Chapter 203 - This is nothing compared to your words...

|Eshan|

Helplessness is like the grip of a slithering snake. It coils around you, snatching your abilities to take any action.

Holding Innaya in my arms, I did not know how much time had passed. She had cried herself to the point of having zero energy to move. She just slumped against my chest. Her expressions kept changing from time to time and they kept worsening. It looked as if she was recalling some unpleasant memory. If only I could see what was going on in that tiny brain of hers.

Picking her fragile body in my arms, I brought her inside and placed her on the bed. With her careless probing that wound had gotten big. She had to be in a lot of pain, but I had a feeling that whatever was bothering her pained her more.

Innaya closed her eyes once her back touched the headrest. She did not say anything or moved a bit. I regretted saying those words to her. When did I become so heartless to hurt her with my words?

Glancing at her lonely frame, my heart screamed at me for hurting her. Just how could I? I wished I could take back those words. Alas! I could not do that. All I could do was to make up for my mistakes.

Hurrying back to the bathroom, I brought the medicine box. I sat beside Innaya and took her hand in my hold. Just looking at the blood and how deep her nails had hurt her made me feel the pain. The wound which could have healed in a day or two now needed almost a week. She would have to bear the pain for more time.

"It will hurt. Just hold on." I started to clean the wound with antiseptic liquid as I warned her.

"This is nothing compared to your words," Innaya muttered under her breath little sardonically.

My hand froze and the cotton dropped on the bed. She had not opened her eyes yet and it looked like she had no mood to do so. The fact that she did not even want to see me, hurt me like anything.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" Words failed me, and I could not say something in response. It was my fault, so how could I rectify it?

"Innaya, what's wrong? How did we end up in such a condition?" I helplessly asked. My voice almost choked up with the emotions.

Her lips stayed still, her complexion looked worse. She was suppressing her emotions, thoughts. Watching her bear everything and keeping things in her heart was making our relationship strain. She knew how much our relationship was suffering because of her silence, but she was adamant about not talking.

I cupped her face, wishing for her to open her eyes and look at me. I wanted to see my reflection in those talkative orbs. No matter how much she tried to suppress her emotions, her eyes would always reveal her innermost thoughts, fears, and emotions. Innaya slightly relaxed when I caressed her cheek with my thumb.

My gaze moved to her lips. Feeling them after so long had made me long for them. It was the only way I knew I could make her feel my apology. I didn't trust my words anymore. They had almost cost her a panic attack.

Leaning down, I captured her lips. Pouring my apology in my actions, I hoped she could feel my sincerity. I did not mean to hurt her, but I had ended up doing that. Ayesha had played a part in messing things. I just stayed like that for a couple of moments, pressing my lips against hers.

I wished I could take away her pain, but the time was not right yet. If I were to crumble now, Innaya could never overcome her insecurities. I wanted to see how long she could hide things from me, bearing all the pain alone.

I pecked her lips one last time before pulling away. She did not react, but I could see a tear trickling down through the rightmost corner of her eye. I quickly bandaged her wound and left the bedroom. The more

I stayed with her, the more I wanted to just end all our sufferings.

I hastened my steps and walked to my study. After the scene Ayesha had created, I did not want to see her for time being. The mess I had made would not allow me to be before Innaya's eyes for the time being. So, I locked myself in the study. I needed some time to cool down and think things thoroughly.

The first thing I did was to punch the wall. How could I hurt her with my words? Her crestfallen face, those endless tears, and how low she thought about herself- everything flashed before my eyes.

"Damn you Eshan Sighaniya! You don't deserve her love," I cursed myself.

I wanted to slap myself. How absurd I could be? I dropped myself in the chair, staring out of the glass window.

My mind reeled back to the events that unfolded a month ago when I was in London.

***

(Flashback)

***

"Damn it. Why isn't she answering my call?" I paced in the hotel room. From the moment our flight had landed, I was trying to call Innaya, but she wasn't answering.

Parth stood obediently in one corner as he tried to calm down the situation. "Sir, calm down. Ma'am must be busy."

"No matter how busy she is, she won't ignore my calls. It's the tenth call I'm making," I snapped at him. How would he understand the unsettling feeling in my heart? Since the moment I boarded the flight, my heart was in a weird turmoil.

"She'll call you back when she sees miscalls," Parth tried to reason.

"Something is not right. If only your mother was there with Innaya. I could have felt at ease," I sighed little regrettably.

"I know, Sir. But, Mom had to leave for my aunt's hometown. There's some family emergency. I'm sorry," Parth apologized with regret.

"Forget it." I waved off. If his mother had other matters to handle then it was not their fault.

"Sahil shouldn't have been allowed to handle this branch alone. Now, I've to clear the mess he has left behind," I muttered angrily.

I started regretting coming over. Only after arriving in the office of our branch did I understood that the situation had only worsened because of the negligence of the management. My stay here would be longer than I had anticipated because I had to uproot the whole management and such things took time. The investors, our partners were all the verge of breaking all ties with our company. The issue had escalated to the level where other people would not be able to do anything.

I was already frustrated with the incompetency of these people.

"Sir, you can contact those bodyguards you have left behind for Ma'am. They can check on Ma'am for you," Parth suggested after thinking for a while.

I stopped in my tracks. "Shit… How can I forget about Carl's people? Thank you, Parth." Turning my head towards him, I gave him a grateful smile.

"No worries, sir."

I dialed Raj's number, impatiently waiting for him to answer.

"Hel—"

"Is everything alright at my home?" I interrupted him as soon as he answered. I wanted to know how was Innaya. I just hoped that things were good at her end, and I was only being paranoid for nothing.