Chapter 921

As for the word "coward", grandfather Bai specially accentuated his tone. He hoped that it would arouse my fighting spirit. However, now any words are useless to me. I have considered everything clearly, and suicide is my final decision.

Therefore, I once again can not discuss the dialogue grandfather way: "Coward on the coward, I don't matter!"

Seeing me like this, white grandfather was more anxious. He almost drank to me and said, "after so much experience, why don't you have the blood of your father? Your father suffered no less than you and suffered no less than you. He was helpless to mix black at the beginning. With his own hands, he built his own black Empire, but in the end. He found out that he was just a chess piece, but he was not knocked down. On the contrary, he still dares to go against the sky and force him to be with your mother because of his love.

But the consequence of this love is cruel. Your mother left, she was picked up by the Ye family, and even disappeared in the end. This series of attacks on your father, but he still did not fall down. He still insisted on walking to today. And you, what are you entitled to die? Is it because of Shen Yue? "

Grandfather Bai said this with emotion. Obviously, he was very dissatisfied with my behavior. He wanted to infect me with my father's strength and let me open my mind.

However, since I have fallen into a dead knot, how can I easily untie it? I still stubbornly retorted: "yes, it's because Ziyi, my father can hold on, that's because my mother is just missing, and Ziyi is exactly dead, she is equal to my own killing!"

Hearing this, white grandfather can't help sighing, and said: "Ziyi died because of you, you can repent, but there is no need to die. In addition, although your mother is missing, but in your father's eyes is dead, he suffered no less than you. If he can die, he would have died, but he has the responsibility to let you grow well, he can do it for you Have you ever thought about your son

My son, white grandfather's words, like a thunderbolt, very suddenly exploded in my heart, let me suddenly wake up, the original, I have a son.

My father devoted his whole life to my son. But I think of a dead, completely ignore his painstaking efforts. The most sad thing is that I don't care about the old and the young. I don't have any idea of being responsible for my son. Even I haven't seen him face to face. It can be said that I didn't consider his situation and his future at all. I'm really not selfish in general.

Before that, I still firmly believed that. I have completed all the things that should be considered and the future affairs have been explained. I can go away with peace of mind. However, it turned out that it was just my idea of evading responsibility. It was my most selfish thought. I neglected the things I didn't want to think of, the responsibility I should take and my son.

If I die, my son will lose his father forever. In the future, his life must be incomplete, even his heart will have defects, and his future will be affected.

If I die, my father will lose his only son. He tries to live to give me a better life, but I leave him to commit suicide. How hurt will he feel?

Grandfather Bai is right. It's very simple to evade the responsibility. If my father wanted to escape, he could have left me alone and seek relief. But he didn't. He worked hard to pull me up. When I became sensible, he would go to prison and repent for my mother. When I met the most difficult bottleneck, he was out of prison, and he transformed me so that I could be on my own and live a brave life. But I, in the so-called brave life, constantly make trouble.

Because of me, my father chose to come back to the world and suffered a series of hardships.

For me, my father really paid too much, his love is selfless and great, but how can I repay his love, and I am too unfilial, too unqualified, as a father, I am not qualified. I just ignore my son as air. Although, I don't need to raise my son by myself like an ordinary father, I should at least consider for my son, give him proper love and care, and let him have a healthy psychology!

In the final analysis, I only care about myself. The so-called suicide almost only considers my own feelings, because no one but me agrees with my suicide behavior.

Peng Xuefei, she knew that I was suffering from Ziyi's death, so she advised me to be open-minded and hope that I could live well.

Kiki, she said she would wait for me all my life, just to encourage me to live.

White grandfather, he does not sleep a night, just to be able to always pay attention to me, see me suicide, he immediately appeared to stop me.

Other people, if they know that I have the idea of suicide, will spare no effort to persuade me.

Even Ziyi, when she heard that I was going to accompany her before she died, she became so excited. If she could say one more word at that time, she would surely advise me not to be silly.

It can be said that if I die, everyone will suffer, so I choose to commit suicide, that is, regardless of the suffering of others. I'm the most selfish person in the world if I just want to be free.Think of this, I suddenly smile, this is self mockery smile, is bitter smile, I hate their selfishness, I should not, really should not.

Life is worth living, and dying is worth dying. My suicidal idea now is to accompany Ziyi. But in fact, this is just my high sounding excuse. I just can't bear the self blame in my heart. I think Ziyi can't pass my own barrier because of death, so I have to be free from death.

I feel that I have failed the waiting of Ziyi, so I want to accompany her in huangquan. Anyway, I just can't bear the suffering of being in debt to Ziyi. I just want to end everything with death. Such death is absolutely worthless. It will only hurt all those who care about me, including the dead Ziyi. After all, her last-minute wish is to wish me to live.

Therefore, for the sake of Ziyi, for my father, for my son, for Peng Xuefei, Qiqi, Miaomiao, grandfather Bai, Bai Ling, and all my brothers, I should bravely live on. Even if I bear permanent guilt, I have to bear it. Even if I have a heavy burden, I have to bear it. I can't live only for myself, but also consider the feelings of others Accept, I will take on the responsibility of a man and live with value. Even if you want to die, it's a valuable death, not a cowardly suicide.

Thinking like this, my faith suddenly became firm, and I held Ziyi's hand tighter. Suddenly, I straightened my spine, faced Han's grandfather, and said solemnly: "I understand, Grandpa Bai, I'm sorry, I was reckless, I shouldn't have thought of suicide. I promised you that I would accompany you back to see Bai Ling and my son. I must do it

Hearing my words, white grandfather has been tense face, and finally eased down, his eyes, showing real joy, he curved the corner of his mouth, a smile. "I won't do stupid things again," he said

I can hear that grandfather Bai is worried about me. It's just a moment's imagination. He is afraid that I will be hit later and have extreme ideas.

In fact, sometimes, the idea is just a moment. At a certain moment, I firmly determined to go to the same place with Ziyi in my heart. Therefore, I, stubborn, have been moving towards this determination, never give up.

However, grandfather Bai pulled me back at the moment when I jumped off the cliff, so I came back from the gate of ghosts. Therefore, the idea of me dying again is not as strong as before. I have been fighting with my grandfather white all the time. In fact, my mouth is hard.

Now, after my grandfather Bai's on-demand broadcast, I have really figured it out. This is not only a temporary enlightenment, but also a permanent one, because I will live not only for myself, but also for the people who care about me. On my shoulder, I will always shoulder a responsibility. No matter how painful the experience is, no matter how difficult it is, I will learn to carry it. I want to follow my father's example, stand up all my life and never fall down easily.

Here, I keep warning myself, keep in mind this moment of faith, adhere to the life.

Suddenly, my eyes were bright, my expression became extremely firm, I firmly looked at the white grandfather, solemnly said: "no, let's go back!"

Said, I hugged Ziyi and took the lead to leave.

But I just walked a few steps, white grandfather suddenly stopped me: "Suluo, put Ziyi down!"

Smell speech, I reflexively turn back, to white grandfather chop nails cut the railway: "no, I can't leave Ziyi alone here, I want to take her home!"

White grandfather slightly curled his mouth, pondered: "put it down!"

Once again, when I heard grandfather Bai say to put down Ziyi, I suddenly realized that something was wrong. Even if I had to bury Ziyi, it was not in this place. Why did grandfather Bai insist on letting me put down Ziyi?

Suddenly, my heart suddenly suddenly suddenly two times, I quickly asked the white grandfather: "why?"

White grandfather heavily breathed a breath, and then, he slowly opened his mouth and said, "Ziyi, she is dead."

Grandfather Bai's words almost didn't shatter my heart. For a moment, I just felt that my soul had gone away. Some trivial memory fragments in my mind also flew out of the sky. The whole person was confused and in a state of chaos.

Too incredible, too shocked, too happy, too many emotions filled me, let me for a long time but God.

Also do not know how long, I finally opened my mouth, issued a hoarse voice: "you, what do you say, purple is not dead?"

Smell speech, white grandfather can't help but glance at Ziyi, then, he is very serious staring at me, solemn way: "yes, not dead, has not died!"

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