Chapter 78 - Assurance Of His Words

|Innaya|

Finally.

With a tremendous amount of effort, I finally managed to change into a T-shirt and shorts Eshan left on the bed. They were very loose for me. The sleeves of the T-shirt slipped from my right shoulder, and I had to keep it pulled up, and those shorts though thankfully reached past my thighs till my knees, yet the elastic was little loose. I secured it with the pin I had with me.

After making sure that I was presentable and cleaned as much as I could do with bandaged palms, and only a wet towel, I debated on how should I call Eshan. It was quite an awkward situation for me.

Until now, everything happened so suddenly that I had no chance of registering anything. Eshan had that effect on me. Everything related to him would occupy my whole mind, leaving me unable to process other things— just as it did before. I had forgotten my pain and obeyed him.

I was truly hopeless.

The knocking on the door broke the dilemma I was in. "Are you done?" Eshan asked.

"Yes," I answered him.

The door opened, but no one came inside. I frowned being conscious of keeping the T-shirt on my shoulders. I craned my head to take a better look outside and see where Eshan was. However, all I saw was an empty corridor.

Where was he?

Soon I spotted Eshan's figure, I sat properly when he neared the door. He entered with a tray in his hand. Eshan stood when his eyes found mine. His brown eyes flickered all over me as he took in my figure clad in his clothes. I nervously tugged at the T-shirt pulling it more on my shoulders. I hoped I was not looking ugly.

Eshan averted his eyes and walked more into the room.

The forgotten dinner was arranged in two plates. He placed the tray on the bed and left again. This time, when he returned he brought the medicine box along with him and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Here. Eat your dinner. I'll take a look at your knees," Eshan forwarded the plate towards me. My heart melted, and pained when I saw how he had only brought pulao mixed with kadhi pakoda. He remembered how I ate kadhi, moreover how

I didn't like cabbage paratha and capsicum. I didn't know anything about him, and he knew everything regarding me. What a contrast!

I sucked a deep breath when Eshan's hand, held my bare leg to access the condition of my knees. Eshan's eyes snapped to mine while he retracted his hand. "Is it hurting a lot? Do you need painkillers?"

"No, it's okay." I shook my head in denial. 'How do I tell you that I was startled by your touch?'

Eshan watched me for a while before he picked the plate and handed it to me. "Start eating."

"Eshan, it is fine, I'm not hungry. I'll just go back. Thank you for taking care of me," I nervously replied to him. I destroyed his dinner, then how could I have mine peacefully?

Eshan sighed. The vein on his forehead throbbed. He didn't say anything but gripped the cotton ball, and without anymore delay pressed it on my right knee where I had scraped the skin. I hissed in pain. "Ahh. It hurts."

"Oh, you can still feel the pain?" Eshan sarcastically snapped. I could see his tolerance was ending. Or was it anger for my impatience of getting away from him? Whatever it was, but it shut me up effectively.

Eshan's movement turned gentle when I started eating. He even blew the air after cleaning it. I found his action amusing, and I even forgot to eat as my mouth stayed open, my hand holding the spoon hung in the air.

Eshan's chuckle brought me back to the present. Embarrassed, I quickly closed my mouth. Averting my eyes, I focused on eating. The antiseptic liquid burned, and I had to stifle back the painful moans. When Eshan had bandaged my palms and arm earlier, it had also hurt. Why did I run out in the wrong direction?

"Why?" Eshan voiced the question with little alteration.

"Huh?" It was not that I didn't hear him clearly, but I failed to understand the context.

"Why did you run away?" Eshan repeated his question, this time asking the full question. He wanted to know why had I ran away, and I also wanted to know, but why in the wrong direction.

By this time, Eshan was done with his work and kept away the medicine box. He now gave his whole attention to me, and his brown orbs waited for my answer. He didn't rush me. How should I tell him that I didn't deserve him? How should I let him know that he better leave me? He was so good, and he deserved the best. I was nothing but a nuisance for him.

"Innaya. Have I lost the right to know your feelings?" Eshan's hurt voice straight away lodged like an arrow to my heart.

"No, Eshan. It's not like that." I shook my head.

"Then what is it? Please, say it. Why would you run away and hurt yourself? I understand that you feel guilty for not knowing about my allergies. However, is that reason enough to lose your rationality? What if something serious had happened out there?"

Eshan didn't shout nor did he raise his voice, but his eyes screamed the anger and worry he felt.

"I don't deserve you." There. Finally, I admitted it to him. "You are so good, you deserve the best. Just an allergy, you say, but is it only that? No. I know how serious allergies can be. Don't behave as if it's nothing. What kind of a wife I am? After marrying you - except for bothering you - what have I given to you? Nothing. I don't even know your likes and dislikes. I don't know what you're allergic to. I don't know about my in-laws. I never tried finding out. What must they be thinking? That they married some burden to their perfect son."

I lifted my teary eyes at him for by then, I had completely lost control over my emotions. As I spoke more, I broke more.

He was silently staring at me as if he had expected everything that I had just said to him.

"I have been a pathetic human all along. I knew how I was. I knew I can never give anyone happiness. I knew I will only torment anyone I stay with. Yet, yet, I dragged you into my darkness, ruining the perfect life that you were leading. I should have denied the marriage proposal. I had