Chapter 35 - Does Eshan, know about your PTSD?

|Innaya|

After relishing the delicious food made by Amma, Arjun and I sat in the study. Amma was leaving today for pilgrim and Eshan went to drop her at railway station after we had our brunch. I'd wanted to tag along when Amma asked me to stay back, saying Eshan would be back soon and she did not want the teary goodbye at the railway station. Reluctantly I had agreed to her and here I was with Arjun, waiting for him to start his interrogation. After a long silent period, when he said nothing, I thought I should explain him in bits.

I opened my mouth to speak when Arjun asked, "Innaya, since when it all started?"

"Long time ago," I truthfully answered before I could stop myself. I was not sure why I answered him but now as I answered I waited for his reaction. I could always leave the conversation if I don't feel like answering.

"Does Eshan, know about your PTSD?"

"How... how do you know?" I stammered as he pinpointed the actual term. I stared horrified at his place. 'Was he a spy? Did he hire any detective? Has he gone through my medicine pouch? Has he told Eshan?' The number of questions swirled in my head as I tried to make sense of his words. I could feel sweat beads starting to form on my forehead.

'Take a deep breath, Innaya take a deep breath.' I chanted it in my head.

"I take that as he doesn't know, yet." Arjun slouched in his chair as he gazed at his wrist before his fingers played with his wristwatch.

"I have gone through the same. I have my own demons and I do know how you feel. Trust me I do." Arjun smiled sadly before he asked, "Have you taken treatment for it?"

"Yes," breathless, I replied. What was the meaning of this conversation? He surely wasn't coaxing me into telling him everything. I was grateful for that.

But looking at his cheerful personality, who would think that he was suffering from something like PTSD?

"Eshan helped me, knowingly or unknowingly. He'll help you too. Just let him in. It may feel difficult, you would want to hide those scars from him, but it's not worth it. Your past is not worth your future. Never let it ruin your relationship. Never ever," Arjun stated but it felt more of the brotherly advice.

There was unhidden pain as he talked about his issues and Eshan's support.

"I am not going back on my words, I called you my sister and it's going to be same now onwards," he added sincerely, looking straight in my eyes.

I couldn't help but think about his past. His sad blue eyes were holding the pain in them. His distress was palpable and I could feel the pride he had for Eshan and concern for me in his voice.

I gazed at him, trying to discover something I didn't know.

"Tell me your story?"

Arjun asked.

"What story?" Fear once again gripped me, thinking about what he was asking. Was he asking about the trauma or stress that led to my PTSD?

"The one when you felt it was love at first sight and decided to spend your life together for eternity with my stupid friend." Arjun chuckled playfully. Just like that, sad Arjun was gone and cheerful Arjun replaced him.

"There was no such thing," I replied, knowing full well that he was in a teasing mood.

"Like hell, there was not. If it was no such case then why you guys got married in such a short time. Please don't give me the excuse of auspicious date," Arjun scoffed as if he felt we lied to about it.

Who wouldn't? We lived in a modern era and things like this were considered jokes for many out there.

"Why don't I answer that question for you my dear friend."

Eshan's voice sounded from behind and I turned to see him throwing daggers at Arjun.

I sighed in relief as Eshan returned back to handle his playful friend. Moreover, somehow, he understood my silence and not for once probed me for information.

However, this question had reminded me why and how I agreed for this marriage. All because of Grandpa's letter, he had left behind for me.