Chapter 2 - Janitor Jones

Ahoy World!

It's me again, your captain of this blog ship.

Remember when I said that I wanted to update weekly? I know I'm three days early on this post but let's not sweat the small stuff, shall we? Rules are created by humans and so they shall be broken by humans too. Besides, the law is simply a guideline as many a.d.u.l.ts would agree with.

Anyways, I digress. I've been trying to look out for interesting humans to report in my spy missions but none of the ten-year-olds in my class made the cut. Neither did the teachers because they were all giving the same vibes… "Sit up straight!", "Be quiet!", "Listen to me when I'm talking!", "Where do you think you're going, young man?" etc etc.

Between napping in between lessons and reading, I found myself watching a certain background character in closer detail. For the sake of protecting his identity, we shall call him Janitor Jones.

Janitor Jones is a very thin man with tanned skin, crooked yellow teeth and smells badly of smoke and body odor. I don't think very highly of him but I don't think anyone can blame me for that. You'd be surprised by what you can learn just by sitting in the toilet for an hour.

It wasn't intentional on my end but I definitely heard the lunch lady and the head janitor 'discussing' about Sir Janitor Jones. Apparently the man is in his late fifties and has three children who are all grown up and have flown the coop. His wife is a fat lady with an unhealthy obsession over food and Jones doesn't own a house yet. He still lives with his old mother in a rundown apartment with his wife.

Of course, you captain isn't one to judge a book by its cover as proven many times by a terrible design but a good read from my school's library. *Ahem* I digress. So I went to do my homework and investigated Janitor Jones discreetly.

By discreetly, I meant putting on my innocent face and asking around or following behind him when he thinks his boss isn't looking. I wasn't disappointed at the very least when Jones showed his true self.

It happened yesterday when a poor kid lost his lunch money after getting knocked down by bullies. I don't know how those bullies missed a two dollar bill but they did. The poor kid whose glasses got stepped on missed it too but I was there, watching everything from a vacant classroom during break time.

Along came Jones with his broom and cigarette. It was clear that he was looking for an afternoon nap. No, don't question it. I know his routine. It isn't rocket science. *Ahem* I digress.

So Jones took a look around and frowned when he saw litter on the grounds he just cleaned two hours ago. However once he bent down to pick it up, he realised that it was a two dollar bill. Now, here's a question.

What would you do if you found a two dollar bill on the ground at a school that work at?

Remember, there isn't a right and a wrong answer… just a likeable and hateful one.

a) Looked around to see that nobody was looking before keeping the bill in his pocket

b) Pick it up and return that bill to the lost and found office

c) Donate it away

d) Buy something with it

e) Others

-inserts drum roll-

If you chose the option b or c then you're probably the kind of nice people the world needs more of. I can't express my frustration of having to deal with not only stupid but also selfish people all the time. But if you're the kind of person who would do b or c, I hereby give you the title of "Small Marshmallow".

If you chose option d or e, there's nothing wrong with that. It's a fair game out there. Finders keepers, losers weepers. I can understand that perfectly well and it's totally accepted. Not hateful at all.

If you chose option a… you should be ashamed of yourself and apologise to your parents for being human trash! Unfortunately, I'm not the God of Judgement. I couldn't smite Janitor Jones for choosing option a and acting on it. In fact, I was rather impressed that he thought nobody was looking. I wasn't even trying to hide!

While I tried to give Jones as much benefit of doubt that I could, I simply don't think Jones deserves a life any better than he is currently living. You do you, just stay out of my face and we're good.

So that's it from me for now, I don't know what kind of blog this is but it should've proved entertaining enough for you to be reading it up till this point.

Last but not least, I would like to thank the two poor souls with nothing better to do who read my previous blog post and decided they would like to join my crew. Welcome to the nameless ship but I guess I now have a first and second mate.

That's all from me, folks! I'll see you next week.

Fair Winds!

Pirate S.