Chapter 41

I gradually opened my eyes, and my consciousness was still vague. I didn't know where this was. Heaven or hell was the only word I could think of in my mind. Then I saw the anxious and gaunt face of Uncle Yang. I thought, am I still alive?

Uncle Yang saw that I woke up, and his sad face disappeared. Tears burst out in his eyes. He said excitedly, "it's nearly half a month. You finally wake up!"

Then I called the doctor in a hurry, and soon a large number of doctors came in outside the door. They took all kinds of instruments and examined my whole body. Then they asked me questions.

I don't know where my consciousness is. I don't pay any attention to the doctor's questions. Silence is the only thing I want to do. They still ask me a lot. I feel irritable. My mood is very unstable. I yell at them: "get rid of me!"

Seeing me like this, it's not easy for the doctor to ask anything more. Uncle Yang said sorry to the doctor and sent them out of the ward. In my consciousness, everything in front of me is illusory. I don't want to face the illusory world, let alone the hypocritical heart.

Now I, like a walking corpse, life and death are no longer important to me. I am isolated from the world in front of me. My heart, in this world, has no waves and waves. Nothing will interest me any more.

The doctor's diagnosis is that I have serious psychological disorders, as well as mild depression, in the face of such a diagnosis, I still care. How can I be sick? It's a joke. I even think that the doctors who expound their theories all day are really sick.

I don't know how long later, two policemen came into the ward. They asked me something about Ma Qiang. Originally, I was immersed in my own world. But when I heard the words Ma Qiang, I became very calm and suddenly became furious. I cried out with emotion: "he should die, he should die, he should die..."

This sentence kept repeating in my mouth, my mood has become more and more excited, see me like this, the police are helpless, then left.

After a while, another beautiful female doctor came to the ward. She was a psychologist. She enlightened me with the voice for a long time, and my mood got some stability. I just didn't answer her questions. However, when I talked about some sensitive topics, I still became restless, unable to listen to any words, just wanted to vent.

In the end, the beautiful psychologist came to a conclusion: "I have schizophrenia, plus moderate depression!"

Even in the face of Uncle Yang, I didn't want to say anything. After observing in the hospital for a few days and confirming that nothing was wrong with my body, uncle Yang took me back to my hometown. At this time, compared with the time when Miaomiao ran away from home, he was much older, with a sad face and much more white hair. He kept apologizing to me and saying that he was sorry for my father, I feel sorry for what I said, but even though he said it, I was still indifferent.

Before leaving, the doctor advised uncle yang to send me to a mental hospital. At first, uncle Yang refused. But after I got home, I looked in the mirror all day, sometimes giggling and crying. Uncle Yang saw me in tears. Finally, out of helplessness, uncle Yang sent me to a mental hospital.

In the days of treatment in the psychiatric hospital, it was the happiest day in my life. It was like a paradise for me. There were no worries, no worries, no intrigues, and no intrigues. I cried when I wanted to, laugh when I wanted, scream when I wanted, and make trouble whenever I wanted. I was really happy here. I could only do repeated things, eat and take medicine every day, Sleep?

The people here are also very simple. They seem to have no bullying cells in their bodies. Everyone is always smiling at me. I get along with them very well. However, what is different between me and them is that I have always lived in my ideal world, and only in my world can I not feel sad and sad.

Although I am very happy every day, what I fear most is sleeping. Every night, I have all kinds of dreams. Sometimes I wake up, sometimes I laugh in my sleep, sometimes I cry and I am moody.

In this way, in the mental hospital, I live day after day, after drug treatment, my mood is gradually stable, and I will not become restless when I mention the sensitive words before. I also gradually out of my illusory world, I finally understand that the jump, I did not die unexpectedly, just a serious mental problem.

Now although my head is clear, but I still play the role of mental illness, even so, I lost the past carefree life, that kind of happy days can not be found again, my troubles inexplicably appeared, I do not know where it comes from, what I am worrying about.

Every day, I keep thinking about this and that, often a person quietly in a daze. I can't find a speaker here. I'm almost mute and get used to it gradually. Even when Uncle Yang comes to see me, I'm too lazy to take care of it.

My heart, there has always been a lingering shadow, I hate that sinister world, that world is terrible and dark, even in this psychiatric hospital, to be a lonely poor man is better than to go to that terrible world, I have produced extremely terrible shadow on the outside world, I really dare not to contact, to face.So, even if I'm now back to normal, I still choose to stay in the psychiatric hospital, live a mental life every day, and pretend to be happy is much better than the cruelty of reality.

Unconsciously, I have been in the mental hospital for nearly two months. At noon that day, after taking medicine, I began to take a nap, because of the drug factors, I quickly fell asleep.

Not long after I lay down, I began to dream again. In my dream, I saw Miaomiao. This is the first time that I dreamed of her since I came here. She became beautiful again. Looking at Miaomiao standing in front of me, I was about to speak. She didn't say a word. When she came up, she gave me a loud slap and went down with her mouth, she said in a sharp voice: "waste!"

Although I know this is a dream, but it gives me the feeling is so real, Miaomiao slapped me very painful, she seems to have exhausted all her strength, facing Miaomiao, I whispered: "I am not a waste!"

Miaomiao said in a sharp voice again: "you dare not breathe even when you talk. You also say you are not a waste. If you want to prove that you are not a waste, you can go out of here, go back to where you should go, and make a fool of yourself

In the face of Miaomiao, I always dare not rebut her loudly, but when I hear her words, I summon up my courage and shout out: "OK, you wait, I will prove it to you!"

Miaomiao replied, "what you do has nothing to do with me, and there is no need to prove it to me. In my eyes, you are always a waste!"

With that, Miaomiao slowly disappeared in front of my eyes. Looking at the Miao Miao who disappeared in front of me, I cried desperately and kept calling, trying to keep her, but I could not make any voice in my mouth. When I finally called out, I woke up from my dream. Although the dream was very short, it gave me a deep and real feeling. I touched Miaomiao and played The face, all with the burning pain.

This dream is so real that I can clearly remember every word and action of Miaomiao, and even what clothes she wears. Miaomiao's words ring an alarm for me and wake me up completely.

I sit on the bed and keep thinking about Miaomiao's words. I really don't need to hide here. This not only wastes my life, but also drags uncle Yang. If I go on like this, people who look down on me will look down on me even more.

The most important thing is not to be looked down upon by Miaomiao. Although Miaomiao is a girl, she still wanders around alone, and I, a boy, will only hide in the corner and cry cowardly. Perhaps, Miaomiao hates me because of my cowardice. If she comes back and knows that I am hiding in a mental hospital, she will look down on me even more.

After thinking about it, I finally firmly believe in myself. I want to leave here and make myself strong in the future. I unconsciously walked out of bed and came to the front of the mirror. Looking at myself in the mirror, my heart couldn't help pounding. I really didn't believe my eyes.

I found that I am very sloppy now. My hair is very long and covered with white hair, and my beard is full of it. I am under 20 years old, but I live up to the temperament of 60 years old. I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror. I left the mirror quickly and took out my mobile phone and dialed it to Uncle Yang.

After dialing the phone, I said a word in my hoarse voice: "uncle, I miss you, take me home!" Then I hung up.

Uncle Yang's speed is ridiculous. He killed himself in the hospital after less than half an hour's phone call.

When he saw me, he was so excited that he said, "Arlo, are you ok?"

I nodded gently and said, "well, I'm ok, uncle Yang, let's go home."

Uncle Yang cried when he heard this. He hugged me and said loudly, "OK, let's go home."

Later, uncle Yang called the doctor and explained my situation to him. The doctor had a comprehensive physical examination and asked me a lot of professional questions. After everything was qualified, he gave me a certificate and allowed me to leave the hospital.

As soon as the discharge procedures were completed, uncle Yang drove me home. All the way, uncle Yang kept saying that he was so sad these days that he didn't have the face to see my father. He kept it from me. He didn't tell my father in prison.

Uncle Yang kept talking to me, and I simply echoed his question. When he got home, uncle Yang bought a huge firecracker and put it up at the door, saying that he would ruin my misfortune. After entering the house, everything is still so familiar.

I rushed into the bathroom without saying a word. I took a hot bath and shaved my beard. I was more comfortable looking at myself in the mirror. After I came out, I felt very relaxed and had a refreshing feeling. We had dinner outside, and it was very late when we got home.

In the next week, I had a very warm time at home. Uncle Yang didn't trust myself. He asked for a week's leave to accompany me at home, almost inseparable.

A week later, uncle Yang felt relieved to go to work when I was really OK. In this week, I also started a normal life and faced the reality with my ordinary heart. After dinner today, I directly asked Uncle Yang, "uncle, how is Ma Qiang who was stabbed by me?"Uncle Yang was surprised to hear that I suddenly asked him this question. But in a flash, uncle Yang regained his composure, and then slowly told me about what happened in the school

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