Chapter 191 - Flashback

| Innaya |

When I woke up, I felt my head heavy. Looking around, I tried to recall how I ended up on the bed. Just a couple of moments... it took me just a couple of moments, and everything flashed before my eyes like a movie.

'Hug me, please.'

I closed my eyes, clenching my fist.

Having him so close, after so long, felt so good. I wish we could just stay like that, forever, with him in my arms, and I, in his.

For a day, just for a day, I wanted to forget everything that was holding me back from reaching out to Eshan and let him know how awfully and desperately I had missed him.

I could not help the sudden wave of guilt that hit me hard.

I had pushed him away from me, and I was getting upset when he was being distant.

My mind traveled back to the time where we were just so content and peaceful together. That time, the hint of what was coming was far away.

***

(Flashback)

***

Gosh. I loved Eshan. I loved him so much. I could not believe my eyes when I gazed at the beautiful purple gazebo at the beach. The evening moonlight made it look absolutely ethereal. He was with me all the time. I did not even know when and how he planned it out and executed it that well.

I was in awe of the entire mood.

I turned to him as I gripped his wrist in excitement. "This is so pretty. When did you do this?"

"Magic." Eshan winked at me and I laughed.

I left his hand and walked further, exploring the surrounding. I would not lie; I was as excited as a kid. I did not know why though.

Do you have those some days where you are just happy for no apparent reasons? When you forget all your worries, all your problems and just feel merry at heart? I was having that day and Eshan's surprise dinner date just added on to my bright mood.

I rushed back to hug him. "Thank you so much," I whispered, smiling against his skin.

"I love you, Tesoro," he mumbled and I loved it even more. He had confessed his love to me earlier as well but... but I was admiring everything like I never did that day.

He walked me to the table. Being in his arms made me feel special, like a princess. He was my prince charming, indeed. He was my prince and he treated me like his precious princess. 

I could not resist leaving a small peck on his cheek before we sat down. Again, he had arranged my favorite food which I was no longer surprised about. That was just Eshan. He was awesome, a little too perfect for this awfully imperfect me.

After we had our dinner, he went on to his knees and held his hand out. I readily stood up and gave my hand in his. He smiled, standing up.

He sn.a.k.e.d his hands around my waist from back, pulling me swiftly towards him. I gasped with his sudden pull and our proximity. Regardless of how long we spent with each other, it seemed like I was always going to be left a bit taken aback with our closeness. That was just the kind of effect he had on me.

"Eshan," calling his name, my lips curled in a beautiful smile. He might not be a very romantic person to say cheesy lines to me every day like most of the men would do for their better halves, but he surely knew how to show his love to his love, his wife... his Innaya.

Sweet laughter escaped from my lips as his fingers brushed across my waist. "Stop it, Eshan." Pushing his hands off me, I stepped away from him. Turning towards him, I darted a fake glare at him, making my fake anger and annoyance pretty much visible to him.

But the next minute, my non-existent anger vanished off like water in a desert when I witnessed the cutest sight I could ever see... he mumbling a sorry, holding his both ears with his hands. I just lost my heart to him, again, the moment I stared in his eyes. Looking at him, I got lost into my own world. My eyes locked with his. Standing there, I could not look away. As I folded my arms to my chest, I sat back in the chair, admiring my unrealistically good looking husband. 

How handsome!

"Checking me out?"

I was snapped out of my imaginary heavenly world with his statement, which immediately made me stretch my brows, bringing a small frown on my face.

***

(Flashback ends)

***

I smiled through tears, recalling that evening. How beautiful things were. I could only sigh sadly, crying my heart out for the distance between us.

I stumbled out of our bed, which had turned to mine only from the last three weeks. We did not share the bed. I forgot how Eshan's warmth feels beside my bed. I forgot how he held me. I forgot how good sleep I had only when Eshan would accompany me.

Alas! Because of my decisions, I myself pushed away from the one responsible for providing comfort to my wounded soul. It was my decision, so how could I blame him for the same. I could not.

I could only bear the brunt of my actions. No matter how much I longed for the safety of his protective embrace, I could not ask for it. Earlier my defenses had weakened. I ended up asking for the thing which I should not have. I needed to hold my bearings, and avoid losing control over my emotions. 

I did not want to fall victim to my unstable emotions.

'Sigh.' 

A knock sounded on the door. I did not know how long I slept. I looked at the clock by the bedside first before wondering who was at the door. It was only more than an hour that I had closed my eyes for a brief nap. I bit my lip as I looked at the disheveled appearance of the woman in the mirror. 

I did not recognize her. Her eyes were sad, swollen, and red. She looked so alone that 

I had an urge to run away even from her shadows. I did not want to end up like her. In reality, the reflection in the mirror represented my reality. It was me. I had ended up alone despite being with the man who loved me more than anything in this whole world. 

The sound of the knock came again. Who was being so impatient? I pulled my bleak eyes away from my reflection; I could not bear to look at anymore. One part of me did not want to leave the safety of my bedroom. Then again, the person waiting outside could not be ignored. 

It must be Ayesha. 

Eshan would never knock on the door, would he? Have we grown that distant, that he needed to knock on the door? I shrugged my thoughts. No. It could not be that case. 

But, could I really face her with this appearance of mine? Absolutely, no. If my guess was right, she was here for my husband. If I went out like this, then it would give her the opportunity to have more ideas that Eshan and I were in a loveless marriage.

We loved each other. Though we were having problems, it did not mean that anyone could meddle in our relationship. I decided to tell her that I would freshen up before meeting her. I walked to the door, ready to have her leave. My hand on the knob trembled when I heard Eshan's voice from the outside. What was he doing outside?

"What is it, Ayu?"

Ayu? Since when he shifted to such intimate addressing? My heart felt a pang of jealousy. He never called me Innu. He always used his endearments. They were sweet, fluttering and expressing his love. However, why did listening to him addressing her so intimately was causing me to feel this emotion? I did not want to feel that. I did not want to be a woman who was jealous of the slightest interaction between her husband and other women. 

She was not any other woman. She was the person who had the capability of intruding in our relationship.

I stopped near the door. I did not mean to eavesdrop on their conversation. I just could not face Eshan after how I had behaved.

"Oh, nothing, Shan. I just wanted to chat with Innaya a bit."

"I told you she's sleeping. Don't disturb her. Tell me, if you need anything. Otherwise, you also rest for a bit."

"Great then, let's catch up on our past. I am not tired anymore."