Chapter 424

"Whoo Whoo Call........ "

The wind outside the window, constantly blowing the curtain, seems to have a black shadow, constantly wandering outside.

Under the night, outside the window, who is standing?

Perhaps,

most people have this kind of conjecture when they are young, and they have similar doubts.

Zhu Shengnan is lying on the bed with his eyes open.

She has her own independent room,

her own big bed,

her own wardrobe,

her own dresser,

she has,

a family with good conditions.

In China as a whole, the number of women, called Sheng men, would be astonishing if we made a statistics.

Parents themselves may not think about it,

but the name itself carries a kind of repression, even the owner of the name will subconsciously hate his name.

As if you were born, as if you were your own gender,

for your parents and families,

is a kind of helplessness,

is a kind of sigh that you have to admit your life,

want a son,

but give birth to a daughter,

under all kinds of helplessness, take up the name of "winner", and

is a kind of "self deception" of parents.

Human beings, because of the construction of ethics, can distinguish themselves from animals and gradually separate themselves from the sequence of all things;

but everything has two sides. The distortion of ethics often becomes a side effect and begins to hurt human beings.

It's five o'clock in the morning,

ZHU Shengnan wakes up early,

but he doesn't know what to do.

She is six years old. She used to be in kindergarten, but her family didn't let her go to kindergarten. Instead, she asked her private teacher to teach her at home.

She didn't resist, she didn't know how to resist.

She can't sleep, and it's not bright yet,

she won't make any noise or make any noise,

she has a home,

but the light and color of this home are a little dark.

She doesn't know what she can do at this point,

watching TV?

Reading comics?

Go to their parents' room, get into their bedclothes and act coquettish?

She's just leaning against the head of the bed, sitting, all the time, sitting.

Sit until it starts to light up.

Downstairs, there were footsteps. It was my grandma who got up and was preparing breakfast for the family.

She got up too,

dressed,

washed and rinsed,

tidied herself up and walked slowly down the stairs.

"Victor, come on, have a meal."

"OK, grandma."

Instead of sitting at the dining table, Sheng Nan stood at the door of the small room at the corner of the living room.

Grandma came up with a tray, on which there were porridge and chopsticks.

For the so-called eating,

is not to ask her granddaughter to have breakfast together,

it doesn't matter whether people eat or not, whether they are hungry or not,

Bodhisattva should never be in debt.

Grandma carefully put the tribute food on it, put it on the right place, then knelt down on the futon in front of her and kowtowed piously.

In Zhu Shengnan's memory, grandma didn't believe in Buddhism. She didn't know when to start believing.

After kneeling,

grandma stood up, reached out and grasped Zhu Shengnan's wrist.

The needle was taken out by grandma, stabbed into Zhu Shengnan's arm and drew half a tube of blood.

Then, grandma put the granddaughter's blood into the wick.

Zhu Shengnan doesn't know where Grandma learned this method, but she likes it very much, because she will feel more uncomfortable with some other methods than blood drawing.

Grandma knelt down again, and she began to kneel again, but this time, she knelt down to the picture under the table.

In the picture,

there are two ghost differences, in front of which is a male doll.

Grandma is praying with words in her mouth. She is very devout.

Zhu Shengnan looked at the painting. She didn't know how many times she had seen it.

Many days and nights, grandma with a whip, or dad with a cigarette end, or simply let himself hit himself,

right in front of the painting,

means to let the two ghosts in the painting see.

Say,

as long as you are like this,

a father can have a son.

Yes,

a father wants a son, and a grandmother wants a grandson.

They want the male doll in the picture,The structure below is different from itself.

Zhu Shengnan knows that he is a redundant role in this family. From the very beginning of his birth, he has been redundant to the present.

She forgets whether she has cried or not, and whether she has made trouble or not. If this is a besieged city,

there is no door for you to enter.

People outside the city can't see the inside, and people in the city can't go outside.

People can't decide which family they are born in. Once born, you have no choice.

When Bodhisattva has finished eating, it's time for him to eat.

Zhu Shengnan sat down at the dinner table, and her grandmother filled her with porridge.

On the table, there are steamed buns and salted vegetables, eggs and milk, etc.

Except in that small room,

grandma is very good to herself,

caring about her own food,

caring about her own clothes,

caring about herself,

caring about herself,

just like taking good care of her own sweetheart,

ZHU Shengnan remembers,

grandma used to be a pig farmer, which provided her father to go to university and work Made.

Dad came down. He sat at the table and smiled at Zhu Shengnan. Then he asked,

"did the Bodhisattva eat it?"

"Yes." Grandma replied.

"Well."

Dad ate something casually, and then he got up to go to work. Before he left, he said, "I won't come back tonight."

"Well, don't come back."

Zhu Shengnan knows that dad is going to live with other women tonight.

Grandma also knows about it.

He wants a son,

she wants a grandson,

the goal is the same.

The mother gave birth to herself at the first birth, and after that, she was a baby girl at the time of B-ultrasound for three consecutive births, and all of them were aborted.

In fact, a long time ago, the state ruled that doctors were not allowed to disclose the baby's gender when doing B-ultrasound.

But the rules are always good, and the original intention is always good.

however,

it is not the machine but the person who implements the rules.

Even if so, but every year that his wife is pregnant with a daughter and intends to do abortion, it is absolutely countless.

Perhaps,

is also a blessing.

Those baby girls, if they were born in a family where they would flow if they knew they were baby girls, in fact, it's better to leave early and wait for the next reincarnation.

It's not a bad thing to end the work at the very beginning, compared with the treatment and injustice they will suffer after their birth.

But Zhu Shengnan knows that there are a lot of women in his father's house, and several of them are pregnant, but they are still girls, and they have all been knocked out.

My father is a dentist. He makes his women have abortions, and he is as crisp as pulling teeth for patients.

Having no son and having more daughters means nothing to both of them.

It's a kind of obsession,

a kind of obsession that seems strange to outsiders.

After dad left, mom came down.

Mother's hair is a bit messy,

her spirit is not very good.

Zhu Shengnan is a little afraid of his mother,

especially when he is sitting at a table with his mother.

"Pa!"

"It's hot!"

Mother was scalded to her mouth by porridge, and she overturned the porridge bowl and sprinkled the hot porridge on Zhu Shengnan.

Zhu Shengnan's body trembled slightly, but he didn't cry for pain, or even pay attention to it.

Mother is intentional,

she knows,

mother doesn't like herself and hates herself.

She felt that Zhu Shengnan was the culprit of her family's present appearance.

If I was a boy, my mother would still have a happy family.

"This broom boy is angry when he sees it!"

Mother picked up chopsticks and began to smoke at Zhu Shengnan.

Zhu Shengnan sat there, motionless, and let her smoke.

If you smoke,

chopsticks hurt on your body,

but it's nothing compared to taking cigarette butts, scissors, knives and scraping yourself.

Grandma is sitting there, quietly chewing the bread in her mouth,

grandma at this time,

is like the Jiamu in a dream of Red Mansions,

standing on the top, watching the fight below.At the end of breakfast, her mother went upstairs again. She had three consecutive miscarriages, which made her unable to continue her pregnancy, and her spirit suffered a huge blow. She kept herself at home all day.

And she also knows that her husband is still working hard for a boy,

outside,

in other women.

When people watch TV plays, they often feel absurd, and they always feel that this kind of thing cannot happen in reality.

But in fact,

the stories in reality are often more like TV plays than TV plays.

Many lower limits of human beings are more terrible than the madness of artists.

When the private teacher comes,

in the daytime,

is the class.

At night, when the private teacher left,

grandma called her:

"dinner."

Zhu Shengnan came down and stood at the door of the small room.

Grandma opened the door and walked in with her.

Grandma has a blade in her hand, and she takes off her clothes.

On the body, there was another wound. Blood began to flow out.

Grandma knelt on the ground, began to cry, holding her to cry.

"Oh, my poor granddaughter,

God, open your eyes,

my poor granddaughter,

My dear baby..."

Grandma often cries,

she thinks that by crying, she can move Bodhisattva and feel the two people in the animation.

It's like crying at a funeral in a rural area. The sisters in law who talked and laughed before went in and cried out "earth shaking". Grandma also inherited this skill.

She said that there are many Bodhisattvas. If you don't shout higher, she can't hear clearly.

If she can't hear you clearly, she won't talk to you.

Zhu Shengnan looked at the grandmother holding himself on the ground, and looked at the front again.

Suddenly,

she saw the two people in the picture, like a move, yes, a move.

One of them seems to be smiling at himself.

She immediately shouted:

"grandma, people in the picture move."

She was happy,

and even happy.

Perhaps,

when the business of father and grandmother is done,

can you also get rid of this numb life?

The most difficult to extinguish and kill is often fantasy.

"Pa!"

Grandma slapped Zhu Shengnan's face with a mouthful, and she shouted: "who are you lying to, dead child? What nonsense!"