Chapter 187 - Didn't seem like you two love each other.

|Innaya|

No one can predict what will happen in the future. I never thought that we would have this day in our life after what we went through. Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. I had seen his friends. They were never good news for me. Did I not have a very good experience? Sahil. Sameer. Barun. Karan. Mark. They all were in one way or another, Eshan's friends. I wondered how this friend of his going to turn into.

My hands, busy cutting onions, had no guidance of my eyes which furiously refused to leave the sight of Eshan. I could see his cheerful figure sitting on the couch in the hall right in front of me. With his friend, Ayesha.

Ayesha was apparently Eshan's childhood friend. She was ten when her family migrated to the US. She had appeared early in the morning at 4.30 AM when Eshan was deep in sleep. My weak slumber most of the time kept me on alert so I had quickly moved down to attend the visitor before the doorbell could wake Eshan up. She had a huge bouquet of red roses in her one hand and a large gift-wrapped box in another.

I was certainly taken aback when my gaze fell upon her for the first time. It was a little unexpected to have a lady come to their place with a romantic gesture. At first, I had thought I was thinking too much along the romantic lines. I had politely asked who she was and her first question was - who I was.

I wouldn't lie. It affected me a bit that she was asking about my identity in my own home rather than telling hers. The roses and the gift in her hand were already not helping me keep my sanity. Something about her and something about them felt off. Oddly off. I had mentally smacked myself for even thinking the same.

I hadn't missed the way her mouth had fallen open and her eyes had held the sheer disbelief in them as if she just did not want to accept that I was Eshan's wife, but she had quickly covered it up with a smile and let me know that she was Eshan's friend and was there to meet him.

I hadn't missed the surprise on Eshan's face either when I had woke him up, reasoning that there was a female friend of his who was over, after making her sit in the hall. He had scratched the back of his head, figuring out who it could be as she hadn't even told me her name.

By the time Eshan and I had walked down, we found her pacing in the Hall. Eshan had still looked clueless to me as if he didn't recognize her.

It wasn't unless she uttered Shan, Eshan seemed to have suddenly brightened up. He had rushed forward to engulf her in a hug and I... had not liked it. Though I felt it was awful of me to react mentally the way I did, I couldn't help it. If I did not like it, then I didn't. I was slowly learning to let go of denial and that was why I was accepting the reality that having Eshan that close to a woman did not please me.

Back then, when I had been ridiculous and accused him of having a relationship with some other woman, I hadn't felt this way. I was hurt then. I had felt cheated. The feelings were unhealthy and I knew it.

Now, it wasn't the same case. Despite the fact that I did not like the closeness Eshan shared with Ayesha, the emotion of being cheated wasn't even in the deepest corner of my heart.

Was I getting jealous?

"Ah," I winced in pain. As I looked down, I felt nauseated at the blood on the onions. Since my eyes weren't in coordination with my hands, I ended up cutting my own finger.

"Innaya."

I heard Eshan's scream as he left Ayesha and ran in the kitchen. I witnessed the same concern in his eyes that I always did when I was hurt and Eshan was around. I felt better. The pain was no longer on my mind. Having Eshan holding my hand tenderly had me forget every bit of the pain.

"Why can't you be careful?"

He dragged me to the sink and ran my finger under the cold water. Even his scolding made me feel so good that I began contemplating if I was becoming mentally unstable.

"I... am... okay," I stammered, taking my hand back from Eshan after glancing at Ayesha who had also come up to us. The moment I did that, his muscles stiffened and watching it broke me like it had been breaking me for the past month.

The unsaid, invisible barrier that Eshan had created between us had been tearing me apart little by little.

I wondered if he ever realized what his cold attitude towards me doing to me?

Was it even possible?

I lowered my gaze to conceal the thin layer of tears formed in my eyes until I fought them off and grabbed control of emotions.

"Are you okay?" Ayesha asked me, to which I just nodded.

"I am fine. You two sit and enjoy. I'll quickly get breakfast ready." I purposely avoided looking at Eshan. Not that he was looking at me anyway.

"Ayesha, you sit. I've some important emails to reply to. I'll be back in a while."

I did not know how much Ayesha could figure out from his tone, but I, for the one, knew he was off. So was I though.

But why the sudden change of attitude?

He was just giggling, laughing, and... enjoying with his best friend until the knife sliced through my skin. He was laughing like that... after so long.

'You no longer are capable of giving him any happiness, Innaya. You no longer are.' My heart sank at the realization. I picked up the knife again, resuming cutting onions. I shifted the onions to one side before I took some green chilies to cut, completely ignoring that Ayesha was still standing near me until she initiated a conversation.

Frankly, I wasn't looking forward to having one but nonetheless, I had to have one for she was 'his' friend.

"For how long you two have been married?"

My hands continued working and I remained visibly calm when in fact, I was frowning from inside. Did he not tell her? What were they even talking for the past two hours?

'Stop it, Innaya. Just stop doing it.' It seemed like I would have to remind myself not to let myself feel that weird emotion people often termed jealousy.

"You two had an arranged marriage, I am sure."

She passed a comment when I did not reply to her earlier. I didn't mean to do that though. I was just lost in my thoughts but the recent statement she had just made... kind of offended me. It didn't seem to be said with a good intention to me.

I poured a little oil in a pan and as I waited for it to get heated, I gave a bit of my time to Ayesha. "What made you assume that?" At that moment, 

I did not care if I sounded rude. Not that she was being too sweet to me anyway.

"Didn't seem like you two love each other."

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