Chapter 20 - Are you comfortable with this intimacy of ours?

I removed my reading glasses after I had commented on the recent update of the story, I was reading. I kept them on the side table along with my mobile as I saw Eshan coming out in his white and black nightwear. I pulled the covers till my chin as I adjusted my head on the pillow beneath it.

l"I did not know you were a fighter. Tell me about it." Eshan propped himself on his elbow before he turned towards me, after making himself comfortable on the bed beside me.

"I have a black belt in karate. Grandpa had enrolled me in self-defense classes when I was 14," I answered closing my eyes. Grandpa had enrolled me because he thought that I needed a distraction, I needed a medium to let out all the bottled up emotions and it did provide me one.

"Oh, that's great!" Eshan mumbled. I couldn't see what kind of expressions he had but I could detect the faint trace of smile and pride from his voice.

I then remembered about piles of shopping bags in the living room. "Your friends said that they were unaware about our marriage," I asked.

"They were. What about it?"

"Then what about those gifts?" It truly had puzzled me. I wanted to ask this earlier but given that we weren't alone I had refrained from asking.

"Oh, that! Those troublemakers got two hours gap in between knowing about you and actually meeting you in person. Knowing them, they wouldn't want to meet you empty handed and Sahil was still not here so I guess he became the delivery guy." Eshan laughed freely and I couldn't help but feel the love he had for his friends.

With that topic and Sahil's name, I recalled that Sahil had punched him and my eyes opened with a jerk as my mind went to the visual of his bleeding lip. I turned towards him and in the dim light tried to make out the injury on his face. As if in a trance, my right hand went to his face, cupping it, while my thumb gently rubbed the corner of his lips. "Is it still paining?" I asked as I felt him leaning into my touch.

"No, you took care of it," Eshan whispered gazing into my eyes. He turned his face a little and placed a soft kiss on my palm.

That small action brought me back to reality and I hurriedly took my hand back, while I felt the heat rising in my face as the pink blush slowly started intensifying. I took deep breaths, at the same time tried to be discrete about it, as my palm across my stomach above the covers curled into the fist.

"Innaya," Eshan softly called my name and that was enough to increase my heart rate. I failed to understand why though. He wrapped his palm around my clenched fist, silently urging me to open up. He intertwined his fingers with mine.

I hummed in the response, as I tried to ignore the butterfly sensation in the pit of my stomach, due to our close proximity.

"Well, I am sorry for the earlier behaviour. I know it was uncalled... I was worried," he admitted in the low tone. I had understood from his behaviour that he was feeling sorry.

"Eshan, I am sorry too. You know, there are many things we are not aware of about each other... We just need time," I half apologized and half confessed.

"I know," Eshan mumbled as he brought our joined palms near his face before he placed the lingering kiss on the back of my palm.

"Innaya." I turned my attention to his eyes that were busy in concentrating on our joined palms, as he held them close near his heart. He took some moments as if he was gathering his thoughts. He started after he let out a heavy sigh, "Just don't drift away from me. I understand everything is new... I am unable to put it in the words but I feel horrible when I am not able to help you. I feel worthless and I do not like that feeling. I have told you and I am telling you again, I love the beautiful smile on your face. I do not like to see the worry, panic, or fear in your these eyes. I absolutely hate the idea of anything causing you pain."

He tightened his hold as if he thought I would run away from him. His eyes gazed into mine as if searching for any kind of sign before he continued, "I am not saying all this so that you feel obliged to share, whatever the problem is. All I have said is because I want you to know that you are not alone, I am there with you, for you. You remember when we met for the first time. I had told you, I am doing this because I want to, not cause I need to."

"I am not sure what triggers those sorts of reactions from you—"

I opened my mouth to say something but I couldn't. Eshan just smiled. "And no, you do not need to tell me. All I am asking is, try to trust me. I know it isn't easy but it's not that difficult either. God, I am rambling, ain't I?" His face scrunched up before he hid his face in the pillow.

"Eshan, I get what you are you trying to say. Trust me I do." I let fingers of my free hand, gently run into Eshan's hair. At that moment, he resembled like a child to me trying to hide from his mother when he stole candy from the jar. He confessed what I was feeling earlier. I knew what he was going through.

"Innaya," he spoke still laying in the same position, on his stomach with his face pressed against pillows. His voice came as muffled one.

"Now what?" I asked with a small smile playing on my face. His hair felt soft and silky against my skin. I had never touched them or for that matter, I had never initiated anything from my side.

He slowly turned his face, directly looking into my eyes before he started, "I have never asked you."

I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

Eshan continued, " Are you comfortable with this intimacy of ours? I want you to set the pace of our relationship. I don't want to rush you into anything. Hmm? So?" I withdraw my hand abruptly as all the feelings came back with more intensity.

I covered my face with the cover, tightly shutting my eyes as my heart started beating louder. 'Why on the earth he had to ask this. God! How am I going to face him now? Talk about the embarrassment. Seriously?'

Eshan chuckled loudly while trying to remove the covers from my face. "Innaya," he called out innocently but I knew better. I knew better than to fall for his act.

"Good night Eshan," I mumbled, as the shyness got better of me.

Somehow, he managed to sneak inside the cover, putting his arm across my stomach. With his face snuggled into my neck, he softly whispered in my ear, "Good night torta di compleanno."

"What was that?" Breathless I whispered, knowing he would hear from such close proximity. His warm breath tickling my skin while his fingers leisurely roamed above my kurti and I felt like they were touching my skin.

"That's for me to know and you to wonder," he playfully stated.

"You-" I did not know what to say in the response.

"Yeah, I, your very own husband my dear wife." He pulled me closer and placed a small kiss in the crook of my neck. I felt the unknown emotion but surprisingly comfortable one taking over. I let all my thoughts rest aside as the last thing I remembered was his kiss on my forehead before his gentle patting lulled me to the sleep.

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