Chapter 155 - Nightmares Of Losing You!

|Innaya|

I watched Eshan for quite a while. My eyes had refused to lose sight of him. However, I did not want to be discovered by him, so reluctantly I retreated. Eshan needed quality time with Fortune and his own self. The way both of them were occupied with each other, it made me feel their bond.

It was the time to get over my cynophobia for Eshan's sake. One day or another, Arjun would take away Fortune. Looking at how adorably Eshan cared for Fortune, I knew he needed a pet. Keeping my fears in his mind, he wasn't bringing any at our hone. I needed to be brave and learn to be accommodating to dogs for him.

After glancing for one last time, I left the two of them in the garden. The gloominess I felt at not finding him on the bed finally evaporated in the thin air.

He was fine, at least physically.

***

After finishing my morning routine, I went to the kitchen. Eshan was yet to return from the garden. I decided to prepare breakfast for him. From the last couple of days, only he was taking care of me. I decided to do something for him in return. Making banana pancakes for him seemed the best choice.

I was lost when I entered the kitchen.

The breakfast was prepared already. I clearly remembered it was not there when I came before in search of Eshan. At that time, there was nothing on the countertop.

I opened the lid of the pan. The smell of freshly cooked spicy semolina porridge wafted in the air. Along with it, the ginger tea had been brewed already.

How long I took in the shower? I wondered

"Good morning!"

Startled, I was about to drop the lid of the pan. I had not gotten over yesterday's crackling from the beach. Fortunately, I managed to hold myself properly and saved the trouble of dropping the lid.

Placing lid back on the pan, I turned off the flame. I turned my head and saw Eshan standing at the head of the dining table. I wondered where he emerged from. Instead of a white t-shirt and black trousers, he had changed into one of the grey suits. He looked more handsome in it. I smiled finding that his eyes had regained their calmness.

"Bad morning."

"Huh?" He frowned at my weird answer.

"I don't like waking up to the cold bed." I pouted, complaining like a child, taking a step at a time. "Where were you?"

"Don't you know the answer? Someone tried to be sneaky, but failed." A playful smirk made way on his thin perfectly shaped lips.

My heart flipped at the way his Adam's apple moved. Registering his words rather lately, heat rose in my face after getting caught. I thought I was being careful. I had no intention of hiding from him, but when he had not noticed me in the garden, I chose to watch him in secrecy.

"How are you feeling?" Unexpectedly I asked him something which was not even close to his greeting. I noticed the surprise flashing across his face before his face settled back into that calm facade.

I moved on my feet and got closer to him while his eyes followed me. He failed to keep curiosity out of his black orbs. Either he did not know what I was talking about, or he did not want to talk about it.

Coming to stop before him, I smelled the refreshing scent of pine trees along with the lasting fragrance of lavender. The later half smelled like my body wash. Surprised, at finding my body wash on him, I could not help but glance brightly at him. That bite mark at the corner of his lower lip was a strong reminder that I was the one to leave that mark.

Inching closer, like a piece of slow music that grips around our heart, I wrapped my hands around his strong body. I could tell, he was surprised by receiving my hug.

I held him, trying to forget last night from my mind. Last night, he had stirred a couple of times. Every time made me feel more helpless. Whatever nightmares he had, I wished to chase them away. It was my wishful thinking only. I had felt the thudding of his heart, every time his nightmare surfaced. I kept him in the solidity of my arms, hoping to help him battle the demons that were overpowering his mind. His forehead had broken into a sweat, and even his hair had turned damp.

Each time he had stirred, he had responded almost immediately to my voice and touch of my hands that were caressing him continuously. He had snuggled in me as if he felt the protectiveness of my arms. The extent of his nightmare had worried me, but it had somewhere made me feel worthy of his love.

Up to now, it was always him, who provided me comfort. It was him, who had wiped my tears, consoled me, and chased away demons of my nightmares for me. For once, I had gotten a chance to do the same for him. That knowledge itself, made me feel good about myself.

Eshan sighed, his sturdy chest moved with the tension leaving his body. "My beautiful wife looked after me. How could I be not fine?" His large palm covered the top of my head.

Huh?

How did he know that? He was sleeping, wasn't he?

I tipped my head back as I tried to break the hug. Eshan didn't allow that. He spun me around and hugged me from the back as his forehead came to rest on my shoulders.

"You weren't sleeping?" I asked, feeling conscious of my actions. I had no clue how to react. My reactions from yesterday came naturally, and they depended on the fact that he was not awake. Not that I would not have done the same if he was awake, but it would have saved me the trouble of worrying about him for the whole night. It would have helped him to relieve the burden from his shoulders. He had spent the night in the clutches of his nightmare. It could have been avoided.

"I was," Eshan whispered in my ear as he tenderly kissed the flesh of earlobe. "I was sleeping, but sometimes I remember my nightmares if I woke up having one. So, I knew about my nightmares. And, from the way I clung to you, how would I not know what must have happened." His lips trailed downward and his soft, smooth lips found the spot where my neck and shoulders met on the right side.

It tickled. I moved aside my head a little.

"D-Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Turning in his cotton-like hold, I gazed at him.

"Nothing new. The same old one." Eshan sighed.

"Old one?" I frowned. He never told me that he had nightmares, nor did I notice.

I was a very light sleeper. Slightest of sound would break my sleep. How did I notice him having nightmares often? Was I being too ignorant?

Back of his knuckles tenderly moved across the right side of my lower jaw. The light inside his eyes died down a little as profound sadness occupied them. "Those days I spent without having you by my side. I used to have these nightmares then. Nightmares of losing

you…" his heavy voice recited the origin of his nightmares.

I had not expected him to answer so easily. Given his nature, I knew he would not want to trouble me. I thought he would keep it hidden in the depths of his soul, never letting me know anything- anything that could cause me to feel worried for him. I was ready to coax the truth out from him at cost of whatever it took. However, all my plans deflated in the thin air.

The truth behind the nightmares that were pulling him in the darkness stunned me. A heavy stone crushed my insides, and inhaling a breath past my throat seemed impossible. An invisible force gripped at my throat, making it hard to squeeze out any word.

***