CH 61

It was her first Sunday since being placed in the rear.

Early in the morning Annette washed up and changed into neat clothes. It was to attend Sunday Mass. Several of the people who shared the room with her got up in a daze and prepared to leave. The quiet room was soon filled with rustling noises.

Annette had always been a religious person, like all aristocrats. She had rarely attended the church since the revolution, but here she was a conscious participant.

Her weekly mass was simply to find a place to rely on, like most people. She no longer fully believed in the existence of God.

Praying was more like a question or wish that she actually threw at herself. She sometimes felt a little relieved to get to clear her mind after a long time.

About 15 minutes before Mass began, Annette left her room. As usual, her roommates were busily preparing in the back.

Annette had never spoken to them beyond the barest minimum of words. She did not even expect to get close to them in the first place.

She closed the door. It didn’t matter.

The church was not far from the inn. It was also where she had met Heiner yesterday. She walked away, erasing last night’s conversation piece by piece.

There were quite a few people in the church. Annette sat in the last corridor and stared blankly at the cross until Mass began.

Even those who did not believe in God in the army attended Mass quite enthusiastically. They needed a place to hold on to at the edge of a cliff.

Annette had seen countless soldiers dying in search of God. Did that God hear their cries? She did not know.

A calm and peaceful piano accompaniment began, announcing the start of the Mass. It was a hymn she knew well.

Annette stared blankly at the piano and slowly tapped her thigh with her fingers. It was a half-conscious movement.

Just before the Mass began, someone dressed in black came into view beside her. He sat at the end of the aisle, right next to Annette.

The presence and scent were somewhat familiar. Before she could think straight, Annette involuntarily turned her head to the side.

Then she immediately stiffened.

Annette looked forward again as naturally as possible. But she couldn’t be sure that it was really natural.

“We begin Mass with a prayer. He is among us……”

The people began to say the prayer. Annette also recited it a step later. But she only mumbled it inertially, and none of the content entered her mind.

“…… the Father, the Lord of our lives, the protector of the dying…”

His voice was small but clearly audible as he said the prayer. Annette kept her eyes closed and pushed the voice away from her ears.

The choir’s hymn ended and the sermon for the Mass began. Even then, Annette had a hard time concentrating on the Mass.

She kept seeing his shadow at the edge of her vision. Thoughts naturally drifted to those related to him.

‘Was it a coincidence? Or on purpose?’

Come to think of it, this was the only military church in the rear. Rear-echelon personnel had to attend Mass here in order to be official.

Heiner was not a religious man, but he attended Mass every week. From what she had heard, it was from a very young age. She wondered why, even though he did not believe in God.

‘From an early age… I wonder if it was when he was a trainee.’

The Sutherlane Island training camp was under the jurisdiction of her father, Marquis Dietrich. Inferring from her father’s character, who was a devout believer, it was highly likely that he would have had the trainees attend church.

To the trainees………

For a moment she was dazed as if she had been hit once in the head.

Annette slowly dropped her gaze. Her hands on her thighs were cold. She held them tightly together.

She had consciously or unconsciously avoided thinking about it. So, about his past (Heiner’s past).

She had guessed that there would be a connection between him and her in some way. Because after she brought up the wish for divorce, he didn’t even bother to hide his hatred.

But in retrospect, she always left out the “why” in her questions to him.

She always thought it was very simple. Because her father was a royal military general who persecuted the revolutionary army against the great nobility. Because she was his daughter.

So the hatred was natural.

She never thought of asking Heiner about the past…not even once. Not the false past he made up as part of his operation, but his real past.

Her thoughts were jumbled together. In the end, the mass ended without her being able to concentrate on even a single sentence. Annette sighed and took out the offering envelope.

For no reason, she hesitated for a moment as she slowly put the money into the offering envelope and delicately closed it. She didn’t want to face him.

But even then Heiner had not left his seat. Annette gently bit her lower lip.

‘What the hell is he doing?’

She didn’t have the confidence to turn her head to check. Eventually, Annette couldn’t stand it and stood up first. She put the envelope in the offering box and immediately left the chapel. The entrance was quite deserted because of the slight delay in time inside.

Walking fast with her eyes on the floor, she suddenly bumped her forehead into something. Annette stopped, startled.

“Ooh.”

She raised her head to apologize and saw a familiar face smiling brightly in front of her. Annette’s eyes widened.

“Where are you going so fast?”

It was Ryan.

“Ryan!”

Annette happily called his name out loud. She was even happier to see a familiar face for the first time in the rear, where she didn’t know a single person.

Ryan gave her a light hug and laughed heartily.

“Ha ha, how have you been?”

“I’ve been great. Why are you here? Did you attend Mass?”

“I’ve only been here once. I heard the news that Annette was placed in the rear, but the area seemed different. I thought if I came here, I could see you. You always attend Mass, don’t you?”

“Ah, the news ……”

It was more like a rumor. Her story had already spread far and wide in the rear. Annette smiled, not expressing her opinion.

“It’s kind of awkward to see you here, isn’t it?”

“Oh, awkward? I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Perhaps it’s more unfamiliar than awkward.”

“Oh, how’s it here?”

“It’s completely different.”

“Oh, wait. What’s wrong with your cheek?”

Ryan asked, pointing to her left cheek. Annette groaned.

She didn’t think it was a very big scratch, but it certainly seemed to stand out. Seeing as this was Heiner’s first question when they met last night……

“I got hurt a little bit on the job.”

“What happened?”

“From the patient’s hand…I was trying to change the bandage, but he got angry because he thought I was going to amputate his leg.”

“Oh dear…”

Ryan clicked his tongue.

“Did he apologize?”

“Um, no. But it’s okay.”

“During wartime, we don’t have enough medical supplies or manpower, so many military doctors just amputate first. I understand his feelings, but if you hurt someone’s face, you have to apologize.”

Ryan said sadly as he carefully examined her wound. Their distance was close, but she stood still, knowing it would be too awkward to back away.

“If it happens again, just call someone else. Be it a nurse or a soldier……….”

Their eyes suddenly met. Annette blinked quickly.

Ryan stared at her for a moment, bewildered. After a few seconds, his face suddenly turned red. He straightened his upper body as he bounced back. Instantly, the distance between their faces became distant.

“Well, still, the wound isn’t too deep, so it’s not too bad. I’ve seen a lot, so I know the wounds well. Oh, of course, I’m sure Annette has seen a lot too since you’re a nurse …….”

Ryan retreated, slurring his words. A passerby in the hallway bumped into him slightly.

“Oh, excuse me. We’re blocking your way, aren’t we? Annette, come this way………”

Ryan, who had apologized roughly to the other person, led Annette inside. But Annette did not move. Freeze was the correct way to describe it.

A man stood behind Ryan.

His peculiar cold, brooding face turned to Annette, then to Ryan, and then to Annette again.

Annette stood frozen and still. Ryan’s confused voice came from beside her.

“Commander……?”