CH 316

Chapter 316: The orphans’ social studies field trip is also Exciting  Capital Sightseeing Tour Full of Highschool Girls but it seems there won’t be happy accidents.

Day 76 – Daytime, the Capital, Souvenir Store Orphanage Branch

Now, the time has come for Avarice-san and others’ wasteful spending party under the name of the orphans’ social studies field trip. The leading Pres is dishing out orders already. She even managed to discipline the Idiots, so handling the orphans should be nothing for her.

「Everyone, gather up, make sure to join hands.」

「「「「Yees.」」」」

The leading Pres is leading orphans.

「Alright. Everyone, join hands.」

Elf Girl-san is guiding orphans too.

「「「「Yees.」」」」

Looks like Tanuki Girl is fully intending on being led today! She has completely blended in with the orphans. Or rather, she has fully assimilated and implanted herself?

Armored Pres-san and Dancing Girl-san also seem very motivated to provide guidance, dressed in bus guide uniforms. The flag in their hands has 『Exciting  Capital Sightseeing Tour Full of Highschool Girls』 written on it, no happy accidents? How sad.

And currently the biggest issue, the Geeks and Idiots, are being chained together, to make sure they won’t get lost. However, disappointingly, electric shock seems to be getting Resisted.

「Ehhm, turn right around Kinkaku temple[1] and head towards Kiyomizu temple. No, wait, turn to the left from Ginkaku temple[2] and then follow the path in between Kamo Shrines[3], until you enter the path through the bamboo thicket around Nijo Castle[4] then cross Togetsukyo Bridge [5] and once you pass through Fushimi Inari Taisha you will see the torii for the exit?」「Hm? The road from the Kyoto Imperial Palace to Heian Shrine[6] won’t do?」「What about the shopping district of The Philosopher’s (rip-off) Walk [7] that goes from Nanzen Temple [8] towards the aqueducts?」「Yeah, wouldn’t it be closer if we go straight from the corner of Yasaka Shrine [9]?」「Eh? So that was not Saiho temple [10] but Ninna temple [11] instead?!」「「「Yeah, there are even more buildings now and the layout has changed again!?」」」

Leaving the orphanage’s Byodo-in Seimei’s Shrine [12] comes in sight, Tanukidani-san Fudō-in Temple[13] is in the backstreet, Daiun temple [14] on the corner, and we already passed Rengeo-in Sanjusangendo,[15] so we should be already close.There are more people going through the slums those days, or rather, there are crowds of people coming for sightseeing, so to avoid someone getting lost it’s better to pick routes with less people on them.

「If someone from Kyoto saw this they’d probably go crazy?」「Yeah, there are even Todai Temple [16] and Kofuku Temple [17] from Nara [18] just casually standing here? So they’ll probably just give up?」

Who cares about people from Kyoto, just chase them around with some rice with tea on it and they’ll scatter on their own. [19] And if they come with complaints there is always an option of burying them and having them join the underground dwellers.

「I don’t think anyone would say anything by now even if there is Izumo Shrine [20] standing right between them~. Oh, look, there is Koto Temple now~?」

「「「「Stop adding new buildings every day! That’s the reason people keep getting lost! Why are you making it into a Fake Kyoto Maze Town!」」」」

A maze makes for an optimal crime prevention measure, but they seem dissatisfied. Still, it’s all because they refuse to wear『Bracelet of the Poor』 which comes with navigation function, that they get lost? These girls are so whimsical.

「I got it, he was trying to expand the slums because he wants to build the waterway and Itsukushima Shrine! [22] With what kind of a luxurious slums are you trying to suppress the Capital?」

Walking at the orphans’ pace makes this take a while. As I thought, I have to speed up the plan for『Acceleration』 equipment for orphans. However, the orphans are also little punks that for some reason like to dive at me at top speed, so Acceleration might be dangerous. Dive and Hug of those flying orphans has high accuracy and rapid-fire ratio! Pretty much PATRIOT Orphans.

「There is another pair of statues of the two guardian Deva kings[23]… And even more statues of arhats… Why Benten-sama[24] is the only one in full color and in such captivating detail!?」

「「「「GUILTY!」」」

「No, I mean, naked Benzaiten is a pretty normal and popular depiction of Benten-sama. This one comes with a bit of a modern interpretation, bizarre add-ons, and MG-X biwa, but respect for the artists manifested in a Benten Thunder Beats, giving a crazy Premium SSR gacha character feel, so I did nothing wrong? Look, the Geeks are literally worshiping her? Kind of?」

That’s right, the Geeks began geeking from the side while I was making the statue, and even drew an illustration, endlessly shoving it into my face while I was working… And, oh, what a surprise? A giant figurine of Benzaiten rocker modified beyond belief has descended upon the world, that’s certainly the Geeks fault, so I did nothing wrong, okay? Yeah, it looks like something can be seen, but actually can’t, so this is Safe?

I got scolded.

Passing through a long long line of torii we finally step onto streets of the Capital. 70% of the Noble District has been absorbed by the slums already, so leaving them is not easy. And with the flood of people interested to move in there, the slums seem to have become a first-class housing district. There are also many tourists, so it looks like a pretty celebrity slums.

「Everyone has their『Orphan’s Bracelet』? If you get lost, raise the bracelet to the sky, and pour strength into it. Also if bad people approach you, make sure to kick them hard with 『Orphan Shoes』. Yup, that will send most people flying? I actually tested it on the Geeks, and got a pretty long shot with a good roaring sound?

「「「「Yees. We have them on!」」」」

With this, even if someone gets lost, they can send an emergency rescue signal, and we’ll be able to quickly find them. I’ve also added a simple protective barrier, and the clothes themselves have high defense and resistances. Besides, low-tier delinquents can be dealt with the orphan kick. As long as they can make a successful drop kick they should even be able to kill a low level goblin.

The Royal Palace is actually not that far from the slums. Since the slums have been swallowing up the Noble District, that lies in between, like crazy, they are basically neighbors now. So we are just killing time until the evening.

They are supposed to send carriages for us, but we’ll make it faster on our own. I’ve already attached passenger wagons to『Highway Star』one and two, remodeling them into 『Highway Star Trains』, so there should be enough space for everyone to ride.

The orphans haven’t used their salary even once. Even if I try to give it to them, they keep trying to give it back as a payment for food. Even if we send them out into the city, they come back after simply stocking on foodstuff and ingredients. Yup, this is a very concerning issue of them not acting like children.

Therefore, a role model is required. And here we have not only bankrupt shopping-addicted girls, but also the Avatar of Avarice, plenty of perfect examples, wasting money at full speed! Working hard every day without being unable to waste money is an intolerable activity. At this rate they won’t become fine adults when they grow up, becoming adults with Peter Pan syndrome who can’t shop like grown-ups! Yes, this is where we must show them the girls’ sloppy ways of handling money, and plant seeds of greed into innocent hearts of the children.

That’s right, if they learn how to waste money, they should become splendid children.

I mean, worrying about tomorrow is not something kids should do, much less doing something absurd like saving money. Children should do children’s things, like sleeping while excitedly thinking about what they should play tomorrow. That’s their job. Being allowed to have a matter of fact belief that tomorrow will be another good day is the privilege of being a child. In that case, money has to be wasted, fun has to be had, that is the main road of the path of ripping off that leads to the life of a magnate!

「Then, I’m going to provide you with the pocket money for today, everyone, queue up… Wait, even though the tanuki was just blending in with the children, she is now standing right in front of the group with her hand out?! Hey, I don’t care if a certain orangutan girl who doesn’t even have intentions to mimic as Orphan Girl at this point goes on another food shopping spree and gets herself an even bigger belly that wouldn’t go away eternally turning her dress into maternity fashion? What is it? 53th month? Judging by the condition?」

「53 months of maternity?! What kind of belly are you implying I have?! I don’t have a belly, it’s just a bit plump!」

But she is still standing with her hand extended. Or rather, all of the girls have joined the line. Even the Geeks and Idiots who had no presence so far have cheekily got into the line!

「「「「Big brother, pocket money!」」」」

「No, why are the people who should be in the role of the guardians lining up with hands extended even though the orphans are holding back out of reservation? Big brother? We are classmates, so I’m pretty sure we were the same age, no?」

As expected of the exemplary specimen picked for their ability to waste money. They joined the line with their hands out without even a moment of hesitation. Well, this is indeed very exemplary of them.

Handing everyone small bags with 5,000 ere each one by one, when the Geeks and Idiots turn came, I threw their bags at them with all my might. Well, I knew that I’m not taking down the Idiots with this, but even the Geeks managed to barely deploy the barrier at the last second to catch them, which is pissing me off! As expected of levels 100 with loads of Cheats. Even without any motor reflexes of their own, they were able to respond with Skills.

And in contrast to the troubled-looking orphans, the girls immediately began going through the store in rapid succession, dragging the children with them. At this rate they should soon enough get infected themselves while going along.

The Capital’s toys and sweets are, how should I put it, questionable and just shabby. The souvenir store is a level above in both the assortment and quality of goods. Even so, it’s the very act of wasting money that is fun. It’s important to make them understand that even if they waste money today, tomorrow is still going to be alright? Well, it might be too late for the Forever-in-Debt gang though, but it’s definitely their own fault, and there is nothing to get angry at me for!

Looks like they are finally getting used to it. While they were pretty nervous about buying anything at first, by now, the kids began buying sweets with smiles, and bragging to each other about the stuff they bought. Yeah, that’s how kids should be. They don’t have to become adults so soon… But let’s be careful with borrowing money, okay? Or you’ll become like those girls?

Well, that’s not something the kids can imitate even if asked… I mean, the girls already spent all of the money and are glancing this way?!

TL Notes:

[0] Evil Hands was changed to Magic Hands. I couldn’t bear it anymore so I went through every chapter since they first appeared. The skill evolving from tentacles as well as being an actual word plus the entire mood around the skill initially led me astray a bit, creating this… term. Sorry for the confusion.

If I happened to miss some, let me know in the comments or in the report corrections channel on discord.

[1] Kinkaku-ji (金閣寺, literally “Temple of the Golden Pavilion”), officially named Rokuon-ji (鹿苑寺, lit. ’Deer Garden Temple’), is a Zen Buddhist temple in Kyoto. It is one of the most popular buildings in Kyoto, attracting many visitors annually. Kinkaku-ji was ranked the No. 85 Most Holy Place on Earth by religious leaders, writers and scholars in the Patheos multi-faith religion project Sacred Spaces: The 100 Most Holy Places on Earth.

[2] Ginkaku-ji (銀閣寺, lit. “Temple of the Silver Pavilion”), officially named Jishō-ji (慈照寺, lit. “Temple of Shining Mercy”), is a Zen temple in the Sakyo ward of Kyoto. Like Kinkaku-ji, Ginkaku-ji was originally built to serve as a place of rest and solitude for the Shōgun. During his reign as Shōgun, Ashikaga Yoshimasa inspired a new outpouring of traditional culture, which came to be known as Higashiyama Bunka (the Culture of the Eastern Mountain). Having retired to the villa, it is said Yoshimasa sat in the pavilion, contemplating the calm and beauty of the gardens as the Ōnin War worsened and Kyoto was burned to the ground.

[3] Kamo Shrine (賀茂神社, Kamo-jinja) is a general term for an important Shinto sanctuary complex on both banks of the Kamo River in northeast Kyoto.

[4] Nijō Castle (二条城, Nijō-jō) is a flatland castle in Kyoto. Built in 1679 and is one of the seventeen Historic Monuments of Ancient Kyoto which have been designated by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site.

[5] Togetsukyo Bridge (渡月橋), Kyoto. A wooden bridge stood in that location from the 17th century, and was replaced by one from steel and reinforced concrete in the 1900s, which however, to retain harmony with the surroundings, inherited its design from the old wooden bridge, and perhaps as a part of that, still has wooden guardrails.

[6] Heian Shrine, established In 1895 for the 1100th anniversary of the establishment of Heian-kyō (old name of Kyoto), and is a partial reproduction of the old Heian Palace from Heian-kyō in in 5/8th scale (in length).

[7] Tetsugaku No Michi (哲学の道) The Philosopher’s Walk is a pedestrian path that follows a cherry-tree-lined canal in Kyoto, Japan between Ginkaku-ji and Nanzen-ji.

[8] Nanzen-ji (南禅寺, Nanzen-ji), or Zuiryusan Nanzen-ji, formerly Zenrin-ji (禅林寺, Zenrin-ji), is a Zen Buddhist temple in Kyoto, Japan. Emperor Kameyama established it in 1291 on the site of his previous detached palace. It is also the headquarters of the Nanzen-ji branch of Rinzai Zen. The precincts of Nanzen-ji are a nationally designated Historic Site, and its Hōjō gardens is a Place of Scenic Beauty. While not one of the “five great Zen temples of Kyoto”; however, it does play an important role in the “Five Mountain System” which was modified from Chinese roots. The Aqueduct passing through the temple grounds was Constructed In 1890, to carry irrigation water from the Lake Biwa Canal.