Chapter 137 - How about I help you in changing?

|Innaya|

Numb.

I could not feel my body anymore. All my senses had stopped working. I knew I needed to get out of this illusion. It was over. That nightmare was long over. It had been so many years to it. He was not coming back. Arjun had also mentioned that. He had told me that my father wasn't coming back. Grandpa had also said that.

I was safe.

Grandpa had saved me.

Grandpa had brought me back to life.

I knew it. Yet, I could no longer shake away those cognitive distortive tricks my mind was playing with me.

Grandpa, I needed him. I wanted him to chase away my demons, the way he had done from my childhood.

My mind had stopped working long ago. I could see nothing but the face of my father closing on me as he strangled my neck.

Then, I realized grandpa had left this world. He had left me with the man he trusted the most. Eshan, my husband. Where was he? Why was not he pushing away the man strangling his wife? What was he doing?

I wanted to call him, but my father's grip didn't allow it.

He was winning. I could see it, I could feel it. He was close to achieving his purpose. I was close to losing my senses as lack of oxygen made it difficult to remain conscious.

Abruptly, the huge pressure from my neck was lifted off, but it was late. My father's purpose was filled, my body stopped breathing. The last thing I saw was the way his lips curved in that gleeful sinister smile.

*

*

*

Cold.

I shivered.

Why?

Why was it so cold?

I gasped, my body suddenly reacting and greedily gulping down a mouthful of air. Thank god! I could finally breathe. I could finally see beyond my illusion. I had finally gotten out of the cage my memories had created.

Against the pressing force of water, I blinked my eyes. The face of man, worried to the death, was looking at me with his forehead pressed against mine.

Were those tears in his eyes?

My eyes sought my husband's face standing before me. He was dripping wet. Water droplets were cascading from his head to toe.

Eshan suddenly leaned down and placed his head on my shoulder. He tightly hugged me.

What happened to him?

I ached to call his name, but my whole energy was drained. Even moving my arm felt a hard task, my throat also hurt.

I squinted my eyes as I tried recalling how I ended up in the bathroom. We were in the bedroom, weren't we? Eshan wanted to look at my scar. I had allowed him. Then what happened? How we ended up in the bathroom? Under the shower?

Closing my eyes, I stayed in his arms. Thinking about those questions gave me a headache.

Under the falling water, held in the embrace of the man who loved me dearly, had me feel safe. There were so many things going in my head. There were so many things I was skeptical about. However, once I felt Eshan's warmth, I could finally relax.

Being in his arms allowed me to recall what unfolded previously. After recollecting what led to my panic attack, I pondered why I reacted so extremely. What evoked so strong illusion that felt so real?

There had to be the reason for such kind of strong panic attack.

In all those years, my panic attacks had reduced gradually and they were controllable. After that phase of the panic attack would end, I was able to function normally, while coping with the aftereffects. Then what was different now?

Eshan slowly lifted his head, and that halted my thought process. His eyes intensely gazed into mine, leaving me to wonder what was going on in his head.

I did not know what had happened when I was having a panic attack. Eshan was left to deal with it, alone. I did not know how he must have reacted.

"Are you okay?" Eshan asked as he caressed my cheek.

I blinked my eyes. It was the only reaction I could give. Even nodding in response was not possible for my tired self to accomplish.

Was it the aftermath of having a panic attack? I did not remember having such kind of reaction after any of my panic attack. Something was different this time. Something was awfully different.

"Tired?" Eshan asked as his one hand reached behind me and turned off the shower. The water falling on us stopped, helping me to open my eyes easily.

I sagged against his chest. I could not understand the reason behind my fatigue. Then, there was that penetrating cold too. Was water that cold? I shivered.

"Do you feel cold?" Eshan brought me out of the shower cubicle towards the basin as he peered down at me.

"Hmm..."

I could not see him though as I had closed my eyes. I needed some time to recover. My whole body felt lethargic and if not for

Eshan holding me, I would have crumpled on the ground long ago.

"How about I help you in changing?"

I did not understand what he was asking. I just hummed in response. "Hmm..." I felt my arms being raised.

"Cold," I mumbled. My eyes fluttered when a sudden gust of cold air hit me. My teeth chattered.

Through my barely opened eyes, I saw that a white towel was wrapped around my body, and Eshan was in the process of removing my clothes.

What was he doing?

I closed my eyes again. I did not know what was happening anymore. It was as if I was drugged, there was that strange heaviness in my head. I could not understand what was wrong with my body.

"Cold." Then there was that damn cold. Winter was still not here, then why the hell such damn icy coldness was gracing me?

"It's almost done, sweetheart. Just a minute," Eshan spoke from somewhere close to me. By then, I had almost lost my awareness of my surroundings. I relied on my husband to take care of me.

My brain seemed to have stopped working too.

Even in my hazy state, I was aware when my feet left the ground. I thought I was going to fall.

*