. Emotions are not so easy to control. When Qin Huai just left, Mu Nan was at a loss. Facing the future, he even felt fear and fear in his heart. Even when his parents passed away, he didn't react that much, because he knew that at that time he still had someone to rely on. As soon as Qin Huai left, the last wall supporting him in his heart collapsed.

During that time, he really had the feeling that he had nothing to do with the world anymore. He was the only one with no friends or family. Maybe he would die in the house one day and be discovered only when he stinks. He didn't want to talk, he didn't want to eat, and he felt that everything had become boring. He didn't go to find something to eat until his eyes turned black from hunger.

This self-enclosed mood lasted for a long time. Although he gradually came out of this mood and began to adapt to a person's life, let alone a big change in personality, at least it is impossible to return It's as heartless as before. After that, his stomach was not very good, occasionally dull pain, occasional acid reflux, but it was not serious, because it was not serious, so he didn't take it seriously, and when it became serious later, it didn't just take some medicine to get better up.

He didn't want Qin Huai to know that his stomach hurts, he didn't want Qin Huai to worry, and he didn't want Qin Huai to see his fragility. When his stomach hurts, he used to grit his teeth and bear it alone. No matter how severe the pain was, he could only bear it by himself. Over time, there is a feeling that the pain is linked to the loneliness of no one to rely on. Compared with resisting alone, now he doesn't know how to accept the care and worry of others, even if that person is Qin Huai.

Although it is not that he has suffered from stomach problems in front of Qin Huai, his body knows that the pain used to be just a little bit, and it will be over after taking some medicine, but this time he knows it is not, the pain is a bit serious, it is real He fell ill, that's why he was a little panicked. It can be said that Qin Huai had the worst attack since he came back.

Mu Nan endured all the way, but how could he hide his strangeness from Qin Huai, Qin Huai noticed it when Mu Nan was walking more and more slowly, but he didn't say anything, just asked Mu Nan to go as soon as possible Walking home, if you want to walk with Mu Nan on your back, it is too dangerous in the snow, and a slight fall will result in a broken bone. Fortunately, the distance is not too far, and Mu Nan made it all the way home, but once he got home, The whole body was already in excruciating pain. If it wasn't for Qin Huai's support, he would have fallen directly to the ground.

Qin Huai quickly took off his icy and snowy coat, and then wiped the icicles formed by the cold sweat on his face with a hot towel, and then stuffed Mu Nan, whose face was whiter than snow, into the bed on the kang. Under the quilt, he stuffed the hand warmer that was still warm in the quilt into Mu Nan's clothes. He didn't touch Mu Nan's stomach. His own hands were still cold. He took out the spare medicine box that was kept outside: "Nan Nan, take the medicine first."

Mu Nan opened his eyes and looked at the medicine box, and said in a weak voice of pain, "Pain reliever..." The stomach medicine can't take it anymore, so I have to take the pain reliever first.

Qin Huai wrapped him in the quilt and sat him up from the bed, opened the box of pain relievers and poured out two pills. After feeding Mu Nan to drink it, he raised his back a little bit. Lie down and throw up later.

After feeding the medicine, Qin Huai went to add coal to the stove again, but before he could re-burn the fire in the stove, Mu Nan lay on the edge of the kang and began to vomit, vomiting out the medicine he had just taken. Mu Nan vomited for a long time, curled up on the edge of the kang in pain.

Qin Huai patted him on the back, hoping that he would feel better: "Nan Nan, let me rub it for you, don't push it so hard."

Mu Nan supported the edge of the bed and sat up, then readjusted his posture and lay down: "I'll lie down for a while."

Qin Huai wanted to help him up, but Mu Nan resisted a little while grabbing the quilt: "Don't, don't touch me."

Qin Huai covered him with a goose down quilt: "Alright, I won't move you. You lie down for a while, and when you can take your medicine, call me and I'll pour you water."

Mu Nan lay down for a while, got up and sat for a while, his stomach hurt, the pain was severe, his whole back and heart hurt, and he couldn't lie down at all. Qin Huai cleaned up the ground where Mu Nan had just vomited, and prepared a small trash can with a trash bag on the side. Seeing him tossing and turning in pain on the kang, he wished he could replace him with his own body. The pain was breaking out in a cold sweat, he was sweating anxiously.

Seeing that Mu Nan slowed down a bit and didn't vomit again, Qin Huai took out two painkillers again, but this time he crushed the pills and mixed them in the water. The painkiller pills were a bit big, and he was afraid that Mu Nan would drink them again. Spit it out and mix it into a water solution, which is easier to swallow.

"Nannan, drink the medicine, it's a bit bitter, drink it in one gulp and add a piece of sugar."

Mu Nan didn't want to drink it, but he also knew that he was the one who suffered for doing this, so he gritted his teeth and poured in the small cup of medicine that was so painful that people couldn't help but vomit, Qin Huai quickly handed him warm water to rinse his mouth, He stuffed another candy into his mouth.

Mu Nan couldn't lie down, clutching his stomach that wished to dance in his body, closed his eyes and leaned against the quilt behind him, cold sweat broke out on his forehead.

Qin Huai wiped his sweat non-stop, and covered his stomach with the charged hand warmer: "Can I rub it for you?"

Mu Nan shook his head, grabbed the quilt and fell back on the bed, with one hand firmly resting on his stomach, as if he had just been fished out of the water, you can see what kind of pain it is.

Qin Huai tried to break him apart, but he didn't dare to use too much force: "Nan Nan, did you have a cramp? I'll just rub it for you, don't use such force."

Mu Nan's mind was buzzing, and he couldn't hear what Qin Huai was saying at all, but subconsciously resisted his touch, he just wanted to be alone now, and no one should bother him.

Qin Huai pursed his lips. He couldn't let Mu Nan rely on brute force to stop the pain, so he hugged him directly, and he didn't soften his heart when he heard Mu Nan groan in pain because of the sudden movement: "Lie flat, you can't Press it like this, and I'll rub it for you." The most effective acupoint for relieving stomach pain is the Zhongwan acupoint, where you palm upwards from the navel, no matter whether it is really useful or not, it is better than his random pressing.

Mu Nan was in so much pain that he lost his strength. He wanted to shrink himself into his shell to digest the pain, but Qin Huai didn't allow it at all and intervened forcefully. I don't know if the rubbing and pressing worked, or the painkillers started to take effect. After a while, Mu Nan felt that he was alive again, but the sugar in his mouth had already melted away, but it didn't wash away the pain just now. The bitter taste of the medicine made my stomach twitch so badly a few times that I almost couldn't hold it back and spit it out, and it rolled up into my throat, but he suppressed it with all my strength. Right now, the bitterness in my mouth was so bad that I just wanted to drink some water. A straw was handed to his mouth.

"Nan Nan, drink some water. I mixed a little grapefruit honey to wash away the taste in my mouth." He didn't put too much grapefruit honey. However, Mu Nan never liked plain boiled water. He always said that he would feel nauseous if he drank too much, so Qin Huai added a little bit to make the water not taste like white.

The bitterness in his mouth was no longer so bitter, and his stomach calmed down a little. Mu Nan fell asleep weak and tired all over.

Qin Huai on the side wiped his sweat carefully and didn't dare to touch him. This was the first time he saw Mu Nan in such pain, and it was also the first time he felt how Mu Nan behaved when he was supposed to need her the most. out of resistance.

Qin Huai didn't know what it was like in his heart, it was as if his heart had been torn with countless holes, and it was hurting everywhere, the pain was suffocating.

Not long after sleeping, Mu Nan woke up. The cramping pain in his stomach had turned into a continuous tingling pain. The pain was not severe, but it was not pleasant either. He was too familiar with this procedure. It was like this before. There is a sudden attack of time, and once the attack occurs, take the medicine honestly. Sometimes it takes three to five days to get better soon. Sometimes I have tried both Chinese and Western medicines, but it doesn’t work. I have been hungry and heartburned for several months. , Pain after eating full, uncomfortable sleep all night, heart discomfort even when lying down, he even wondered if he had heart disease, but the doctor said it was a stomach problem, and he could only support it.

Now he eats meals made by Qin Huai every day. Since Qin Huai came back to the present, he occasionally felt uncomfortable, but it passed away immediately. He thought his stomach was getting better, but it happened again without warning.

Seeing that Mu Nan woke up but lay still, Qin Huai stepped forward and gently rubbed his hair: "It still hurts?"

Mu Nan carefully looked at Qin Huai's face, although he didn't know why he was uncomfortable and had to look at Qin Huai's face, but he just observed it instinctively, and seeing that Qin Huai was still calm, he said: "It's much better. "

Qin Huai said: "Aren't you hungry, I'll cook some noodles for you? If you want to eat porridge, you can only eat millet porridge now. I have already soaked the millet, but it will take a while to cook. If you want to eat porridge, take out some yam and eat some." The yam and millet porridge will make my stomach feel better."

Mu Nan felt that it was too troublesome: "Let's eat noodles."

"Okay, let's eat some noodles first, and I'll cook the millet later. I'll bear with it for a few days. Eat and count, okay? I'll make you whatever you want after you've recovered your body."

Mu Nan didn't dare to say no, so she nodded obediently.

Qin Huai smiled, closed the quilt for him, stretched his hand into the quilt to feel the temperature, found that Mu Nan's hand was still on his stomach, saw his hand stretched into the quilt, quickly let go, Qin Huai suddenly After a pause, without saying anything, he picked up the hand warmer that was alternately charging and put it on his stomach: "Warm it up, don't catch a cold, I'll cook noodles for you."

Qin Huai said that he ate light food for a few days, and it really was completely light. The noodles and porridge came in turn, but the noodles were either tomato noodles or deer bone soup noodles, and the porridge was yam and millet, or sweet potato porridge with a little bit of sweet potato. Good people can’t eat too much, but adding a little bit to the porridge can reconcile the stomach acid and nourish the stomach, which is basically good for digestion and nourish the stomach, but the problem of gastric ulcer is that it hurts when you are hungry, and it hurts when you eat it. It finally subsides. It is also a continuous and dense discomfort. Once this stomach problem occurs, I don't have much meat, and I lost a lot of weight.

Mu Nan put a pile of pillows in the corner of the kang, and not long after lunch, his stomach started to hurt again, so leaning on the pile of pillows and leaning on his side can relieve some pain, anyway, lying down when the pain starts I can't help it, I can only find comfortable stuck points in various postures and angles. Seeing Mu Nan sitting up, Qin Huai sat next to him: "Would you like to lean on me for a while?"

Mu Nan shook his head, holding a pillow in his arms, and another under his waist, leaning against a pile of pillows piled up in the corner, and the notebook on the small table in front of him diverted his attention, this posture is what he can currently adjust most comfortable.

Qin Huai rubbed his hair, saw that he didn't speak, Mu Nan felt uncomfortable when Qin Huai looked at him like this, and raised his head slightly to look at Qin Huai: "Brother?"

Qin Huai was silent for a while, then shook his head and smiled: "It's okay, I'll go get you some hot water."

When Qin Huai poured a cup of hot water over, Mu Nan couldn't help but asked, "Are you angry?"

Qin Huai looked at him: "Nan Nan, why are you so afraid of me?"

Mu Nan was taken aback, then shook his head subconsciously: "No." He was afraid that no one would be afraid of Qin Huai.

Qin Huai lowered his head and kissed his lips: "Nan Nan, I love you..."

Mu Nan looked at Qin Huai in a daze. Qin Huai had never said these three words to him so solemnly before. He didn't know how to react for a while, should he also reply that I love you too?

Before he could speak, Qin Huai said: "So no matter what you can say or what you can't say, I will accept it completely. Don't be afraid of me, don't feel that your illness will drag me down, don't be afraid that I will be sad, and don't be afraid that I will worry , don't be afraid, I will leave you alone again, you know, if I can choose, I will never leave."

"I'm still your brother, always have been, always will be, never changed."

Mu Nan couldn't help muttering in a low voice: "Isn't that becoming a boyfriend?"

Qin Huai smiled when he heard the words, reached out and hugged Mu Nan into his arms, and gently rubbed his stomach with one hand: "Do you still remember the year I left, when you almost fell into the reservoir and drowned?"

Mu Nan hummed, and didn't know why Qin Huai brought up this matter, it had been many years, and it was only a surprise, and he was picked up soon. At that time, he was in junior high school. A child of fifteen or sixteen was no longer considered a child, but a teenager. Naturally, he was not as strict as the guard he was in when he was a child. Qin Huai was in high school at that time, and he was in the second year of high school. How long ago, the summer vacation of junior high school is much easier than that of high school, so a group of restless teenagers invite them to play games or play in the water all day long. There is a river on their side, and many people swim in summer, but the river is full of sand and not very clean. A classmate said, you can go to the reservoir to play, it is clean there.

As a result, they went to the reservoir, and before they were ready to go into the water, he fell suddenly. At that time, his classmates were stunned, because the place where they fell was a high slope, not the lower level ground, and they had the courage to jump down to save him if they wanted to. , it turned out that an uncle who was fishing by the reservoir rescued him. He said he was an uncle, but he was actually not very old. He was in his thirties, but he was young at the time, so he naturally called him uncle. I don’t know if it’s just a simple camouflage uniform or a soldier. After picking him up, he saw that he had nothing to do and left. He didn’t even know the name of the other party.

At that time, he was quite squeamish and heartless, he was used to sharing the big and small things in life with Qin Huai, what a big deal it was that he almost drowned, when Qin Huai came back, he couldn't help but talk about it, scaring Qin Huai enough .

Qin Huai said: "That person did it."

Mu Nan sat up suddenly and looked at Qin Huai in a daze.

Qin Huai pulled him back into his arms: "At that time, he had already come to look for me, and I always refused. Before I went home that day, I met him once, and he said that this was his first warning." At that time, he didn't understand what the man meant, but as soon as he got home, he heard Mu Nan say that he almost drowned, and instantly understood what the man meant.

And the second time, when Mu Nan came out of the Internet cafe with his classmates, the man pressed him into the car. He saw a motorcycle parked at the corner with his own eyes. When he saw Mu Nan coming out of the Internet cafe, he suddenly accelerated. In the past, Mu Nan reacted quickly at that time, backed away in an instant, otherwise he would have hit him at that moment, and his blood father looked at him who was going crazy and completely out of control at that time, and said coldly, this is the second time .

Qin Huai knew that the next time it would be true, he panicked and was afraid, he knew that man would not give up until he achieved his goal, it was also the first time he knew that the world of adults was so arrogant and lawless, He compromised, he couldn't afford to gamble, and the man's calm eyes in the face of this kind of thing told him that this was definitely not the first time he had done this.

Qin Huai hugged Mu Nan and said, "When I first left the country, I missed you every day, wanted to call you, and asked if you were okay, but I couldn't. I thought before that his purpose might be to want With time, let me forget everything in the country, and maybe feel that when I am corrupted by capital, I can become what he wants. After all, I am his son, and he thinks my nature should be the same as his, so I'm not allowed to contact you, because if I don't contact you, time will dilute everything, he's monitoring me all the time, threatening me, if something happens to you while you're in the country, I don't dare to think about the outcome."

Speaking of this, Qin Huai sighed: "But I found out later that maybe it wasn't because of this, maybe he saw that my feelings for you were different from the beginning, and he wanted to use such a strong way to cut off my feelings for you." All of this, trying to push me back to the right way he thought, until he found out that I might never become what he wanted, and what's more, my rapid growth not only did not make him happy, but made him feel uncomfortable. Controlled, when he has another child, he will abandon me without hesitation."

Mu Nan looked at Qin Huai, and Qin Huai kissed him on the forehead: "In the first few years, I couldn't contact you. I don’t want you to know about my situation abroad, being controlled and monitored. Letting you know is just to make you worry, so I can only get your news through Jiang Xuan in China. Later, when he completely gave up controlling me At that time, after I knew my feelings for you, I thought at that time, wait, wait until I return to China, and I will go to you after I have settled everything."

Mu Nan didn't say a word, he didn't know about these things, although he knew in his heart that if it wasn't forced, Qin Huai would definitely not leave with a father he had never met, but he didn't know that he had to threaten him with his life. He also didn't know that when he was still sad and depressed about Qin Huai's departure, Qin Huai was actually living a life of being threatened and monitored abroad.

Qin Huai poked Mu Nan's cheek: "I thought it would be good for you not to mention some things, but I just realized now that it might be better to talk about some things, at least let you know that I am your Qin Huai, and I have always been , and nothing has changed because of leaving.”

If it weren't for this illness, Mu Nan subconsciously resisted him when he was in so much pain, and just wanted to circle his reaction of silently resisting, Qin Huai might not have realized the problem between them, or in fact realized it, but always felt that time can solve everything. When he was sick when he was a child, his physical discomfort could cause him to be unable to sleep all night. Now the pain is so severe, but he just wants to fight on his own. His departure is the result of Mu Nan's independent life all these years. The influence may have gone deep into a kind of instinct, and what's more, Mu Nan was subconsciously afraid of the changes brought about by his leaving these years. Even though they get along well now, it still made Mu Nan feel insecure.

There is no doubt about Mu Nan's trust and reliance on him, but maybe even Mu Nan didn't realize that in the corner of this trust and reliance, there is another layer of his own self-protection shell. This shell is all these years. In my life, the uneasiness accumulated.

Some things are said, and there may not be any changes immediately, but at least, it can break the last circle that Mu Nan has closed up, and open an opening that will allow him to slowly disintegrate.

Mu Nan reached out and hugged Qin Huai, and buried her whole body in his chest: "You should tell me."

Qin Huai caressed his hair: "Fool, how can I give up." He himself is not an adult, Mu Nan is still young, and two people who have not even left the campus, how can they have the conditions and strength to resist a capitalist? He is still a capitalist gnawing on human blood, so he can only use some immature methods to protect the people he cares about the most.

Mu Nan said: "I don't know if I will have a chance to see him in this life."

Qin Huai smiled: "If so?"

Mu Nan gritted his teeth and said: "Then I hope to see him live a miserable life, without food or clothing, when we can eat big meals and meat, he can't even gnaw on the bark, as miserable as he can be, then I'm so happy!"

Qin Huai: "Perhaps people died in the earthquake."

Thinking about this possibility, Mu Nan shook his head a little dissatisfied: "That's too cheap for him!" A person who has done so many bad things, dying so fast is really too cheap for him!

Qin Huai rubbed Mu Nan for a while, and asked, "Is it better, does it still hurt?"

When Qin Huai asked, Mu Nan realized that his stomach felt much better. Listening to Qin Huai's words just now, his attention was completely diverted: "It doesn't hurt anymore, don't rub it anymore, today is the first day since they left? Haven't you answered yet?" Did something happen?"

Qin Huai said: "It's the fifth day, if you don't come back again, something may have happened."

Mu Nan frowned slightly, feeling a little worried, but after a while, he heard movement from the door.