CH 42

It’s strange. It’s clearly summer, so why is it so cold? My hair stood on end at the unseasonal chill.

The corners of Liel’s mouth slowly turned upward as he looked down at me, and the cold air seemed to melt away like a lie.

I wondered if it was just me.

My doubts were short-lived, as Liel’s pale complexion caught my eye.

Seeing his expression, I reached up and wrapped my hands around his pale face.

“Your hands are too cold. You don’t look happy. Is something wrong?”

Worried, I waited for his answer, unblinking. Just as my eyes were about to glaze over, Liel spoke up.

“It’s nothing, but something just happened.”

“Yeah……?”

His face remained expressionless, and he finally released his grip on my chin under my intense gaze.

“Can you give us a minute?”

Liel said, turning to Melissa.

Apparently, Liel didn’t feel comfortable confiding in anyone but me.

Melissa looked at me instead of answering. I nodded, and her eyes narrowed.

She stood up and left, saying she’d see me tomorrow.

Then Liel spoke again.

“So, you’re going to spend your vacation thinking about him?”

Since I hadn’t mentioned Pavon’s name, “he” had become the word I used to refer to him.

By the way, “thinking about Pavon” is a phrase that would be misunderstood by others.

“Where did you hear that?”

Where did he hear that and why does he speak so strangely?

I asked, and he came over and sat down next to me.

“If he’s really good-looking, comes from a good family, has a good personality, and has a clean record with women, then maybe it’s worth giving this a serious thought.”

Wow, how could he recite that correctly?

Actually, I don’t remember Melissa’s exact words, so I can’t be sure, but I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.

Liel didn’t stop there, he parroted my words.

“I guess so.”

“Uh…….”

“‘If that’s the case, it wouldn’t hurt to think about it a bit more—.”

I can see where you’re coming from, so stop it now……!

It felt like shame was pointing a finger at me. I gripped his arm tightly in a sign that said please stop and shook my head quickly.

“Did you get confessed to by a boy in your grade?”

“Yes, but…….”

“Who?”

“I don’t think it’s appropriate to say that…….”

I didn’t tell him the name because if I were Pavon, I’d feel bad.

I honestly didn’t expect Liel to be so interested in my love life.

Come to think of it, I had once asked him if it was okay for him to get involved in my love life.

I thought back to that conversation and came to the conclusion that he was a teenager who hadn’t yet hit puberty.

“Can’t you tell me more?”

Frustrated by my continued vagueness, he turned to me with a harmless look on his face, as if soothing a child.

Well, …… what should I say?

After all, I had promised him that I would, so I figured I should at least answer his question.

“Like you said, I got confessed to by a boy in my grade, and he asked me to think about it over vacation and get back to him.”

I said, bluntly and matter-of-factly. The corners of Liel’s lips twitched at my unkind and brief explanation.

“The reason you didn’t say no right away, is because you have feelings for him?”

Liel asked in a slow tone after staring at me for a while.

I didn’t hesitate to answer his question.

“No, it’s not that, I don’t really know him. I was going to say no to him right away, but he just ran away……….”

Even if I had followed Pavon, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have caught up with him.

“If my legs were any faster, I would have at least tried to catch up……!”

The more I thought about it, the more I felt strangely hurt. I rolled my eyes in frustration, but there was no response.

In the sudden silence, I opened one eye and squinted at Liel.

His face was even paler than before.

This was not the time to talk about me.

“And you?”

“…… me?”

“What’s wrong with you? You’re even paler than before.”

He hesitated to answer. His demeanor was so different from when he’d told me about Pavon.

I swallowed hard, nervously.

“Are you okay—.”

“Lucy.”

He leaned his head against my shoulder. Liel’s hair tickled the nape of my neck.

“I’m supposed to go on an extermination mission over vacation.”

“Huh?”

I asked, so surprised I almost brushed his shoulder.

“They say I might get killed if I go.”

“K, killed……!”

“But it sounds like a great opportunity, so I’m going.”

Going along with the extermination mission meant following the knights out of the Empire.

I had a bad feeling about it, I had a feeling something was going to happen, but I never thought it would be this bad.

“You’re really going to follow them? It’s too dangerous.”

I wondered if he could go back and tell them no.

As he said, going along on a mission of extermination at such a young age was a great opportunity to build his skills and position, but what good would it do if he died?

I hoped he would nod in agreement, even if only belatedly, and say, “Isn’t that right?

I think he added that he might die because he wanted me to stop him.

But my guess was beautifully off.

“…… I’ve already decided to go, and I want to go.”

“…….”

“Don’t tell Grandma Anise and sister. They’ll worry.”

The Academy will contact the Duke anyway, even if I don’t tell them. And when they do, my grandmother will know as well as Dioleta unnie.

Don’t you even think that I’m worried too?

The words rose to the top of my throat, but I didn’t dare say them to him.

I knew best that I was the only one he could confide in.

***

[Liel’s POV]

“You’re coming?”

Hemil asked, his eyes narrowing.

“Yes.”

Unlike him, Liel’s mouth curved into a thin smile.

“Again, you’re going to the rear, do you understand?”

“Yes.”

Hemil glared at Liel, who nodded obediently.

Having taught him for a year and a half, Hemil knew that Liel was secretly fearless.

But could he really be that carefree in combat?

Any knight, even one who has never faced a beast before, is bound to spark a fight. Some would even throw down their swords, which were their lifeline, and run away with their backs to the beast.

He knew it was unlikely that the calm Liel would do such a thing, but he was still worried.

“After……. What should we say to Duke Marsen…….”

The decision was made between them, but it fell to him to get Liel’s consent and break the news to the Duke of Marsen.

Hemil gritted his teeth, chalking it up to age.

“If you’re finished, I’ll leave you to it.”

Liel, who had been watching Hemil silently as he wrapped his head in his hands, said, taking a step back. Hemil waved a hand at him as if to say, “Go on.”

Liel turned and walked out of the staff room.

Even as he walked down the corridor, he realized how futile Hemil’s concern for him was.

Even if he were to die, it would have no effect on the Duke. It was not because he was a bastard.

In fact, if he were a bastard, he might even be able to afford a funeral. But the Duke would only be able to reveal the truth when he died.

‘What kind of illegitimate child is he, when there’s not a drop of blood of the Duke in him?’

Liel muttered in a murderous voice.

He was well aware of his predicament. That he has not a drop of the Duke of Marsen’s blood in him.

And he knew that his value would only increase if he lived as if he is dead.

Duchess Delphina thought it funny that Liel didn’t realize the value of what he had, but she was mistaken.

In truth, Liel had no intention of giving up anything but the right to inherit in the first place.

After all, even with the right to inherit, the Duke of Mersen would never grant him the seat of the Duke.

There was only one thing he had wanted since childhood.

In his mind, he recalled the conversation he’d overheard earlier.

“If he’s as good-looking as he says he is, with a good family, a good personality, and a clean record with the ladies, it might be worth giving it some serious thought.”

“Uh……. I guess so.”

He felt like he was being judged by others. He was not a noblewoman like Lucy.

Her father was a commoner, of course, but that was not the case for him, who was a commoner on both sides of the family.

Moreover, Lucy was the sole heir to House Seywint.

Perhaps the man who had confessed to her was more worthy than he was, based on those terms alone.

As much as he hated to admit it, he hated it more than he could bear.

So he’d deliberately told her about the extermination mission, knowing that she’d worry about him.

It was tacky, but at least this way she’d have the rest of the vacation to think about him.

Organizing his thoughts, Liel paused in the middle of the unlit hallway and closed his eyes.

What he lacks right now.

“A home, a condition…….”

He felt like he was finally getting a sense of who he was going to be in the future.

***

[Lucy’s POV]

He was gone. Without a proper goodbye.

He didn’t even tell me his departure time so I couldn’t see him off.

I rushed out the front door of the academy early in the morning, just in case, but Liel had already left.

It was said that he left early in the morning.

Disappointment, worry, and resentment mingled together, and I stood there for a while, staring at the gate through which the carriage must have passed.

A few days later, I returned to the Marquis of Seywint.

As expected, both my grandmother and Dioletta unnie were aware of Liel’s participation in the war of attrition.

“Don’t worry too much.”

“Yes, Lucy, I’m sure he’ll come back safely.”

I’m sure they were also worried inside, but they were busy trying to cheer me up when I looked so depressed.

But still, I couldn’t help but worry.

Even if Liel was the most skilled swordsman in the academy, he was still an eighteen-year-old boy who straddled the threshold of adulthood.

What’s more, he’d only become truly strong after he turned evil. Right now, he was just a human with an unusual constitution that allowed his wounds to heal quickly.

It was a good thing that his wounds healed quickly, but that didn’t mean they didn’t hurt.

The more I thought about it, the more my head throbbed and ached.

You, why did you suddenly decide to go there and worry people so much…….