Chapter 168 The Past - Part 8

Eventually, she seemed to be listening to every word I had to say.

My words did not reflect my feelings whatsoever, I was merely reciting the best method to calm her down. Though, it was nearly impossible to notice that there was a distinct distance in my words. After a little while, I decided that I'd ask her for more details on why she was curled up in a ball before, that should've been my final step before I decided to leave.

"Hey, why were you sad before?"

"All of my friends thought it was funny to ditch me."

"You think they were just joking? Maybe they came back to look for you after."

"No, I know they don't like me, but I hang around them anyways."

"I see now."

"What were you doing here?"

"I was just bored, I don't have much to do on the weekends."

"Do you hang out with your friends?"

"I guess not."

'ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs, ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ᴠɪsɪᴛ Novel(B) in.ᴄᴏᴍ ᴛᴏ ᴇxᴘᴇʀɪᴇɴᴄᴇ ꜰᴀsᴛᴇʀ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇ sᴘᴇᴇᴅ.',

I didn't really have friends. A necessary part of being an outcome is being able to adapt to any situation. Lingering feelings like love and friendship usually cause problems in decision-making in difficult situations. Sometimes you might be able to escape, but if you're too busy worrying about others and trying to protect them, you might just trap yourself.

Although that wasn't really the biggest reason why I didn't have any. Back in the facility, everyone was pretty isolated, and our social skills were mostly honed for utility, so it was very difficult for us to have genuine connections with people. We usually only pretend to like others, whilst having very little actual care for them. The disconnect is what usually causes most of us outcomes to be pretty distant from others.

We are all very capable of acting very personable and extroverted, however, unless it directly impacts our mission, we usually don't care enough to do so. Outcomes don't really worry about anything except our missions, we don't feel loneliness or sadness.

Well, I guess I'd speak for myself here. Some of the outcomes might be a little less aloof than I am, we were all different after all. Hannah is capable of finding at least some enjoyment in shopping in the mall, however, I'm not able to see anything interesting here. I've always wanted to learn how to enjoy myself, my life of pure apathy is completely devoid of any stress, which I assumed was a good thing, however, my lack of care for anything, meant that I felt as if I had no purpose. Well, I suppose that wasn't completely true, I still did have my mission after all.

"Let's go get something to eat."

"Okay."

"What's your name?"

"Asa Himika, what's yours?"

"William, William Hunter."

She led me to a small restaurant which only had a storefront. There was a large communal sitting area in the centre of the food court, so it was more of a 'takeout-only' type of place. Apparently, she said she liked it, I didn't really mind what food I ate, it was all the same to me in the end. She went and ordered something, and I just asked for the same.

"What do you like to do?" I asked her.

"I like movies and singing."

'ɴᴇᴡ ɴᴏᴠᴇʟ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ᴘᴜʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴏɴ N(ov)elBin',

It was a pretty generic response for what a teenage girl around my age would answer. She still hasn't asked me why I talked to her in the first place, I guess she just doesn't want to accidentally push me away.

I had watched quite a few movies back in the facility, although I never really got invested in any. I watched them more for educational purposes, like knowing more about pop culture for the purpose of helping me in the future. We always thought of everything as an opportunity to better our own knowledge and capabilities, we never seemed to enjoy something for what it was.

We slowly finished our food.

I wasn't really sure what we were going to do at this point. I wanted to go back soon because it was getting pretty boring here, at least back at the boarding house, I could read a book or something. I only wanted to help her get back onto her feet, becoming her friend wasn't really my intention from the start.

The two of us sat silently as we looked at each other.

It seemed she didn't know what to do either. I suppose I could go into the bookstore and have a look around, although our school library already had a pretty large collection, purchasing one wasn't all that necessary. I heard that some people enjoyed the feel or the smell of new books, although I didn't really mind, either way, I cared more for the content than the feel.

My life was pretty pointless though. I would read books all the time although I never really used the information for anything. It was like endlessly stocking up on money, just never use it. My mission wasn't all that reliant on any of this anyways.

I often heard the other students discussing love and all it's intricacies. I had once been curious about love as well, although not enough for me to actually go out and experience it. I suppose I did want to feel what it felt like, the way I hear it being described, it seemed like something rather interesting. It was practically impossible for me, however. I simply am not able to make a deep enough connection or even come close to feeling what others feel.

I hopelessly wondered if one day, randomly, I'd start feeling these feelings. I suppose if it ever were to exist, they'd probably just come out spontaneously. All I did now though, was blend in with everyone else, staying out of the spotlight. There were many scientists and politicians alike who wanted to use us. If we went out every day flaunting our capabilities, it wouldn't be long before we got caught. I had heard of some other outcomes who had gotten kidnapped by these associations, although the more capable ones, from what I hear, never seem to worry about stuff like this.

I was always confused when people said I was special.

I'm just another outcome, aren't I.

Why would I be special?