Chapter 85 - 85. Hong er's Insecurities III

Third person POV

Meiyun and Huayun stared at the sky and sighed, they knew exactly what Hong er was thinking about right now. They grew up together with Hong er and they were only 5 years older than Hong er so they were like sisters to Hong er. Hong er has low self-esteem, she would always lower herself and comparing herself to others if she wasn't in a good mood.

Now she loves herself more than in the past. When she was just picked up by Xu family, Hong er always pushes herself over her limit to become stronger and better at everything so she wouldn't embarrass Xu family. Even though Xu Tingfeng and Bai Huiqing always said that it was fine to have weaknesses, Hong er only nodded at their advices and continues to press herself.

In worse case, when she couldn't do one thing perfectly, she would harshly critic herself and locked up in her room without eating and drinking until she could do the thing perfectly.

There was once where Bai Huiqing was teaching Hong er embroidery, but that was the first time Hong er learned about embroidery. Bai Huiqing showed her how to embroider a hummingbird, then Hong er followed Bai Huiqing's instruction but the outcome was messy.

*Flashback

Bai Huiqing giggled at how cute Hong er's hummingbird was, Hong er face paled as her hands were trembling. Hong er took a new cloth and tried again but the outcome was still messy. She tried again for the third time and the result was still the same, Bai Huiqing started to get worried about Hong er so she told Hong er to rest.

Hong er slowly stood up from her seat and bowed to Bai Huiqing before she left Bai Huiqing's study room. Bai Huiqing told Meiyun and Huayun to take care of Hong er because she got a bad feeling about this and her prediction was right. That day was Sunday so Hong er didn't have any lesson, Hong er directly went to her room and asked Meiyun and Huayun to prepare her an embroidery set.

Meiyun and Huayun brought her the set and guard the front door like usual and they noticed that the sky was getting dark even though it was only 2 PM. 4 hours later, the sun started to set and it was the time for dinner but Hong er didn't came out of her room like she always did. Hong er was a very punctual person, Meiyun and Huayun never called her for dinner as Hong er always came out from her room before dinner time and went to the main hall herself. But today was weird so Meiyun and Huayun decided to call out to Hong er.

They knocked Hong er's door but there was no answer, then they knocked for the second time and still no answer. They looked at each other and nodded their head, they slowly open the door and peeked inside the room. (A/N: let me explain the room bc idk the name of the rooms. Their bedroom was rectangular and they used things like those Chinese divider to divide their bedroom into a few part. The inner part is where they put the bed, dressing table, and their wardrobe or personal stuff. The outer part is where they put desk, books, coffee/tea table, and less personal stuff.)

They didn't see Hong er in the outer part of the room so they slowly approach the inner part of the room and saw Hong er sat on her bed with her back facing them. The room was quite dark as the candle hasn't been lighted yet but since they had keen eyesight, they still could see even though it was dark.

They sighed and relaxed when they saw Hong er was still alive, they walked towards Hong er's bed and shocked to see a blood stain on her bed. They rushed to Hong er side and turned Hong er's body around. Hong er was holding a needle on her right hand and a red cloth on her left hand but they noticed that it wasn't a red cloth, rather it was a white cloth that was covered in blood. Hong er looked at them dazedly then turned her head back to her embroidery.

Blood flew down from her fingertips and dripped onto the bed, they saw her fingertips were destroyed to the point you almost could see her bones. Meiyun snatched away the needle and the cloth from Hong er's hand, Huayun ran out to call Shu Huatuo. Hong er only dazedly sat on her bed unmoving.

Hong er: ' When mother saw my embroidery, she laughed. What if other people see my embroidery, they will laugh at mother and slander her for not teaching her child correctly. I have to practice until I can do it perfectly…'

Her surroundings were getting blurry as she plopped down to her bed unconscious. 30 minutes later she regained her conscious, she looked at her hands and saw bandages covering her hands. Then she looked up and saw Xu Tingfeng with a frightening face and Bai Huiqing with tears flowing down her cheeks.

Xu Tingfeng: " Why do you have to hurt yourself like that?"

Hong er: " Father, I apologize for making you angry…"

Xu Tingfeng: " Don't apologize! You didn't do anything wrong, why do you have to apologize?"

Hong er: " But I had made father and mother disappointed in me…"

Bai Huiqing: " How can we be disappointed in you, you are the best daughter we could ask for."

Hong er: " But I failed in embroidery, I will only be a shame to Xu family."

Bai Huiqing: " No, you are not a shame to Xu family but a blessing from the god."

Hong er: " Mother…"

Bai Huiqing: " Promise me, don't push yourself like this again."

Hong er: " En."

Xu Tingfeng: " And if you break the promise! I won't let you practice martial arts and magic anymore! Humph!"

Hong er: " Hahaha, father is sulking."

Xu Tingfeng: " No, I'm not, just a little bit upset and I'm reallyyyyy serious right now, you hear me?!"

Hong er: " Yes father."

*flashback end

Since then, she still pushes herself but not as much as that day. If Hong er was in this state, she couldn't tell the time as she was too engrossed in lowering herself. Meiyun signaled Huayun to call Hong er for lunch. Huayun knocked on her door and gently called out.

Huayun: " Young Miss, it is time for lunch."

After a few seconds of silence, Hong er replied in weak voice.

Hong er: " En."

Meiyun sighed when she heard her weak voice. Hong er came out from her room with a gloomy aura around her. Hong er rarely get angry nor upset, even if she was upset, she tried her best to not affect people around her but she couldn't hide the gloomy aura.

Usually Hong er is very radiant even when she doesn't smile, she has this positive and relaxing aura around her that can make people around her felt comfortable and pleasing. So it was easy to tell Hong er's mood if she wasn't in her serious mode.

( Serious mode= when she hide her emotions and put on her fake smile= business mode)

Meiyun: " Young Miss, if you have any problem, please tell us. We are here to help you."

Hong er stared at Meiyun for a while before she smiled gently.

Hong er: " En."