Chapter 51 - Life without Eshan (1)

|Innaya|

Arjun's words brought another set of fresh tears in my eyes. My vision blurred and I flinched at the reality of his words. I watched Arjun leaving without sparing me a second glance and without telling me about Eshan's whereabouts. I wrapped my arms around my stomach, an unconscious habit I had developed over the years. I closed my eyes and blinked back my tears.

The emptiness in the room was eating me and every inch of it reminded me of Eshan, highlighting his absence and agony in my heart. Dragging my numb and cold body I reluctantly entered the bathroom. Stripping all of my wet clothes on my way, I finally found myself under the shower head.

Turning on the warm water I was getting drenched again for tonight. This time instead of cold water splashing angrily on my whole being, it was just the opposite but it just reminded me of the same incident from earlier. Eshan's words making the analogy of shower and rain were still fresh in my mind.

I shuddered under the water, hugging myself tightly, missing him and his warmth. Not caring how much time had passed I stood with my eyes closed and head lowered, trying to hold myself together. Images of our time together kept flashing like a movie in my head and I couldn't help but long for those happy times.

Not understanding what came over me but I found myself reaching for Eshan's body wash.

'Maybe, I am turning crazy.'

Squeezing the tube I took a generous amount of gel on my hand and lathering it under the water, I applied the foam on my body. Covering myself completely with foam I felt rather better as if the smell of it reminded me of the owner who it usually belonged. If not for the continuous knocks on the door, I would have preferred staying covered in the foam for it provided me little comfort.

Quickly rinsing my body, I reached for the towel to dry my wet body after answering Arjun to give me some time. After wiping my body, I searched for something to wear only to realize I didn't bring a set of clothes to change into, not even undergarments. It wasn't new though, lately, I often forgot things being too preoccupied with my thoughts as they revolved around certain someone with warm brown eyes.

Taking the white bathrobe hung outside the shower wall, I changed into it. Walking outside the bathroom I made my way towards the wardrobe. My stupid heart acted on its own accord and instead of finding my clothes I opened Eshan's side of clothes.

The first thing that came in my line sight was the dull maroon tie. I gulped the lump formed in my throat as the memories related to it resurface in my mind. I took it in my hand and with my fingertips caressed it lightly. A small smile touched my lips in a very long time as the smooth silk cloth brought the incident that happened in the second week after we came to Mumbai.

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I clutched his tie near my heart as the ache in my heart reminded me of my mistakes. It just took one false accusation to ruin the beautiful relationship that was growing slowly between me and my husband.