Chapter 40 - Ayush's anger and Eshan's guilt!

|Eshan|

I felt the pain as if someone punched me in my guts and stabbed me repeatedly with the knives without any mercy as Innaya's tear stricken face flashed in front of my eyes. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with tears and she assaulted her lip brutally, only to control herself from shattering.

She left just like that, without even letting me apologize or explain. 'God! How much I hate myself for putting her through this.' I closed my eyes in despair.

I should have listened to her but the meeting was scheduled long ago and was very important. If only I knew, that this could stretch so long and I would land in the hospital, I would have done everything to avoid it. I did not regret going to that meeting, as it was not professional but personal. Delay for it could have cost me a lot, not as if it wasn't costing me anything now, it did, Innaya's tears.

Making her cry was the last thing I wanted to do, ever. She didn't know what her tears does to me, they grip my heart and leave me with never ending agony of their scorching heat.

I turned my head towards Ayush, who had entered with the doctor after Innaya had left. "Where?" I inquired to Ayush who stood silently beside my bed while the doctor was checking me.

Ayush ignored me completely. He asked the doctor regarding dos and don'ts, alongside many questions about health and discharge. Once the doctor left, Ayush busied himself with his phone without paying any attention to me. I could understand his anger but it was not the time for that, I wanted to see Innaya, badly.

"Innaya?" I tried once again, unable to handle the heavy feeling in my heart. I hissed as the sudden sharp pain shot in my arm, where they had pierced needle in my skin for the drip.

Ayush strode towards me holding my hand, halting my movements. "Careful."

"Where is Innaya?" I didn't care if I sound desperate but I needed her.

I needed to see her and explain. It wasn't her fault. I saw the guilt and self blame in her eyes and she needed to know that it wasn't her mistake. If there was anyone to held responsible, then it was me.

"Home," Ayush replied monosyllabically, glaring at me.

"You aren't going to be discharged until morning, so she went to fetch some clothes and food for you. She went with Arjun," he extended, maybe, because he saw the devastated look on my face.

Ayush occupied the stool near my bed, pulled his damn phone, and engrossed himself in it. His jaw was clenched and I could see how his fingers were furiously working on his mobile. I could literally feel the anger surrounding him.

I closed my eyes before I let out a sigh of defeat. Ayush was the calmest and understanding person amongst five of us, and it was very rare for him to get angry over something. However, I knew this time his anger was justified and because he cared for Innaya as much as Arjun cared. Though he had not met her, that much or talked to her as Arjun did but he had a special and important place for Innaya in his heart.

"Go on." Only those two words were required for Ayush to unleash his fury.

"You moron, when you know you can't handle being drenched, then why the hell you did that? Forget that. Who am I talking to? Nothing goes in that dense rock head you got there. I understand your fetish for rain but why now? You have Innaya. Why don't you understand that you have her responsibility? " He paced in front of my bed, occasionally shooting daggers in my direction.

"She is distressed because of this stunt you pulled on her. You donkey, monkey, pig. Do you know how hard it was for her? I feared she would pass out because of how worried and scared she was. No, she is, she is scared, worried... terrified to be precise. Couldn't you stay at home for one day?" Ayush nearly shouted in the end before he took deep breaths to control himself.

His words only added more to my guilt.

I lowered my head in shame.

"It was important," I mumbled not because I was terrified or something, but I felt difficult to speak as my thoughts circled around pain I gave to Innaya, unknowingly. Tears gathered in my eyes but I blinked them back.

Ayush slumped on the stool. "Tell me honestly Eshan, was it more important than her?"

I looked away, avoiding his questioning gaze. I did not want to continue this discussion with him at least not right now, when all I was thinking about being with Innaya.

"When is she coming back?" I asked impatiently cutting the tense silence in between us.

"She isn't."

My eyes snapped at that. 'What? Why? Why wasn't she coming back? Is she that angry? Is she so upset?'

"Ayush, please don't try my patience. I am already having a terrible headache, don't make it bad." I was on the verge of pleading to him for bringing Innaya to me.

"You deserve it. Why make life miserable? Sometimes even after being your best friend, I don't get you." Ayush commented before he exited the room, leaving me all alone to deal with my own depressing thoughts.

I glanced at his retreating back with remorse in my eyes. Nobody would understand the reason behind my actions but honestly, I don't regret doing what I did. Even if someone were to rewind time, I would still have chosen to attend that meeting. Only difference, that I would have informed Innaya beforehand and would have taken better care of myself.

However, the moment I closed my eyes, Innaya's pale face flashed in my mind and I couldn't help but curse myself for her current condition.

*

More than your tears, your silence hurts,

My heart aches and feels the burns,

How I wish to rewind the time,

Yet I am helpless because of my crime,

I am the sole reason behind this whole mess,

I am the reason you lost that smile from your face...

I am the reason you lost that smile from your face!