CH 60.2

Perhaps finding the surroundings a little noisy, Mu Mu’er rolls around in bed and ‘mm’s.

Bai Yao squeezes his hand a little. He runs his thumb up and down the back of Mu Mu’er’s hand, that he relaxes and approaches Bai Yao a little.

He relies on Bai Yao far more than Mu Yi. This makes Bai Yao both worried, and immensely joyful.

Everyone likes being relied on, including Bai Yao. All the better when the one reliant on him is this good boy, so good he has no better adjective to describe with.

The rain worsens again outside, slashing sideways through the air by the wind, crashing into the window. It’s not exactly quiet.

“Do you like my younger brother?” Mu Yi says, his tone largely inscrutable among the sound of storm.

“Of course. Who wouldn’t?” Bai Yao answers without looking, chuckling at Mu Mu’er’s mouth opening a little as he sleeps.

His sleeping form really is quite atrocious. His mouth hangs open a little, and drool threatens to seep out at any moment. At best, his arms and legs are still fixed where they are in the blanket. His face has grown slightly rounder, which makes him look like he’s always having a little tantrum. Or perhaps just having lots of chestnuts stored within.

Bai Yao can’t help but poke with his fingertip, wondering if it might sink and release air. It did not, but it’s soft. His skin has become smooth and fair.

“He’s really cute. He’s so well-behaved. It makes you feel like a monster just speaking harshly to him. It’s like the word ‘no’ has disappeared from this world when you’re with him,” says Bai Yao, pronouncing each and every word slowly and sincerely.

Finally, he adds, “who wouldn’t like a fluffy little sea otter who enjoys rubbing his face every day?”

No response comes for a while, until, “you know exactly what kind of ‘like’ I mean.”

Bai Yao says ‘mmhm,’ and nothing else.

“I don’t exactly know how to describe your relationship, and I feel like it’s not my place to say either. As you say, he’s already an adult.”

Bai Yao takes some time to finally process what Mu Yi means by ‘your relationship.’

“I don’t know… how your relationship will look like if you do go further. Regardless, he is my younger brother. I can accept him no matter how he is,” Mu Yi looks like he’s not finished, but he has trouble putting what to say next into words. He deliberates, and says, “it took me a year of fruitless searching to finally understand. Not realising this sooner is the biggest regret of my life.”

“If only I knew…” Mu Yi does not finish speaking.

Although Bai Yao is still smiling, the smile turns slightly bitter. He sighs, “I don’t think it’s even right to talk about what the ‘like’ is. Whether I think I do or not like him, we’re still animals-turned-humans. The world has barely any tolerance for our kind, and I can’t bear to see any further harm come to him.”

Bai Yao then adds, in his mind.

‘Not even a little. He’ll be terribly hurt.’

Mu Mu’er is truly one-of-a-kind. He cannot find another Mu Mu’er-esque person in the entire world. He can scour the entirety of the oceans without finding another Mu Mu’er.

What Bai Yao has fallen for, is this cute and appropriately special quality of his.

Mu Mu’er is quite soundly asleep, which doesn’t seem to hamper his tendency to squeeze next to Bai Yao, until he can be no closer, with his face already pushing into Bai Yao’s hand.

“Besides. Do I like him? Do I like him not…” Bai Yao pauses, “it’s out of my control.”

This is his little sea otter. His fluffy, plump little sea otter. He picked him up off the beach, and cared and clothed him for two months. He’s his!

Even the soft little plumpness is his hard work. He doesn’t know when it began, but now, his world has no one but the little sea otter.

Mu Mu’er has his entire mind preoccupied. Every crevice in his heart is him. If anyone else tries to come join, he’ll probably crumple his little face, and quietly complain – leave. This is Mu’er’s Yaoyao.

Bai Yao doesn’t even know if his heart might shatter in the case that the little sea otter did leave, never to be healed again.

This is the moment Bai Yao makes his determined stand. He slowly rises, and declares, “I take my word back. You cannot take him away. I won’t let you. I’ll give him safety; I’ll give him a home. There is nothing you can give him that I can’t.”

“If he does choose you, I’ll back off. I trust you, you who are his older brother. Yet, he would rather run through a storm back to me. Do you know how scared he is of thunderstorms?”

Mu Mu’er’s hair is still slightly damp to the touch. Bai Yao runs his hand across the few strands of hair scattered across his forehead.

He’s quite nervous right now. There is a piece of pebble in his chest that is flying all about his chest, upwards, downwards, everywhere. Bai Yao is readying himself for a lengthy argument with Mu Yi, but he can’t start when the man does not speak anything.

By the time a reply finally comes, Bai Yao’s jaw is already slightly numb from tenseness.

“You are aware of his circumstances. Your ‘like’ has to be good for life. You must be willing to take care of him, to be with him, to let him be a part of your family,” Mu Yi slowly lays out.

Bai Yao acknowledges without thinking.

Never mind letting him be a part of the family. Since a few months ago, when the soft little sea otter plopped his way into Golden Seashell Seafood Restaurant, and looked longingly at Bai Yao, unwilling to leave, the restaurant has become as much of a home for Mu Mu’er as it is for Bai Yao.

“He should stay,” Mu Yi quietly concludes, “I think he’ll probably be much happier being with you.”

Bai Yao’s breathing stops, and his chest tightens. He’s afraid his ears might be tricking him.

The rain finally lets up for good. The sound of scattered raindrops hitting the gravel enters unobstructed through the open living room window. The wind chime hanging on the veranda is no longer swinging chaotically.

The light from the street lamp afar remains elusive beyond the mist. The entire town is asleep, the buildings motionless.

“Perhaps, it was enough for me to have found him,” Mu Yi continues, with a steady, slightly depressed tone, “he may be my younger brother, but I’m sure there are more people that also care for him than I thought.”