CH 44

Over the rest of the vacation, while I worried about Liel, I memorized the names of every nobleman I could find.

So many names cluttered my head, but I’m not going to forget them, even if it’s for the wrong reasons.

The only saving grace I have was that most of the nobles were in the academy, so I was forced to review them unexpectedly.

Anyway, as soon as I returned to the academy, I made my way to the faculty room with a big smile on my face.

I was greeted by Professor Bendik’s perplexed face and some unwelcome news.

“Liel said he wouldn’t be back until after this semester. Well, he won’t be back until your sophomore year.”

“…….”

He didn’t bother to explain further. I understand, I just don’t accept it.

I stood still in front of Professor Bendik, wide-eyed, just as I had been when I’d stood alone and dumbfounded where Liel had left me.

“I know you’re shocked, I know you’re overwhelmed, but will you please leave now……?”

“Professor……. I don’t have any letters from Liel……?”

“This makes me feel all sorry for this. But there’s nothing.”

The professor didn’t look sorry at all. He rummaged through a drawer and pulled out a letter.

“This is from Instructor Hemil, and I don’t know if it’s any consolation to you, but there are more demons in the reinforced area than they thought, so they would just take a longer period of time, so you shouldn’t worry too much…….”

He said he could die, how can I not be worried…….

Professor Bendik’s voice trailed off in embarrassment when he saw my tearful expression.

He unfolded the letter from Instructor Hemil and held it out for me to read.

“He was originally going to send Liel back, but he says he’s been so helpful that he’s going to have to make up for his second semester class time with practicals. I know I’m not supposed to show it to you, but I specifically told you, so please don’t cry in the staff room.”

“I’m not crying…….”

I’m not crying because I haven’t wiped away my tears yet.

The professor looked at me in disbelief, but I didn’t care, turning and walking out of the office.

I staggered up to the classroom where I would have my first class of the second semester and opened the door.

“Lucy, how was your vacation?”

Melissa wasn’t there, so I knew she wasn’t taking this class. Instead, Karen, who had arrived earlier, greeted me.

“Hi, Karen. Did you have a good vacation?”

I replied in as cheerful a voice as I could muster, hoping to somehow erase the gloom from my face. But even with my empty words, I couldn’t say that I had a good vacation.

“Of course, I had a great time, because I actually went to a neighboring country with my dad this vacation.”

Karen began to tell her story with a serious expression on her face, and the mention of traveling to a neighboring country piqued my curiosity.

“But while we were traveling, a squirrel-like demon attacked us!”

“A, a demon?”

I was so surprised that I stuttered.

“Yep. It looked really cute, but it suddenly started eating our carriage, so I was really surprised…….”

I thought you had a good vacation……? She met a demon, how can she say she had a good vacation…….

“I guess this is why my parents never wanted to take me, but it was a great experience, and I got to watch the knight fight off the beast.”

For a moment, I was surprised by Karen’s boldness, but then I remembered Liel, who had suddenly gone to slay them, and I felt a heavy stone in my chest.

Liel…… you okay……?

***

After hearing Karen’s words, I was more worried about Liel’s safety than I had been on vacation.

‘I mean, he’s fighting these monsters…….’

I sat in the corner of the library and glared at the page with the demon on it.

‘We’re supposed to be fighting these things? They don’t even look like they could be cut with a sword…….’

They say the young are brave.

I wondered if it’s because he was only 18 so he could throw himself into the midst of these monsters, or if he was just getting more fearless with age.

I could understand the supporting cast’s concern for the protagonist, who was unexpectedly thrown into the middle of enemy territory in a novel-like story.

I wanted to slap my old self for thinking, “Why worry about them when they’re stronger than me?”

‘Goddess Ophelia. I don’t know how many times I’ve prayed to you, but please help my friend get back safely.’

I clasped my hands together and prayed. When I returned to Seywint Manor, I prayed to the gods every chance I got. When I ate, when I talked to my grandmother.

I had never been a religious person, but now I was praying to God for a friend with demonic powers.

‘Honestly, he’s a good person……. He’s still a good person……. I’ll do my best to make sure he stays that way…….’

It was contradictory even for me, but I decided to be shameless for my own greed.

‘He doesn’t have demonic powers…… nor does he have them because he wants them…….’

Halfway through, my conscience pricked, I added a lame excuse.

‘Why would I want to be associated with a demon and be seen praying, I…….’

Halfway through the prayer, I suddenly felt frustrated.

“Lucy.”

Her tightly closed eyes and raised hands were strained.

“L, Lucy……?”

I’m praying with all the faith I can muster, but someone keeps talking to me.

I’m in the middle of something!

My eyes widened and I looked over to see Pavon jerk back in surprise.

Uh, Pavon……?

“I, I’m sorry, you were praying……. I was going to wait until you’re done, but it was taking so long…….”

“…….”

Had I been praying that long?

I checked the time on the clock on the far wall and realized it had been about half an hour.

I prayed long enough.

“I, I’m here to listen.”

Pavon snapped his fingers.

I suddenly remembered that he had confessed to me before the break. How he’d asked me to answer his confession when the second semester started.

‘I’ve been so worried about Liel, I forgot…….’

I jumped to my feet and turned to face Pavon, his throat tightening. His hands fidgeted even more nervously.

“Why don’t we just go out and…….”

I urged him to leave, thinking this was not a conversation to have in the middle of the library. Pavon nodded obediently, as if he had the same idea.

We hurried out of the library and looked around. Luckily, everyone had gone back to their dorms and the hallways were deserted.

“…….”

“…….”

In this situation, I should probably be the first to speak. I knew what I was going to say to him anyway.

I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet, judging by how poorly I’d handled Pavon’s request for me to think about it over vacation.

“Sorry, I think it’s a little early for a relationship.”

As soon as I said no, Pavon’s eyes drooped. Then, he shook his head from side to side to finalize his expression.

“No, you shouldn’t feel sorry for me……. Thank you for answering. And…… I’m sorry for pushing you, too.”

He smiled bitterly.

To his credit, he seemed to recognize that he’d confessed to me in a rather blunt manner.

“Can I ask you one last question?”

Just as I was wondering if I should leave, I heard Pavon’s voice.

“Yes? What is it?”

“Lucy, do you have feelings for Liel?”

The question was unexpected.

I had been asked many times if I was dating Liel, but never if I liked him.

I was about to say no, but my mouth fell open.

Do I like Liel?

Of course, if he was asking for a simple favor, I would have nodded without hesitation.

“…….”

But that’s what it means to like someone.

My heart beats non stop when I am with him, I get excited when I see him, and I miss him when I don’t see him.

It’s only when a person has such complex feelings that you can call it a crush.

“I like him, but I like him as a friend.”

And if he’s talking about the kind of love that makes you fall in love and cause trouble for other people, like Liel in the original, I can’t help but shake my head.

As I concluded, I suddenly remembered the day I walked with Liel under my umbrella.

For some reason, it made me feel uncomfortable.

***

I don’t know if it’s because I’m worried about Liel or because Pavon asked me a strange question.

I hadn’t felt good since the first day of school.

I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, hoping to push my thoughts away with sleep. But even as sleep poured in, the nagging feeling continued to plague me.

When I opened my eyes again, the first thing I saw was that I was at Duke Marsen’s mansion.

‘Another dream?’

It was a dream similar to the one I had before. I never thought I’d have such an unusual dream again.

Once is a coincidence, but twice…… No, twice is still okay.

I don’t know what’s okay, but I calmed my anxiety by repeating the word okay to myself.

‘Does it mean I should go inside?’

It was clear that I had come to visit, but except for this door, the entire area was shrouded in darkness.

‘Should I not go in, but hold out?’

I stared at the door, my brow furrowed as if to see who would win.

‘Huh?’

The winner of this fight must have been decided from the start, because the door opened of its own accord.

The door opened and a bright light poured in. But strangely, it wasn’t blinding. I stared unblinking into the room.

“L, Lucy. You can’t tell anyone about this……? I told you it was a secret…….”

It was then that the familiar words rang in my ears, and what I saw next was both an unforgettable memory and the scene of a nightmare.

Liel pulled up his ankle to show me a tattoo of a snake, much smaller than it is now. To the young me in front of him.

Then, in disbelief, a chilling voice emanated from the ‘young me’.

“……Do you think being a kid excuses all your frivolous behavior?”

As a child, I would have run away as soon as I saw Liel’s snake tattoo, realizing that this was a work of fiction.

But the younger me in front of me was different.

“And why are you showing me this?”

She looked more than annoyed, she looked angry. As usual, my dream self still had a twisted personality.

‘No, that’s more than twisted, that’s just plain mean.’

I didn’t feel good, seeing it on my face, even though it wasn’t me.

“I just, I want to get to know Lucy……. If there’s someone I want to be close to, I should approach them first, my sister said…….”

Even if that’s true, showing me your tattoo is not ‘approaching’.

In fact, I was a little angry at Liel for leaving the Empire on such short notice without consulting me.

I’m sure I was, but the look on young Liel’s face made me want to pick him up and comfort him right then and there.

“……You didn’t show this to your nice little sister, did you?”

Suddenly, the younger me grabbed Liel by the scruff of the neck and yanked him away. Startled, I quickly tried to pull away the younger me’s grip on Liel who struggled to his feet.

But my hands didn’t even touch Liel, including the younger me.

“Oh, no. I didn’t show her…….”

Liel, who had finally burst into tears, shook his head rapidly. Every time he moved, a tear rolled down his chin.

He’s crying! He’s crying!

“Listen, it’s a secret for a reason, and if it gets out because of your mouth, will you be responsible?”

With those words, the younger me threw Liel to the ground.

When I saw him on his butt on the ground, my heart raced and I couldn’t breathe.

“Why would you do that to a kid like this…….”

I could see my younger self sighing as she washed her face dry, wondering what was so wrong with her.

But I didn’t like the look of it either. I glared at her, shielding Liel from her sight who’s on the floor.

That was the end of the dream.

Except this one had a much longer after-effect than the last. Grabbing a kid by the throat is not the way to go…….