CH 57.2

Since Mu Mu’er met Bai Yao two months ago, Qiaohai has been his one and only home.

“Mu’er is a good boy. Mu’er can be even more of a good boy,” Mu Mu’er says, putting the glass onto the table. He puts his hands onto his kneecaps, and straightens his back, looking at Bai Yao with his puppy dog eyes.

Bai Yao’s fingers are going numb. He is distraught. There is even a slight hatred brewing inside towards Mu Yi, who is taking Mu Mu’er away from him. Why did he have to show up?

An idea pops into his head. Can he steal Mu Mu’er? Tell him to transform, and he’ll run. Run away to that island reachable only by ferry. Build a little wooden house there. Secluded and undisturbed.

… No. That’s impossible.

Bai Yao suppresses the thought quickly. He tries to make himself smile naturally, “but your gege likes Mu’er too. He also needs a soft little sea otter.”

“Then gege can find another Mu’er. This Mu’er is owned, owned by Yaoyao.”

“There are other, other little sea otters in the sea!” Mu Mu’er says hastily, “this little sea otter is Yaoyao’s!”

Bai Yao is helpless. It hurts terribly. He wants to be able to explain to Mu’er well, that he won’t be sad. If he had three days… A week… He’ll be able to ease Mu’er into it. Far better than he is doing now.

But he must pretend that all is well.

He continues rambling on.

“Mu’er, remember to tell your older brother if you need anything. If you’re cold, or hungry, or tired, tell him.”

“There are lot of people in the city. Remember, do not go outside alone. You must be careful of the moving cars when walking outside.”

“Remember to eat meals on time, but you should stop having snacks at night, and you need to eat less sweet food.”

…

Bai Yao doesn’t know how long he’s been talking. He hasn’t been able to stop.

He knows Mu Mu’er has his older brother, who will take care of him to the best of his ability, but he still can’t help but blabber on.

A long, long time later, when Bai Yao is stopping for a breather, Mu Mu’er meekly asks, with a quivering tone.

“Yaoyao, do you not want Mu’er anymore?”

Bai Yao thinks he really, really likes the boy. So much, so much. If only he was a kangaroo. Then he’d have a pocket where he can keep Mu Mu’er safe within.

He does not know where to begin to console Mu Mu’er. Anything that might be able to cheer Mu Mu’er up would be a lie. Nothing would ever make the little sea otter willing to separate from him.

He continues caressing Mu Mu’er on the hand. Caressing over and over. He wants to wipe his tears away for him, but his hand stops and falls halfway up.

“Gege…”

Bai Yao does not know when Mu Yi came to stand behind him. His usual poker face is no more, looking at Mu Mu’er crying so sadly.

Mu Mu’er wipes the tears away himself. He is utterly panicking as Bai Yao is not saying anything. The only other person around is Mu Yi, so he goes to shake Mu Yi’s arm.

“Yaoyao does not want Mu’er,” he says, sniffling, begging,, “gege.”

He wants Mu Yi to tell Bai Yao he does not want to go. He will be a good boy, a very, very good boy. He does not know that Mu Yi is the one who insists on taking him away.

Mu Yi tries to persuade Mu Mu’er patiently, “Mu’er, if you miss this town, you can always come back later, whenever. Gege will come with you.”

So he says, but Bai Yao knows Mu Yi is highly unlikely to bring Mu Mu’er back here.

Not simply for the fact that they don’t really have any other connection to the town, but that Mu Mu’er will begin forming his new social circle in the city. Mu Yi will look for a school or home-school teacher for him. There will be more people around him. He’ll give him a much more vibrant, ‘complete’ life.

Qiaohai cannot be his home.

“We’re just having a trip outside, to see the city. Mu’er, do you remember? It’s your home,” Mu Yi says, but Mu Mu’er’s expression remains unchanged. His eyes are glazing over.

Shortly after, he says, “no. It’s not my home.”

Mu Yi pauses, then turns to Bai Yao and says, “help him pack up. We’ll be waiting.”

They’re leaving right now…

Bai Yao still wants to speak, but Mu Yi moves to block his line of sight. He will not budge.

Bai Yao says nothing, and turns to walk up the second floor.

As Bai Yao walks for the stairs, Mu Mu’er’s gaze has been following him. He looks like he wants to follow.

But Mu Yi does not let him look. He leans down to say something, and holds his chin to turn him in his direction.

Bai Yao sees it out of the corner of his eye. Another thorn pricks him in the chest. It was always him who could do the chin-clamping on Mu Mu’er.

Mu Yi is his older brother… Of course, he can do the same.

Bai Yao walks up the stairs with almost mechanical rigidity. He heads into the apartment, but does not go to the bedroom. He merely stands there, spacing out in the middle of the living room.

They’re leaving. He won’t be able to fight, to make his little sea otter stay.