Chapter 311 - My SI Stash #11 - Journey of A Visitor by UncrowdedKingofAsh (Pokemon)

-Recently uploaded SI Pokemon fic~ Pretty glad to see more of these as they are kind of rare. Eevee as our MC's starter, so here's to hoping we get a Sylveon, the best eeveelution there is!

Synopsis: SI gets sent to the Pokemon world. What's the worst that could happen? Well, off the top of my head, getting inter-dimensionally kidnapped by a literal god, getting chased by every poison type under the sun, everyone's mother hating you for some reason, and a prude of a starter that won't even let me curse! My dreams of becoming Champion of Sinnoh die a little more each day.Rated: MWords: 18KPosted on: fanfiction.net/s/13599958/1/Journey-of-A-Visitor (UncrowdedKingofAsh)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀) -I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

As a kid, I always wanted to become a Pokemon Trainer. Get a Piplup, Catch a Riolu and train a Lucario to absolutely decimate Sinnoh, and end up as its champion. Sinnoh was my favorite region, in the games and in the anime, so it'd have to be there if anywhere.

Now that I was in the middle of my teenage years, my dreams of becoming Champion had died away when I became cognitive enough to realize that things in games and cartoons aren't real. But out of all my crushed dreams, Pokemon was the one I stuck with because it was still hella fun; no matter how watered-down the difficulty had become.

Why am I reminiscing so much? Well, you end up isekai'd and stranded in a forest the second you walk outside your house, you end up feeling a bit nostalgic, alright?

I had packed up for a camping trip with my friends, some of which were going to end up moving out of the area, so this was treated as one last hoorah, and a chance to get shitfaced and maybe pity-laid for the rest of them. Me? I was just going to get shitfaced and hang around the people who were going to inevitably get even drunker than I was so I can egg them into doing some dumb shit.

I had snickered and smirked the whole time I had packed, thinking of what pranks I could pull on those impressionable lemmings. I had ended up with multiple sets of clothes, with food, a flashlight, my phone, a backup battery, headphones, and the Swiss Army Knife in my olive jacket, to prepare for any Slasher movie shenanigans, as I was on a trip surrounded by mostly white people, and I was not going to be the one of African descent that gets immediately killed like the victim of some ethnic cleansing.

So, imagine my surprise when the second I stepped out the door, I was suddenly in a forest surrounded by buzzing bugs and chirping birds.

So, which Slasher movie villain can do that?!

I blinked, and quickly turned behind me, where the door to my house used to be. Instead, I saw the rest of the clearing behind me, with weird-looking berry bushes.

Now, in my nerd brain, I only had two possible explanations. I either discovered the ability to fast travel, or I am living out the fantasy of every otaku, and have been inter-dimensionally kidnapped into a world where cool shit exists.

This is either amazing or going to end up killing me, isn't it?

I began to scan the area, hoping to find the tutorial NPC for this place, when a loud buzzing broke through my concentration.

A buzzing that was progressively getting louder.

Using the power of my bloodline, I ran the hell away and into the trees. And away from the completely unmuffled noise from the insects whose size I never wanted to find out.

As I ran from them, I heard them f.u.c.k.i.n.g speak!

"Bee..."

"...Drill?"

Many questions were both answered and raised at that moment. I was in the world of Pokemon! Being chased by a Poison-type with arms that could probably pierce through a car! Man am I glad I'm not a f.u.c.k.i.n.g idiot.

Though, how and why can the literal insects sing-song their names in a way that absolutely terrifies me? As well as still follow me through this dense-ass forest when I've been getting bitch slapped by almost every branch I've come across?!

Then, to top off my misery, I end up tripping in a fashion so unimaginably exaggerated that I end up sprawling into the dirt. F.u.c.k you too, forest.

With potentially murderous Beedrill hot on my trail while I was still smarting from my impromptu flight, I noticed something I could've run past without ever noticing.

A shrub that looked like it took steroids. It was absolutely massive and big enough to hide my body, and hopefully scent as well if the scent of wildflowers was anything to go by.

When I imagined adventuring through the Pokemon world, army crawling into the shrubbery to escape impalement from one of the weakest Pokemon types was not what I had in mind.

When I ended up underneath it, that sweet smell multiplied tenfold, making me gag. I was never big on sweets, and this was way sweeter than frosting.

Ignoring my bitching, I dragged myself completely underneath the plant so some stray limb didn't stick out and alert my pursuers. I guess all the retconning I did in movies was worth it.

... I only do that at home, with people who did not pay to watch those movies.

"Vee?" I turn my head in time to gaze into an Eevee's amber eyes. My eyes scan the place I barged into. I identified a pile of half-eaten berries on the ground where the smell was strongest and the fact that this entire bush was elevated to accommodate the width of my body and the height of this Pokemon.

Great, I just broke into a Pokemon's house. Really living up to the standards of a champion.

"Sorry, some Beedrill are after me, I'll get out of your... fur." It f.u.c.k.i.n.g nodded. God, talking to animals that understand you is weird! Well, when in Rome...

Before I could even twitch, a very spear-like appendage stabbed through the leaves covering the Pokemon and I. It went flying up with it, chuckling its name as a second one aimed its spear-hands at me. Why would it-

"F.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.kf.u.c.k-" Without thinking I rolled away from the spot that was now riddled with Poison Stings, scooped up the Eevee who I had inadvertently rendered homeless into my arms, and ran like the wind. With the stunned buzzing fading away behind me, they weren't expecting me to go from belly down to Usain Bolt in less than two seconds.

Somehow I ran through the forest better than before, probably because my fight or flight instinct went overtime. Then, I remember I had a passenger and looked down at the Eevee struggling in my arms. That was when it decided to bite my thumb.

The constant stream of profanities that came from my mouth only made it bite down harder. Then, the buzzing came back as I began to lose steam. Great, just what I needed, more Pokemon who want to attack me! What could possibly make this day any better?!

Well, when the Eevee heard the buzzing pick up, it stopped biting at my hand and started shouting its name at me. While adorable, I had to remind it I didn't speak Pokemon.

"Eevee, I can't understand what you're saying! Eevee for run faster, Vee for watch out."

"VEE!"

Well, that made things simpler. A quick look ahead showed nothing obvious, so that leaves-

A side-step sent a Beedrill hurtling into the ground and all the rock it hopefully got impaled by rocks. Better it than me.

A quick shout of thanks was drowned out by an "EEVEE!"

So, he forced himself to sprint forward as a noticeable tick-tick-tick was heard behind him.

The first thing he learned about the Pokemon World: He hated Beedrill. And probably most other bug types.

Another "VEE!" sent him out of his inner grumblings as he looked ahead. There was something neither tree brown nor plant green. He impulsively ran forwards, hoping someone who could fight this Beedrill was there-

Just to be send sky high by another tree root. God damn forests.

Well, as my fellow victim and I tumbled through the air, I noted the fact that a bunch of poison stings were flying right where I would have been if I hadn't tripped. So, silver lining.

Then one of the Stings ricocheted of a random rock and into my arm. Nevermind, f.u.c.k you Mother Nature.

Once again skidding against the ground, which burned my arm to no end, it seemed this was the end of the line for me and the stunned Eevee in my arms. Well, at least the ethnically diverse cast member isn't dying first.

... Shit.

Starring up at the red-eyed bee, it's spear-hands gleaming with energy, only one thought crossed my mind.

I'm about to be killed by a f.u.c.k.i.n.g Bug-Type! Well, at least this one has a Mega Evolution...

As the Beedrill prepared its finisher, a blotch of gray moved in my peripheral vision. Suddenly, the coldest breeze I'd ever felt came rushing towards me, and the Beedrill was hit with an Ice Beam. It was super effective, and the Beedrill fainted on impact.

I was very glad the twitching insect before me didn't end up killing me because that was just embarrassing. I gratefully looked up at my savior, a gray, snooty looking cat with a tail that looked like a spring.

The second thing I learned about Pokemon; Cats hate Beedrill too.

I was just saved by a literal house cat. Suddenly being killed by a rampaging Poison-type didn't seem so embarrassing.

"Thanks for saving us, Glameow," I said, noting the tilting of the Pokemon's head. "But I've been hit with a Poison Sting, so could you take me..." Is it bad that I was about to say owner? Well, I'm blaming culture shock for that one.

"... To someone who knows what I should do with this?" I asked, using the hand wrapped around Eevee to point at the stinger embedded in my arm. God that looked almost as bad as it felt. There was purple poison leaking from the hole, and it reminded me of battery acid in a way I did not appreciate.

The cat nodded at me, then walked up to me. Was it going to use a move to cure me? I don't remember one that could-It then Yawned in my face, and as I yawned in return I fell asleep.

"AAAH-" I screamed, went upright, and went to grab the source of my pain when a hand grabbed my left wrist.

I turned to see... Dawn from Pokemon?

My shock then reverted to understanding when I remembered I was kidnapped. God that sounds like I've developed Stockholm Syndrome.

She gave me a look of concern mixed with pity. I broke her gaze when I turned to see my arm, bleeding but no longer oozing toxins so that's a step up. And the one who held the needle was Dawn's Mom, who's haircut looked as awful as ever. Seriously, a bowl-cut? C'mon woman, have some standards.

"So, which one of you owns the Glameow?" I asked, mostly to stop the two of them from giving me those concerned stares again. It made me feel like I f.u.c.k.i.e.d up and got injured.

"Me." Said Dawn's Mother. I obviously knew that already, but what else am I supposed to say? 'You have a shit haircut,'? Maybe after I ensure she's healed me I can start ridiculing her.

"What kind of idiot are you?" Ok, maybe now was the time to insult her hair. "Why in the world you go back there, the forest is sectioned off in that area for a reason! You and your Eevee could have been killed just for entering the Beedrills' territory."

"Excuse me," I said in an attempt to defend myself. "But in case you weren't aware, I am not from here, and have no idea how I got in there. I was walking out of my house one moment, and was in that f.u.c.k.i.n.g forest the next."

Apparently Dawn didn't take to my swearing, if the sudden tightening of her wrist is anything to go by. Neither did her mother, by her slamming the needle onto the table next to the bed I was currently laying in.

"Excuse you, I'm the one who had taken you and your Pokemon to keep the both of you from dying, so you should watch your mouth here." I hated her tone. I hate it when anyone talks down to me, and I hate being treated like a child. But, acting angry because she wasn't treating me fairly was exactly what a child would do. So, I inhaled deeply and exhaled. That always cleared my head.

"I'm sorry, but today has been extremely shi- shoddy. I appreciate the assistance, and- What's wrong with Eevee?" In case you hadn't guessed by now, I am easily distracted when I am not focusing. She raised her blue eyebrow at me condescendingly, but I was already over her reprimanding attitude.

"Your Eevee was poisoned as well, though through a much shallower wound and much longer ago. That a trademark of those Beedrill in that forest, as there aren't any Pecha berries in that forest, so if you didn't have any items, you'd have to either escape or die trying. So, my daughter and I had to use our Antidotes on it and some medicine for you. Now, let's make sure you don't die before we play twenty questions." Suddenly, I was remember of the pile of half-eaten berries in Eevee's now non-existent home.

I nodded, and laid back down to let the anime women do their thing. Translating features from anime to real life was supposedly difficult, but both of their skin was as smooth as it was when it was just a solid color. Wait, how do I look compared to them?

All wondering burned away as my wound was filled with medicine and disinfectants. I grit my teeth, trying to ease my mind away from the pain. Soon enough, I had my arm cleaned and bandaged. It now only hurt like the first circle of hell to move my right arm. Too bad I'm right-handed.

"Alright, time for twenty questions yet?" I asked, rubbing my hand over the bandages at the kitchen table. The two of them rolled their eyes at me, but nodded. We had decided to have the conversation in a place where I was upright, and we all learned that I was the tallest one there.

"Cool, what region am I in?" Their nonplussed attitude evaporated at the question.

"Uh, we're in Sinnoh," Dawn answered me. I sighed; it was just for clarity's sake, but at least it cleared up one thing. This was all Palkia's fault.

"Is Cynthia still the champion?" They nodded. Ok, making sure I wasn't in an AU or crashing into someone's fanfic.

"Has Professor Rowan given out the starters this year?" Dawn's eyes widened at that.

"How did you... No, he's giving them out in about 2 weeks." Ok, so two weeks before Ash comes and Rowan makes Dawn go and retrieve Pikachu for him.

"What's your connection to Professor Rowan?" I asked the soon-to-be Coordinator.

"Uh, I work as his assistant." Ok, so AU of anime mixed with games.

"Who's the current champion of Kanto?" This time, Dawn's mom narrowed her eyes at me.

"Red." That actually doesn't help.

"Who's the champion of Johto?"

"Lance." Ok, so no manga, which is sad.

"Where's Eevee?"

"Lying in Dawn's room." Answered Miss Dawn's Mom. God, does no one in this franchise have a father?!

"Could you get it for me?" I asked both of them.

"Why?"

"Because I feel uncomfortable enough being nursed to health by a mother and her teenage daughter, and I would rather get hit with 100 Poison Stingers than go into a teenage girl's room whose mother I'd just inadvertently cussed out," I explained with fake severity. Dawn snorted at it, and I chuckled dryly.

"Dawn dear, you get it." Don't want your daughter to deal with a strange man on her own? Good mom. The teenager walked up and into the house, I had no idea how to navigate.

"So," the mother I still had to deal with asked, "Why were you in that forest?" She leaned forward and looked at me with her most serious look yet.

"I got teleported/kidnapped and that was the place I ended up." She snorted, similar to her daughter, though her amus.e.m.e.nt was less founded.

"Teleported by which Pokemon that can't use it that lives in that forest? The Beedrill, or your Eevee." I feel like I'm being interrogated.

"Neither, obviously. I'd say it'd take an extremely powerful Pokemon to take me here from where I was."

"Oh? And what Pokemon would that be?" She asked me condescendingly. C'mon, am I really that untrustworthy that you feel the need to interrogate me the second your daughter leaves the immediate vicinity? And I thought NPCs in Pokemon were nice.

"I'll give you a hint, it starts with a P and is the God of Space." She then slammed her fists on the table. I'm surprised none of her furniture has a permanent fist mark on it yet from how often she does that.

"Tauros-shit. Why in the hell would Palkia want to drop you in some forest in Sinnoh when you're obviously from somewhere else!" And Dawn was offended by my cursing for what reason?

"Because I live in a region where Pokemon don't exist." She then gave me a look completely different from anything she'd done so far. Not concern, not irritation, not mistrust, but the look you give someone that you aren't sure is not insane.

"That is the worst lie I've ever heard." She finally muttered.

"Do I look like I'm lying? Besides, that Eevee isn't even my Pokemon." She raised an eyebrow at that.

"Well that isn't surprising, compared to the whole 'Pokemon Aren't Real' lie you're spitting. If you live in a place where Pokemon don't exist, then how do you know what a champion is? Or what it means to own a Pokemon?" She questioned. If I wasn't so good at faking emotions I would be sweating bullets.

"Well, not exist isn't exactly the best term for what it is. More like, Pokemon don't live in my region, but we know the general knowledge about them. Like Pokeballs and Legendaries or whatever. They're just extinct where I live."

"Then explain how you know Professor Rowan." She instantly pounced on the weak point in my arguments, but it was a trap.

"If I know a region and I know it's Champion, I would believe it wouldn't be a stretch to think I'd know it's Professor as well." God what the hell is taking Dawn so long to get Eevee? Hurry up! Your mom's going to murder me if you don't get here fast!

"..." She looked as if she's processing this. I hope she crashes because this is way too stressful for the beginning of a Pokemon journey. Oh, you've been dropped into a world of childlike wonder and fantasy, where the power of friendship is a legitimate ability! Good luck being interrogated by a single mother after being turned into a human pincushion!

"...I guess that makes sense." I waited, expecting more questions to bullshit my way through. But, none came. I sighed in relief.

"What's got you so relieved?"

"I don't know, maybe the fact I've been freed from a mother's interrogation and the fact that Dawn can now finally bring Eevee in here," I answered, looking into the hallway I knew Dawn had gone and eavesdropped on us. A small eep escaped from the hallway, and I leaned back in my chair smugly while Dawn came in with Eevee. I would be upset that she'd left me in here to suffer by the hands of her mom, but the look said mom was giving her meant that I'd gotten my payback.

She sat down with Eevee on her lap, who immediately turned to me and Eevee'd something I didn't understand. Whatever it was, caused Glameow to laugh from wherever she was in the house.

"I don't know what you said, but I'm going to assume it was an insult you Pocket Monster." I narrowed my eyes at the Pokemon, who looked oddly smug. Then the cat walked in from wherever it was and talked at it's owner, who snorted.

"Eevee apparently said, 'You better not have sworn while I was gone.' It really knows you too well." Apparently being insulted by a fox is enough to lift the mood. But, I still had one question.

"So, why are you both so suspicious of me?" Dawn took her turn at looking at me like I was an idiot.

"You had a knife in your jacket." Oooohhh. Makes sense.

"Ok, so this is a big misunderstanding then. The Swiss Army knife is actually camping gear, and it isn't just a knife. It's also- I'm getting sidetracked again." I clicked my tongue and shook my head. I need to reign that in eventually.

Instead of contemplating I looked at the Eevee. God (Or is it Arceus now?) give me some luck for this shitty day. You owe me.

"Hey, Eevee, got a quick question for ya." A curious look for everyone in the room followed me. God I hate asking people for things, even more so when we have an audience.

"Vee?" It tilted its head at me. Arceus that's so cute.

"So, let's say a guy gets stranded in a world where everyone's goal is to be the very best like no one ever was. And his goal is- Alright I give, you wanna be my Pokemon and train to beat Cynthia?" I asked bluntly.

Eevee narrows its eyes at me ever so slightly, and I now recognize it as the 'I'm an idiot' stare. It then exhales and tries to jump onto my lap from Dawn's. Eevee falls down in the middle of the gap between us.

"Ok, guess that's what we've gotta iron out first," I say gruffly, with my audience snickering around me. I get out of my chair and pick up the slightly humiliated fox in both my arms.

"Well, it looks like I've caught an Eevee," I say with a ghost of a smile.

After staying the night in a guest room, with a very cautious Glameow guarding the door while I try and fail to converse with a sleepy Eevee, I finish our game of twenty questions for all the information I need to start my journey.

Apparently, the starters that Professors give are earned from having the highest grades in the Trainer's School, while all the Youngsters and Students gain starters from graduating from there, though the starters there are usually just pest-like Pokemon. Like Ratatas and Zigzagoons. Though, most other trainers are given Pokemon by their relatives or buy one.

Yeah, for all the talk of friendship and treating Pokemon as equals, breeders exist and sell Pokemon who have matured enough to no longer need their parents or anything similar. Still, that also told me another thing; People don't need a Trainer's license to become trainers.

Though, it is commonly agreed that getting a license is the superior route to become a trainer. As it gives a monthly stipend for combating wild Pokemon and taming them, as well as protecting random people and towns along the way, it is a superior source of income to a Non-Licensed Trainer. Also, fun fact, Licensed Trainers are the ones who get to use the Pokemon Centers for free. Everyone else who uses it ends up inadvertently increasing their taxes or just straight up paying the fees. Ha, sucks to be those guys.

As an American, when I heard free healthcare I was already on board. And for my Pokemon too? Say less.

The only reason that Non-licensed trainers even existed is that this is essentially elementary school. Aka, it takes forever to begin. Think of Non-Licensed trainers as people who have been homeschooled, and who can't afford the fee for the exam that the schools pay for themselves.

So, you think I'm f.u.c.k.i.e.d sideways from this, don't you?

Well, I am amazing at cramming for tests, and besides, I've played every Pokemon game (Except Galar). I think I can handle it.

The thing I can't handle, most likely, is begging Professor Rowan to pay for me to take the exam.

Y'see, I packed a multitude of things when I prepared to go camping. Money for the Pokemon World was not one of them. And the worst part is, this place's money works like Yen.

I don't know how to forge yen. I don't even know what the regular prices for things in yen actually are! The best I can do is compare to USD and pray to Lord Helix that I don't get robbed blind.

So here I am, six hours after I left Dawn's place, to beg for the opportunity to learn from an old white man.

I hate it when history repeats itself. Especially at the expense of my pride.

To be honest, this seems a lot more like a Professor's lab than it was in the games. Mostly by the fact it's gigantic, with windmills and solar panels surrounding the place. Guess Rowan is all about green energy, huh?

I rapped my knuckles against the glass panel door and waited. There wasn't a doorbell I could ring, and I already moved enough to disturb the sleep of the Eevee in my arms. Right, need Pokeballs too. I don't want any evil Teams chucking Ultra Balls to catch my only 'Mon.

So, as I wait here, I look at the shaking mess of hazel fur cradled in my arms. Eevee apparently needs a lot of sleep to work off the poison that was in his system. I remembered the berries in his old home. He was probably devouring any berry he could find to cure his poisoning. Right, him.

Before anyone assumes anything weird, I asked him if he was a boy or a girl, a la Professor Oak.

... So many Pokemon references no one will understand here. It's enough to make a man cry. Like how long it's taking for someone to answer the f.u.c.k.i.n.g door-

Apparently, cursing mentally is a great way to make things happen, because a brown-haired girl in a lab coat opened the door. She looked at me like I was some statistic she wanted to solve and dispose of as quickly as possible.

"Yeah, can I speak with Professor Rowan please?" She sighed deeply, and I could tell this was going to be taxing.

"Of course you want to speak with Professor Rowan. Why couldn't you stop to think that maybe I knew that's who you wanted-"

"Miss, I hate to interrupt your venting, but am I the person who you really want to vent to, or am I just the replacement because you can't be bothered to yell at the actual source of your frustrations." That shut her up. She narrowed her eyes at me, then sighed.

"You're right, sorry. Just... people are-"

"Absolute d.i.c.kheads? You betcha." Apparently Eevee wasn't as asleep as he seemed, because he immediately bit my thumb again. God, he's such a prude. Still, I held my tongue and gestured at the bane of my existence.

"Now, may I please speak to Professor Rowan, before my Eevee decides to turn me into his personal chew toy." That got a quick laugh out of her, and she waved me inside. I tore my gaze from her exceptionally long ponytail to look around.

The inside was full of machines and tubing and paperwork, with a distinct lack of assistants to manage said paperwork.

"Wow, I'm glad I'm not a scientist," I said bluntly, which made my guide mutter something that vaguely sounded like she wished wasn't one.

Eventually, after stepping over some wires that would, and I quote, resemble my god damn atoms, we made our way to Rowan's office. She didn't even bother knocking, and just barged in with no hesitation.

"Dad," DAD?!"You have another visitor."

The (Sinnoh) Pokemon Professor looked up from a file and narrowed his eyes at me. I stared ahead, with my usual apathetic demeanor, which made him turn to his apparent daughter.

"Really? I'm surprised you didn't rip his head off his shoulders."

"Let's not assume she didn't try," I said immediately. I'm sorry, I have an aptitude for banter. Rowan immediately returned his gaze to me.

"Oh, and praytell, visitor, what have you come here for? Do you want one of my starters? I'm sorry to say I already have three takers for those, so you can be on your way." The dismissive attitude told me he gets that same question far too many times to bother making a new response for them. So, I just raise my Prude of an Eevee in front of him.

"Don't need one, already got this guy," I said, absentmindedly copying the scene from Lion King with my Pokemon. That seemed to get his attention.

"Oh finally, someone who doesn't want one of my Pokemon. Thank Arceus." The Professor said, slouching back into his office chair. "Now, tell me lad, what is it do you want if not that?"

"I want to take the Trainer's Exam," I said, and that gained his actual attention.

"I'm sorry to say that a Non-Licensed Trainer cannot gain a license after they have caught a Pokemon." He said, white eyebrow raised in interest.

"Good thing I don't have any Pokeballs. This guy is caught only in name, so you can see why I want to be a trainer so no one can steal him right out from under me." I held back a snicker as I saw Rowan's increased interest in me. Apparently, being able to catch a Pokemon without a ball is extremely rare, so they'll see me and the money it'd take to pay for the exam as an investment.

"Hm, well I would be more than honored to let a trainer of such potential." Easy peasy, now he'll pay for me to take the exam and-

"Darla, my dear, could you take him to a testing room and set him up with the newest iteration of the Trainer's License Exam?" Wait what? What kind of father names their daughter Darla? I half expect her to spit into a spitoon and pull out a shotgun. Or am I just being prejudice?

Damn, I am aren't I? Fine, keep an open mind, or something.

Also, he can just give me the test? Wow, thanks for informing me of that little detail, DAWN!

Darla Rowan just nodded and walked out of the room as I followed. I was kinda hoping to study a bit, because this is an AU and I have no f.u.c.k.i.n.g clue what got altered from canon. Hell, Ash might not exist for all I know! Wait, if he didn't then the world would've been destroyed before I even got here. So I do know that Ash is alive.

Maybe I have this test in the bag.

F.u.c.k this test. Why the f.u.c.k does a test on how to be a Pokemon trainer have 75 questions?!

It wasn't like they were difficult for a PokeNerd on my level, but the answers were written out. And everyone knows the Writing Exams are the most tedious to accomplish, and in one sitting no less.

And here I was, in the last stretch of this exam. 3 questions left.

73: Mew is an extremely rare Pokemon, the forefather of every Pokemon, as they develop from its form into what they are known as today. What makes this Pokemon a Legendary instead of a Mythical Pokemon?

God, how do people in this world even know the answer to this question? Well, a free answer is a free answer.

The most likely answer for that is that Mew is a Pokemon that can learn every Move imaginable, from the Aura Sphere to Dragon's Ascent. As well as the fact that Legendary Pokemon are known to be stronger than every other type of Pokemon out there, though not to say they are unbeatable.

74: In the Kalos Region, multiple stones are found nearby colonies of select Pokemon. They are known as Mega Stones. Explain how they function in the process known as Mega Evolution.

Alright, time to show everyone why Game Freak should have stuck with Mega Evolution instead of Z-Moves and Dynamaxing.

Mega Stones are known as a Pokemon's version of a Key Stone and are just as necessary to Mega Evolution as the Mega Ring. Mega Evolution is a process known to be accessible only to certain Pokemon, and only if that Pokemon has a strong bond with their trainer. It is known that Mega Stones are used as mediums to concentrate the bond of the holder and its Trainer to turn their relationship into physical power. Mega Stones are specific to the breed of Pokemon, ex: A Lucarionite cannot be used by anything other than a Lucario. Although, I have a theory that Key Stones are actually the Human Equivalent of a Mega Stone, in practice that would beg the question that two Pokemon would be able to Mega Evolve with their own bond, and without a Trainer. As well as the fact that the usage of Key Stones have no effect on humans. Though, maybe it is just the effect of how the Mega Ring is constructed that makes it so the Key Stone has no effect.

In case you couldn't tell, I really love Mega Evolution as a concept. Alright, final question.

75: What is the catch rate of the elusive Master Ball?

Ah, trick question. Nice try, but get that shit outta here.

Unlike the common consensus that the Master Ball has a 100% catch rate, it actually has a 99.99% catch rate. So, while it may feel like it always works, there is an impossibly slim chance of the capture to fail, and if this ball is used on a Legendary or the like... Well, just pray the 00.01% isn't you.

As I finish the test, and crack my back against the chair I've been stuck in for two hours, I have to say that this test was a nice brain teaser for me. I feel only good things coming from this.

As I hit the final button to record all my answers, a thought occurs. If a human could Mega Evolve... what would happen to them?

Eh, it probably wouldn't work. Besides, it's a fact that humans and Pokemon are completely separate things. You don't hear me going around chanting my name for all to hear.

What's the worse that could-

Oh shit. I hope things only happen when you think the entire sentence.

Who am I kidding, I'm f.u.c.k.i.e.d.

SI-OC coming through, make way.

I hope I haven't disappointed you all too much with this. I'm just doing this because I want a fun story that I can f.u.c.k around with. Besides, sometimes writing about your self can be as insightful as it is fun.

Thank you all for reading, and I'll see you later

Off to FF.net for more~!