Chapter 115: Shao Yan Feeling The Entire Time. Shao Cheng Close His Eyes In Acceptance.

"Third Brother, I am so sorry for being useless."

Hm?

Shao Cheng felt a bit confused after hearing the depressing and heartbreaking voice of Shao Yan along with the overwhelming regret and remorse within it while those dark blue eyes filled with extremely sad eyes and shame.

And here Shao Cheng considered that he might be having a hard time getting along well with his older brother after everything that has happened, after all, he basically uses his closest friends, even if there is that betrayal happening between them but Shao Yan and Gao still has long years of being a close companion.

Seeing that there is no change expression on his younger brother's face, Shao Yan couldn't stop the disheartening smile that graces upon his lip while his dark blue eyes deepen with complicated emotions.

"You don't get it right? Third Brother… from the start to the present… you have been taking all the burden and responsibility all yourself."

And I, your older brother, can only follow along because, in that entire situation, even I can tell that you are far better and reliable than I would ever be, I am not blind to not recognize those looks of dependence in my subordinates eyes when they look at you ok?

That sort of trust, of utmost hope and extreme belief that everything will turn out better because you are with us, Shao Cheng, even I am truly unable to give them that relief.

Raising his hand to softly cares the top of his younger brother's head while Shao Yan faces twisted in overwhelming guilt and unbearable pain as he deeply gazes upon Shao Cheng blood-stained figure.

His younger brother is no longer that spotless, always clean, and an innocent young man that their dirty world has been unable to touch.

Even though he like the change of his young brother, Shao Yan also felt the extreme guilt of what condition of the change.

"Now… you have been forced to kill people. If I was only stronger… smarter… powerful… you wouldn't have to experience such distressing circumstances…"

And Gao dying…in the end it isn't your fault, everything that is happening is because of my incompetent self.

"Shao Cheng, I… no… do you know the reason why we have never thought so badly of you despite how you have been treating us with indifference and coldness for years now?"

Seeing the way that Shao Cheng's eyes widen a bit, Shao Yan continues on, because Shao Cheng needed to know and hear about it, his younger brother is all grown up now.

"Of course the most important one is that we all love you and that will never change. Third Brother, your heart has been hurt so tortuously and painfully that it has broken down right? You hate any form of violence and fighting because you have despairingly witnessed the way that it took away the person you love so dearly."

In the corner of Shao Cheng's eyes, he swiftly saw the way that Ren Yuan eyes widen in astonishment before it quickly flash with something deep and incomprehensible while his mind is definitely flashing numerous thought of what he is hearing right now.

"So, our family who is the definition of the one you hate the most in the whole world is quite easy to figure out the reason why you have become distant and indifferent toward us. Although we have been sad about what happened, but we also felt comfort and relief in a twisted way, because you could have hated us right?"

Did you know? Being hated by you is what we feared the most.

"After all, it is far easier to hate someone but in the end you didn't and that has been what matters the most to us. Which is why we are alright with how you treated us… we can only choose to remain silent while letting you go out wandering around the place because in the end you will still come back home."

Suddenly, Shao Yan couldn't stop himself any longer as he spread his arms wide open before quickly embracing his younger brother into his arms, uncaring at the fact that his body has started shaking at the heavy emotion he is feeling at this moment.

The intense fear… relief… guilt… happiness, all those chaotic emotions from the start to the present has also taken a great toll on Shao Yan, both physically and mentally.

"Third Brother… now your hand is cover with people's blood, you have killed a person. Although I felt so guilty and sadden of what happened today, however, there is no denying the fact that I am also happy."

Shao Yan tightening his hugs has shown a touching expression on his eyes, both sad and happy, along with a soft smile with a hint of sorrow and satisfaction.

"Shao Cheng… you sure took so long to wake up… my brother… welcome back."

Thank you… for once more trying to reach out toward us.

With his heart beating a bit quicker, Shao Cheng who was being hugged couldn't help but glance at the people that have been watching the two of them his deep sapphire eyes staying a bit longer at the silent Ren Yuan that has shown a complicated expression.

And Shao Cheng couldn't help but inwardly sighs because it is quite easy to guess this time about why is Ren Yuan is showing that expression, after all, from what his older brother has mentioned, there is just one wrong thing about what he said.

It is the fact that this is not the first time that he has taken a person's life, in this new life, Shao Cheng has killed with his own hands for the first time ever during the time when he has been protecting Ren Yuan life.

And Ren Yuan understood it.

Shao Cheng couldn't help but inwardly sigh one more time, however, it was another matter for him to handle later on when there is only two of them all alone without other people listening because for now though, Shao Cheng has gently closed his eyes, while the hands that have been limp the entire time has slowly raised over before hugging his older brother back. 

Right now, he accepts the extremely warm and caring embrace of his older brother, while reflecting that it really took him a long time to open his eyes in order to recognize the people that are worth giving his genuine affection for.