CH 56.1

Don't Throw Away His Seashells

Translated by boilpoil

Edited by boilpoil

Bai Yao wants to tell Mu Yi, but Mu Yi stops him before he could even begin.

“He was my younger brother for thirteen years. I want to continue to be his older brother.”

Bai Yao had nothing to say. It renders meaningless everything he wanted to say.

Yes, Mu Mu’er is Mu Yi’s younger brother by blood. Then what is he to Mu Mu’er?

Family? Not exactly. Boyfriend? You’re kidding.

And to be honest, maybe not even a friend.

He didn’t really think much letting Mu Mu’er come into his life and stay, or give much thought to the future and how the relationship between themselves will look like.

He likes Mu Mu’er, in a very pure sense. It was nothing above a simple predisposition to him, and he never thought about if it might evolve beyond that in the future.

Bai Yao has simply categorised this as his ‘protection’ of Mu Mu’er, letting him stay, without thinking too much about how Mu Mu’er might come to rely on him, or become inseparable from him.

Simply because his fond of him.

Yet ‘fondness’ is not ‘love.’ It’s much less responsible than ‘love’ is.

“If you just find him interesting and fun to have around, tell me the truth. I won’t blame you. He had no family, not since he no longer remembered things. I would not have him be given hope for a real family by you only to have you take it away at your leisure,” Mu Yi says sternly, “at the very least, I guarantee that I will give him a homely family for as long as he lives.”

Bai Yao shakes his head, and also responds with a serious tone, “what I gave him is also forever. The snacks, the scallops, the family, or even the attention, nobody can take them away. Not even me.”

“You may ‘like’ him today, but can you promise you will be able to continue liking him tomorrow and ever?”

Bai Yao smiles and answers without hesitation, “yes.”

Before they are finished, Mu Yi’s phone rings up a third time. He finally picks up the call. It’s his assistant, telling him about urgent documents that require his immediate attention.

Mu Yi has booked four days at an inn in town, in order to check if Bai Yao’s Mu Mu’er really is his younger brother.

His work is too urgent to be postponed, and he needs to return to his desk immediately. He prepares to leave, and tells Bai Yao he will be back the day after tomorrow.

Mu Mu’er comes back out from the kitchen with a full glass of water as Mu Yi stands up to leave.

The glass of water is too full and Mu Mu’er is walking slowly. Yet he speeds up as soon as he sees his older brother leaving, spilling a little.

“Water… for gege,” he puts the glass down carefully at the table, but it was too quiet for Mu Yi to hear; he’s already out the door.

Bai Yao watches his disappointed reaction and can’t help but smile. He ruffles his hair to cheer him up.

Mu Mu’er sits down at the table and watches Mu Yi disappear from the back door. He waves at his silhouette, mumbling, “byebye, gege.”

Mu Yi did not take the plushie away, so Mu Mu’er holds on to it again, tightly.

Yesterday, he ran upstairs away from Mu Yi, even scared to the point of tearing up. Now, though, he’s completely forgotten why he was scared. Mu Yi did not get angry at him all the time, and his older brother wasn’t scary anymore.

The little sea otter really doesn’t remember grudges. Whoever treats him well, even just a little, can stay on his ‘good people’ list for a long time.

And the list can also be very, very long, for many, many people. He can split his like for all the people, for auntie Zhang, for Jing Xiaoqing, for Qi Ya, and also, his older brother.

Of course, Bai Yao is the person at the top of the list.

He does not remember people who were bad to him, and he forgets soon enough, only remembering those he liked. That’s how Mu Mu’er can always be happy. There are nobody and nothing in the world that can make him unhappy.

He’s been alone for too long. Now that there are people who cares about him, his true self comes out, amplified. He’s always been cute and gentle inside, so everything he does carries the same vibe.

“Gege left!” Mu Mu’er watches from the window as Mu Yi turns a corner, walking away from the restaurant. He smiles at Bai Yao, and swings his arm, “Yaoyao, hug!”

Mu Yi is still within earshot of shouts, you know. Little dumb sea otter.

Bai Yao chuckles and shakes his head.

He walks over, but doesn’t hug him as requested. He simply holds his wrist and caressing, to indicate that he doesn’t want to hug for now.

Mu Mu’er is tired lifting his arms without a hug from Bai Yao, and frowns a little as he lets his arms down.

Bai Yao needs to have a talk with Mu Mu’er, so he sits down, and ponders his words before slowly asking, “Mu’er, do you like your older brother?”

It’s a simple yes or no question, but Mu Mu’er thinks about it for a long time – wondering what answer Bai Yao wants to hear. He steals glances at him.

Bai Yao can see his hesitation, and tells him, “you can say the truth. It’s alright.”

Mu Mu’er, simple as he is, is reassured and answers without delay. It’s barely audible, though, “…yes.”

Something starts to pinch within his chest. Bai Yao finds an uncontrollable pain spreading through his body.

In a most selfish corner of his mind, he wants to take the boy away in secret. Far away from anybody. From Mu Yi. Yet the concept barely survives for a few seconds before Bai Yao puts an immediately stopper to it.

He really wishes to see another person who genuinely loves Mu Mu’er for who he is. Whether it’s him, the neighbouring couple of auntie Zhang and grandpa Xü, or Mu Yi, Mu Mu’er’s older brother; whoever.

Mu Mu’er is such a good little boy. He deserves more than Bai Yao’s solitary fondness.

“Yes. I think your older brother likes you too,” Bai Yao appears much less tense, and ruffles Mu Mu’er’s hair again with a smile.

Then he turns to go to the kitchen to continue prepping for tonight’s dishes.

Yet in his mind was simply chaos. He can only hear what Mu Yi said about Mu Mu’er being his ‘younger brother of thirteen years,’ but he fails to hear Mu Mu’er mumble under his breath, “but I like Yaoyao more. I like Yaoyao the most.”