Chapter 151 - Between Denial and Acceptance (3)

|Innaya|

We left the hospital after Eshan was assured by the neurologist. I never knew he could have more questions to ask than me. It seemed as if he had done his whole research. He talked so eloquently about those medical terms that I was left awed by his intelligence. I did not realize five hours had passed.

In those five hours, the MRV was done, along with the other blood tests Dr. Riya had asked. Thankfully the brain scans came normal. We showed them to the neurologist, Dr. Iyer. He said that everything was normal, nothing to worry about. According to him, my headache and fainting were because of weakness and stress.

I did not know as much as Eshan knew. Hearing him ask those questions had me wondering how capable my husband was. In the end, the doctor had said that he knew his work. In all honesty, Eshan was right. We had a right to ask questions, and we needed to utilize it.

Not every doctor and hospital could be trusted blindly. Just like in any other profession, there were good and bad people in the medical field too. As he was someone, suggested by Dr. Mittal, we could trust him. However, how keenly Eshan almost interrogated him despite that fact had me feel proud of my husband.

As we sat in the car, I picked up the bottle of water from the dashboard.

"Feeling satisfied now?" I teased Eshan once I drank the water.

"Are you? You are the patient here. If you don't feel comfortable with this doctor, we can see someone else." Eshan turned in the driver's seat as he explained.

He was being serious. This thoughtfulness of his always warmed my heart.

"No, it's fine. Didn't he say it's all because of low hemoglobin? We'll know more about it once lab results come out and we see the gynecologist again. Then we'll just go with her treatment. All right?" I shook my head.

"I think we should see the hematologist too. It would be better in my opinion," Eshan said as he ran his fingers through his hair.

His thoughtfulness was good, but that meant visiting more doctors. The thought itself was scary, and it made me choke on the water I had just gulped.

I rubbed my chest as I gave him a look of pure disbelief.

"Don't you think it's enough for today?" I raised my eyebrow once I calmed down. Eshan smiled sheepishly. This was the first time in the whole evening which had turned into a night that smile had kissed his lips. I sighed internally.

"So, should we go home?" He raised his eyebrow as he turned on the ignition.

I looked ahead in the night. I did not wish to go home just yet. After spending tiring six hours in the hospital I wanted a change in my surroundings. "I don't want to go home yet," I told him the same. I would be anywhere but home.

"Where would you like to go then?" Eshan steered the car out of the parking lot of the hospital.

"Anywhere, but home," I answered immediately.

Eshan looked at me for a while when I immediately answered.

"All right. Let me take you to the beach today. You'll enjoy there."

"Ok."

* * *

There were no stars in the sky. The black, empty sky without moon and stars was not my favorite scenario to see. It reminded me of that night when I was locked away on the terrace. That night had instilled fear of many things in my mind. Fear of dark nights was one of them.

I would never be out alone if there was darkness. I loved nights, but I feared them as well. Perhaps if I would tell someone this, then they would ridicule me for it. How could love and hate the same thing simultaneously? I did. And, I was not ashamed to admit it.

'We don't have control over what others think, all we can do is to trust ourselves. We need to have trust in our selves.' These were grandpa's words. I believed them blindly, for they had encouraged me to trust myself.

And, somehow I was able to put that trust in my husband. As we walked barefoot in the water, with our hands intertwined, I could just look at our joined hands. The light coming from streetlights, banners, and the traffic from across the road, made up for the lack of moon's presence.

The waves coming from the ocean kissed our calves and died down. We did not need words as we could enjoy the silent company. The heaviness of the last couple of days was being washed away in the peacefulness of the night. The part of the beach we're walking was not that crowded compared to the one ahead of us.

Other than us, there was one figure at a further distance from the shore. We ignored that person's presence as he seemed to have fallen asleep. I cared less about anyone at the moment other than the man walking beside me.

I looked at my small feet. Before Eshan's feet that looked strong, firm and beautiful, my feet seemed very small. His steps were steady, not clumsy like mine. It had taken me time to adjust with walking in the water with the sand slipping under my feet and me losing my footing after every single step. I had never visited a beach in my life. This was my first time being on the beach.

However, Eshan didn't help me outright. He waited for me to learn on my own. He guided me silently through his body language. I copied him, and though it took me time to adapt it, eventually I succeeded.

His actions reminded me of my grandfather. My grandfather had once taught me how to fight. It was his rigorous training in martial arts every morning that had piqued my interest when I was around twelve years old. He never forced me to learn. I would just sit in the corner, watching him.

"Ahh!" I shrieked when I felt something slippery sliding past my ankle. My thoughts revolving around grandpa also broke because of it.

Eshan was startled as well, and he immediately held me before I could fall.

"What happened?" He urgently asked.

"T-there's something on my ankle. It's moving. There's something-" I babbled, panic hitting me out of nowhere. Was it a snake? I was afraid of the serpent. My father had once locked me with a black snake. Though that snake was small and in a glass bottle, my child version didn't know that. I had thought it would come out at any moment from that bottle. Tears sprang in my eyes recalling that time.

"It's just a piece of cloth, sweetheart. Look, it's nothing to feel afraid of."

Eshan at some point in time had removed that thing from my ankle and held it within his finger. I looked at that worn-out cloth in his hand. My eyes slowly regained their focus as my memories stopped resurfacing.

It took me a moment to realize that it was nothing dangerous. I blew out a breath of relief, finally getting my bearings back. It was just a moment of panic and my heart broke into the marathon. Even a slightest of thing was able to pull me back into clutches of my past.

Eshan threw away that cloth and proceeded to take me out of the water.

Rightfully so, it should be what I would have done. Instead, I refused to move.

"In the novels, I had read, there was always a scene between the couple on the beach. Do you mind helping me recreate the one?" Eshan asked me when he saw the reluctance in my eyes. Definitely, along with that reluctance, there was that lingering fear in my eyes.

I stared at him with growing curiosity. His impromptu words took my mind off the things for a while. I wanted to know what scene he was talking about. He reading novels was also new information I got to know about him.

"What are you talking about?"

Eshan left my hand. I instantly felt the loss of his warmth. I had my back to the ocean as I waited for him to say something. The wind blowing messed up my hair and made me shiver. I wrapped my arms around my middle, to help cope up with a drop in temperature.

Eshan calmly gazed at me with his lips gradually turning into a smile. He slowly inched forward. His eyes turned darker, and that heart-melting smile was still there on his face.

"I think we should leave. I'm tired." I didn't know why I was being conscious suddenly. Maybe, the growing intensity in Eshan's eyes was making me feel little jittery.

The smile on Eshan's face only widened. He moved more into the water as his right hand went behind my back, slowly pulling me closer.

What was he trying to do?

"Won't you help me?"

"H-help?"

Eshan's breath fanned my face as he leaned down while holding my chin, he raised my face upward. I blinked. My hands were still wrapped around my stomach, and they were sandwiched in between our bodies.

"Hmm."

"W-what?" I stammered. It didn't even felt this nervous when I had pecked him for the first time. I didn't even feel this nervous when we had our proper first kiss. I didn't even feel this nervous when we were in each other's arms. For some unknown reasons, being held in his arms like this way felt much more intimate.

Ideally, I should have been aware of the place we were standing in. We're out, in the public area. Being intimate in public places wasn't something I was fond of. However, being in the present position, my mind refused to think anything else.

***